Mazatlan and Tepic

The coastal weather was ungodly and sticky. After being up in the mountains it proved a real contrast and even walking about 10 minutes would leave you caked in sweat. The hotel I stayed in had CNN in English for the elections or so I had been informed by Peter. When I arrived they infomed me they did not have it so I booked in for one night. When I eventually got to the room it turns out they did have it, but I was too knackered to sort anything out. Especially as i thought the guy ahd told me his remote control controlled all of the tvs.

In the morning I got up and headed out around town for the morning before settling down for the election. The town was full of gringos. Seemingly all Yankee off the cruise ships. A mix of old retired couples, snow birds from the Lakes and soem gay actors from Vegas. Not particularly a wonderful crowd for conversation above the early Darwinian levels. They have a bar in town called the Canuck bar that amused me. Most Anglos don't understand what I mean by Canuck, so its great the Mexicans understand slang for Canadians. Mazatlan itself is a bustling dirty but very picturesque coastal town. Its pleasant to wander round the cliffs and the coastline. They have cliff divers in the town. Now I walked up this stone platform about 30m high or so and the stairs have no barriers on either side. My vertigo made this difficult, but I am slowly grappling with the bastard. At first i did not realise this was the spot from which the legendary cliff divers perform. Now this platform is 30m up. The water below is festooned with rocks. Big rocks. The water is in a swell and the spot the diver has to hit is about as large as half a bath tub. These people are insane. Not just normal insane. We are talking Touching the Void style nuts. They risk braining themselves for a few dollars from each tourist. I stood and watched one disappear into the puddle. I was certain he would not reemerge, but pop up he did. I get scared standing up there. These guys fling themselves off with reckless abandon. One thing bothered me though. Tourists were paying for things in dollars not pesos. Not a good sign. It seems that Mexican coastal resorts get the Yankee wankers in the same way that Spanish resorts get our evolutionary challenged.

Mazatlan's other major attraction is the highest natural lighthouse in the world. It is about 500 and odd metres high and is a bitch of a climb in the midday coastal sun. On the way up I passed an auto worker from Detroit who had worked for a couple of years in Luton. Poor him on both counts. He informed me there was still a way to go. Having slowly burst my lungs and sweated 3 days worth of water I made it to the top. Its worth the effort (as I later told a Japanese couple) because the view is fantastic. You can see the old town, new town, out to the island and out to sea. Now if only we could erase the two hulking cruise ships from the horizon it would look quite pretty. Another fucking annoying thing about cruise ship towns is the fact that when I speak Spanish, they speak English. Bastards. Just like Parisian waiters. Not that I speak French, but my friend is fluent and they still answer in English because of his accent. I ended up paying more money than any meal so far for some crap food in a very touristy main square in the old town. The type where waiters jostle over you like vultures on a carcass, hoping to pick clean your wallet before the next hawker gets you. It was quite amusing eating, sandwiched between two annoying groups of people, as I watched the pigeons around me. they started scratching and biting each other over the scraps of food and I felt it was a great metaphor for the waiters around me and their Yankee cruise ship morsels. Following this brief afternoon meander, I settled in for what would hopefully be a historic night.

Early turnout had been high which boded well for Obama, but the early results were not the blowout some had predicted. The talk of a fillibuster proof senate was looking a little premature as well (though they took 57 with 3 runoffs, all of which they will likely lose). Why the Dems inplode and shoot themselves in the foot is beyond me. Electing a comedian for a surefire senate seat in Minnesota cost them a lock. Luckily enough Republicans and Independents voted in the Dem primary to give them an intelligent candidate. McCain looked fried early on. If Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina and Louisiana can´t be called instantly and even some Appalachian states look tight then he was in all sorts of trouble. Early on Pennsylvania went for 11 points to Obama and then Ohio followed. Game over early doors. Though it was interesting watching the pundits try to pretend it was not over the moment Ohio was called. Only the biggest moron would have believed any tension was left really. Wolf Blitzer also annoys me too much. What a fuckwit and a tool. He pissed me off with his Hillary possibilities in the primaries and shill support. The guy is a moron and his new hologram technology stupid. How does he have a job. Can Cafferty just kill him. While CNN has the best coverage and most neutral, Fox is far more fun. O'Reillys interview with Obama was a classic. Sure enough when the hippy west coast came in Obama was inaugurated with a thumping victory. He swung Florida, Ohio, Iowa, Virginia, North Carolina, Indiana, Colorado, New Mexico and Nevada. Nine states is no mean haul and he almost snipped up Missouri and Montana. So much for Missouri's claim as the bellweather state. Looks like they were a little slow on the bandwagon. Only been on the wrong side in one election last century. Can make it two now. As for the Republicans. Bad night. People are talking the odds up for Romney and Palin next time. Shows pundits are still fucking idiots. I predict if the Republicans run a strong field and believe Obama is beatable in 2012 then the three front runners will be Mike Huckabee, Bobby Jindal and Charlie Crist (Arnie if they slacken the law). Mark my words those are their best three candidates (unless someone comes from nowhere) and I reckon Jindal will be the nominee in 2012 or 2016 as he is ultra competent. Crist is a tremendous centrist but needs a wife. Also locks up Florida where he has been bipartisan for ages. Huckabee is Palin for the right, but with charisma, talent and a great track record in Arkansas. He also looks like Spacey. McCain delivered a great concession speech and Obama should give him a cabinet position. Obama´s speech was awesome. He always brings tears to the eyes. Oh Obama took 364 votes I believe at the last count. I had him for 350. I didn´t think he would tip Indiana so someone should really employ me for a US network lol. On the shit side (literally) on this historic night I got food poisoning from that expensive restaurant. Both the sink and toilet ended up looking like their equivalents in the film the Hole, just after Keira Knightley dies.

The next morning it was still blisteringly hot and I had to hike my rucksacks down to the bus station, still dangerously ill and dehydrated from the night before. Taxi drivers keep hastling me. Wish they would just fuck off. I was informed to my annoyance that there was no bus to Puerto Vallerta. Shit. Then again it would be full of the same cruise ship Yankees. I looked for an alternative and found a dull looking city called Tepic halfway to Guadalajara. It had a nice volcanic lake apparently. I figured I would rest up and go if I wasn´t sick so I got a ticket there. I slept on te bus as I was totally destroyed physically. I arrived and ate Burger King both nights as wanted something my body would be familiar with for food. They still ahd the Big King. Awesome. Missed that burger. They did not have a Monterrey Melt though. Made me think one thing though. Why do Burger King keep discontinuing my favourite foods. Hmm still better than McDonalds. I even had a chicken royale with tomatos and onion. Actually improves it. Hmm anyway the town had nothing to it. I have written 'bunh of hyenas' in my notes and I really have no idea what the fuck I was talking about. Must make a note to elaborate a little more on my cryptic notes.

The next morning I got up and did nothing again. Was getting a lot of rest. The tax man has decided to send me 716 quid. Hmm about 150 less than expected, but a bonus as I had written that money out of the budget. May just about be able to afford the Caribbean now. pound still falling. Down to 1.49 at time of writing. What the hell is happening back home. Spurs continuing to win. They are unbeaten for all my travels in Mexico, but they never win when I am in the States. Perhaps I have to rethink my future home. On the plus side, I am no longer suspected of tax fraud. Which is good, as thats what I was doing with my tutoring lol. I grabbed a haircut. Still not sure if I like it. He did put foam all over my hair and use a cut throat razor though. Thats was cool. In the morning I left boringsville and headed for Guadalajara, but not without one more leaving present. The woman at the desk said the bus was leaving at dos y media. Or so I thought. this was 11am. Actually she said doce y media (so 12.30 rather than 2.30). I wait for ages outside. It passed half twelve. The woman at the desk says it will be another 15 minutes. The man on the station says it will be there half two. this is at half one. I go rest. I come back half two and it left at 1.40pm. Fuck that laughing bastard. The man on the desk saysd no refund, speak to the Jefe. Fuck him as well. I end up buying another ticket from a company I should have bought from in the first place. I would have been in Guadalajara four hours earlier. Fuck them all. Northern Sinaloa or Sonora is the bus company. Don´t use them. They make Vodaphone look competent. Ah I hate incompetent people. I hate people who rip me off. I hate liars and I had to resit the urge to smash smiley mans face into the concrete floor. Arrrrggghhh. Anyway on to Guadalajara.