Vietnam Part 2 (Sapa, Fansipan and Lao Cai)

Haven't had a lot of time to write in Vietnam.  That is testament to how cool the country is.  We took the night train up to Sapa.  The soft seats proved really comfortable and more than good enough to get a good nights sleep.  A local girl came to chat with us on the train and asked us how to pronounce a word in English.  We ended up having a long chat, I taught some English for the first time on the trip and we got some insider information regarding Sapa and what we should see.  It was really useful as we visited some places that were not marked in the LP guidebook.  Eventually the train arrived in Lao Cai and we were met by some guys on the platform who steered us to some minivans.  They wanted 50,000 a person, but we had read that it is 40,000.  So they loaded our bags, but we went and found a driver who would do it for less.  We unloaded our bags, but the original bus guys were annoyed at this point.  One of them tried to block me from putting my bag on the other bus, so I physically lifted him up and threw him away from the bus.  We got on the bus, but now they were refusing to leave unless we got back on the other bus.  Freedom of choice was not being respected much.  Eventually they agreed to 40,000 but one of the guys in the bus station was insisiting upon 50,000.  We would see.  We took the bus and wound up the mountain road past beautiful scenery that unfurled before us.  It was a really pretty road and we were finally seeing the famed rice terraces.  We weren't to realise how lucky we were to see all of this yet as we weren't aware of the problems of mist.  We arrived in Sapa and walked to our hostel.  Sapa is a really cool little mountain town.  We decided to go for a walk down to Cat Cat village.  Its a very easy and short walk from the centre of town.  The waterfall is not too impressive, but the walk down through the village is really pretty if you can ignore all the people trying to sell you shit.  Very authentic.  I wonder how much time it takes for a village to go from selling to each other into only selling for tourists.  The mist meant that we could not see for a long distance, but it was still very pretty.  We watched the cultural show in the village eagerly trying not to have to tip anything and then we walked round in a loop, stopping for a coffee overlooking the rice fields.  We went to Duc Minh Travel to do our Fansipan climb and paid $90 each for a 2 day trek up the mountain.  I don't think the 3 day option is worth it as you only trek up lower foothills of the mountain and you can easily see that kind of scenery around Fansipan on your own.  It was expensive, but we had a good vibe from the company and they were exceptionally good.  Highly recommended.  They even agreed to take us to the Love waterfall, included in the tour, which we had requested on a recommendation from the girl we had met on the train.  There was an old woman who kept speaking to us every time we passed her and kept inviting us to her village.  We told her that we were off to climb Fansipan instead.  The only real hassle in Sapa is in the centre of the town.  Other than that it is ok.   Jessica and I both bought some hats for only $2.5 from a really nice family shop as we needed some for the mountain.  Being winter it was quite cold in Sapa.  A guy told us that his restaurant was a good place to eat and that if we didn't like it we wouldn't have to pay.  Always a bold claim and one I like, because it shows the guy is confident.  Also as I would actually refuse to pay if it wasn't good we would not be taking any risks.  We got some rest for the trek the next day.

We were up early and took a minivan to the pass where the trek would begin.  There was a lot of mist early in the morning and we couldn't see anything really.  We would have three porters with us to carry the equipment and cook.  Our guide was super young, but he was really very good.  the best compliment I can pay this tour is that I hate tours, but this one was really, really good.  Again I would highly recommend them.  He told us we would take around 3 to 4 hours to reach the first camp (I think he thought as there were three girls, with a Malaysian joining us, that we would be really slow).  Yet by now we were quite fit and we covered the ground to the first camp in only an hour and a half.  The forest you walk through is very pretty in its own right and this first part is not too challenging.  We were passed by a couple of Spanish guys who were doing the trek in just one day.  Its doable but only if you leave early and you are very fit.  Cannelle and I could have made it, but I don't think the others would have been quite fast enough.  It was still quite misty.  At the first camp there are a couple of adorable dogs that sometimes follow the climbers up the mountain.  This climb requires no technical skills or experience.  Just endurance.  The trail is so well marked that you would not really need to take a guide with you at all to make it to the top.  We were supposed to have lunch at the first camp, but because we were fast, we decided to take lunch at the second camp.  Again the guide was super flexible and they customised the trip to the client's ability.  I liked that a lot.  It felt like you didn't have a tour, but that you did what you wanted with the logistics organised for you.  The climb to the second camp is steeper and harder.  It took us maybe just over two hours to reach the second camp and we were up there just after midday.  On the way up we met the Spanish guy that we had bumped into in two other countries already.  Random.  He was coming back down the mountain.  After a brief chat we grabbed his details and carried on.  It was very cold at the second camp.  Very, very cold.  Standing still meant that I froze a lot.  We had lunch there and left our bags in the shelter.  We were supposed to only come here on the first day, but we were here so early that we would do the summit in the same day.  We were worried that we would not see anything and the next morning may be better, but in general you almost never see anything from the top.  On guide said he could see only twice from ten climbs.  So don't expect a summit view.  Now we were quite tired.  I put far too many layers on, not remembering that I would warm up when we were walking.  Also the guide told us not to bring water, but we really should have done.  The layers meant I was sweating, but had no water to replace it.  This meant that it was a really rough climb to the top and it took us around an hour and a half to reach the summit for a total climb time of just over 5 hours.  So it can be done in a day if you are fit.  The Malaysian girl reckoned that we could do Kinibalu in a day to save money with our fitness, so to give you an idea, we climb everything in around 50-70% of the time LP says you need.  If you do the same, you can do this mountain up and down in a day just.  If not take two days.  If you are slower than LP recommends you may want to take three days.  That should give you an idea.  Fansipan is tough, but not too demanding for fit people.  Some people have said vertigo sufferers would have a hard time.  All 3 of us are vertigo sufferers and there were no problems.  Just one mild traverse around some rocks (that you can avoid), a few ladders up rocks (easy enough) and one scramble over a boulder with some wood for support (not as bad as it sounds).  I don't think you should worry if you have vertigo.  The walk is quite tough, but fun.  We couldn't see anything from the summit and came back down to the second camp.  It is better this way as even if you don't sleep, you know you have done the hardest part and it is just down the next day.  We had some traditional food for dinner, which was really good.  We spent some time in the cooking tent which was warm and crowded.  My back up shoes were slowly dying.  Our guide ate with us and was much better than the guide of the other group, who just abandoned them to eat.  They also only had sleeping bags, while we had tents and sleeping bags.  Its very cold up top, but inside the tent and shelter it is very nice and as I give off so much heat I actually only slept in my underwear and was nice and warm.  they had sub zero sleeping bags so it was very comfortable.  Another reason why they are a very good company to climb with.

In the morning we got a great pancake breakfast.  The girls were pleasantly surprised, but the Malaysian girl found it weird as she was not used to these European style breakfasts.  She was from Malaysian Borneo and she gave us some recommendations of places to visit when we got there.  After breakfast we started down and met the dogs halfway.  They had climbed up with another group, but one of them came back down with us.  We saw a snake on the way down.  The mist had cleared around 2800m, so we had breathtaking views over the mountains and could see Sapa as well as valleys filled with mist.  It looked like a carpeted sea of white amongst the green mountains.  It was very beautiful and well worth the climb.  On the way down we had to take an old trail to the Love waterfall.  They had not used it for 4 years and they had to try and pick up the trail in the jungle.  It was not so easy, but another reason why this tour company was so good.  They were moving at our pace and they were even customising old trails for us.  The three porters spread out to find the trail and we followed them through.  This was real jungle hiking and really fun.  A little slippery though.  We eventually found the path and got into the waterfall the back way.  It also saved us having to pay the entrance to the waterfall, which we really appreciated.  We waded over the river and went to the Love Waterfall.  It looks like electricity and seems as if sparks were flying off the water.  Really pretty.  We walked back up to the entrance and suddenly two buffalo came running towards us making strange noises.  We hid up a little escarpment and waited.  Hopefully they would not come up here as well.  Luckily for us the guide scared them off and we could come down a little embarrassed. On the way down we saw Silver waterfall (not as good as Love waterfall) and some chocolate brown rice fields. Jessica went to Cat Cat village in the afternoon, while Cannelle and I relaxed around the town.  We were a little exhausted.  Spurs beat Liverpool to keep up our push for the top four and end our bad run.  In the evening we played some pool and I think we should have taken some motorbikes that afternoon, because the weather was really clear.

We spent a nice morning having fun in bed as we had the whole day to chill out.  We then decided to go for a walk down the hill back towards Lao Cai as it had been so beautiful.  There was a crashed truck in a field on the left.  It had clearly driven over the edge and rolled into the field.  Interesting.  There were some local women who started chatting with us and asked if they could join us.  We said why not, but after around 200m they started trying to sell shit to us.  Never mind.  We politely refused and carried on.  There were intermittent clouds, but we decided to walk for around 8km anyway.  It was pleasant and luckily the clouds seemed to part every time there was a great view.  We hiked back up as well, because they wanted too much money for the bus.  We found some cheap internet and wrote for a bit.  I bought some new shoes.  i was worried for the quality, but they are still going strong at the moment.  We went to an Italian restaurant for our anniversary.  The food was really good.  Cannelle organised my birthday present and I know it is related to Phnomh Penh but I still don't know what it will be.  We grabbed a minivan down to Lao Cai and an Australian guy chatted with Jessica all the way down.  We found a cheap hotel and now for the difficult part.  We were heading into Ha Giang province and there was almost no information regarding the area.  Almost noone went there, but we were really interested in going there.  We had been told there was a bus from lao Cai, but noone could confirm it.  We went down to the bus station and found out there was a bus at 6am for 120,000 direct to Ha Giang.  One problem solved and the first part was very easy.  You would need to stay the night in Lao Cai to get the bus though.

Vietnam Part 1 (Thanh Hoa and Hanoi)

We grabbed the bus and it limped its way to the Vietnam border.  This is a long and slow bus ride.  Normally I will take the bus to the border, walk across and get onward transport.  I had been told that this border could be quite corrupt and difficult though.  When we eventually got there everyone was invited to hand over their passports.  Then they went through our stuff.  Pretty standard stuff so far.  Eventually we were called into the office.  Everyone was paying the officials.  Shit.  We had no money.  Only we didn't have to pay.  Ok.  They asked us if we had any Laos money left.  We said no.  I am not sure if they wanted to do us a favour by exchanging the money or they wanted a bung.  The longer I am in Vietnam, the more I think it may have been the former.  We had been told by many travellers that Vietnam was a real hassle to travel through and that the people really weren't very nice.  We were prepared.  The bus stopped for food.  Only we were in a small town with no ATM (there does not appear to be one on this side of the border so be careful to carry money to change if you intend to walk across the money).  No food for us.  We were to get very hungry when our crisps and biscuits ran out.  The restaurant guy came out to see if we wanted to eat, but we told him we had no money.  On the way the bus passed through some really beautiful scenery.  It made me excited, because in any other country so far in South East Asia this would be a major tourist attraction, but not here.  That implied that there were a lot of cool places to see here.  We had been most excited for Vietnam of all of the mainland South East Asian countries.  Our bus broke down about three quarters of the way to Thanh Hoa, but luckily we were up and running after around half an hour.  We were going to be late.  I wasn't sure if we would make the connection to Hanoi and if it was better to stay the night in Thanh Hoa.  It didn't exist in our guidebook, but it must have a hotel.  We arrived in town and unsurprisingly there were no other tourists.  We were jumped by motorbike taxis the moment we left the bus.  We ignored them and were quoted 300,000 for a hotel room.  Seemed steep, so we walked into town, grabbing some cash and eventually found a place for 200,000 for the 3 of us.  Wow.  The quality was obvious from the beginning.  In Vietnam you get a lot more for your money than in Laos.  Hot water, tv, comfortable beds.  All for almost nothing.  Lakeview Hotel.  We were going to like Vietnam.  Yet how were the people?  We went out to see the town and got some cheap food (sausage and rice) from an old guy on the street.  Super cheap internet (16.5p an hour) and really fast. We kept our trick of going to internet cafes for gaming kids.  Still super fast and cheap.  Writing in one now that is 10p an hour.  The people seemed really nice and being a non touristy town we were getting used to the prices that normal Vietnamese pay.  They haven't learnt to rip people off yet.  Armed with some average prices we were off to Hanoi the next day.

We went to the local bus station and got a cheap bus to Hanoi.  It.....took.....ages.  Almost 4 hours.  Not sure how that's even possible on highway one.  We were then dropped off in one of Hanoi's five hundred bus stations.  Of course it was miles to the South.  Taxi drivers want loads to use them.  I walked the 7km North to the old quarter via the railway station, while Cannelle and Jessica took a local bus for 3,000 (10p) each.  My advice is to take the local bus.  Locals seem keen to help.  Be warned that you must be quiet on the bus though as that's a rule.  We had been itching to go to the cinema for ages and having checked in to the really good Titanic Hotel we went off to watch James Bond and the final Twilight.  The Bond film is good and Twilight is now finished, thank God.  Even Cannelle noticed the marked difference in quality when you watch a Twilight film after anything else.  We ate dinner in Pizza Hut as well, which is much better than home.  It was a real chilled, home comfort day.  We found the people pretty friendly and not too pushy, but we tended to hang out away from the old quarter.  I even bought a coke for 8,000 and the woman asked me how I knew that was the price.  I said I was in Thanh Hoa.  Always good to get some perspective in a non touristy town.  We left the cinema at half twelve and walked the ghost streets.  We had heard that Hanoi had a curfew at midnight, but the city truly is quite dead late on.  We walked Jessica back to her hotel, though we got lost a few times trying to find it.

In the morning we went to Hanoi railway station to sort out the train for Sapa on the Sunday night.  The first woman was a bitch and would only sell us tickets for a soft sleeper at around 600,000.  Ridiculous.  As there was noone at the info desk I went on myself and scrolled through the different trains.  Much easier to do in Vietnamese than Laotian or Thai due to them using our alphabet.  In the end we found someone nicer and she sold us soft seating for around 220,000.  So much cheaper.  Almost every tourist seemed to be going for a sleeper.  You should be able to get them for 480,000 or so at the train station, with all travel agencies and hotels wanting a 50% mark up.  We went to the temple on the lake in the old quarter.  It was really nice and we enjoyed the change in architectural style.  We then did the LP old quarter tour.  It was nice, but I am not a markets man.  The merchant's house is cool though and worth the small entrance fee.  We went to a ridiculous internet place where none of the computers worked and the keybords seemed to be melted.  She epent ages setting stuff up randomly and in the end nothing worked.  We just left.  All the hotels wanted 30,000 an hour.  Insane.  Eventually we found a place for 10,000 an hour (which is still the most expensive we have had in Vietnam).  Spurs drew with Lazio and Redknapp was back with QPR.  Cannelle chatted with her sister and then we went out for a couchsurfing dinner.  We went to a street grill.  The food was really good, but everyone had to pay 100,000 which is very steep, but then again meat is very expensive here.  There seemed a cool bunch down one end of the table and the only cool person we had was a girl from the Phillippines who had to leave early.  Shame.  At least we got her details to see her in the Phillippines.  The others were mostly morons.  We had a fat woman from the States who seemed determined to scare Cannelle about Papua New Guinea, a weird American Romney fan and not much else.  Then on the way to the bar I got stuck with a depressive Belgian who entertained me with his stories of how his card was stolen and so he couldn't stay places and had to keep travelling back and forth with help from money people lent him.  It caused him a lot of headaches.  Then he told me he was now using his second card in Vietnam.  I asked why he hadn't used the second card before, but he said he hadn't wanted to take a risk.  Of course.  So much better to ruin your holiday.  Moron.  Eventually he left, but I had had enough.  Couchsurfing meetings are rarely as good as the hosting/staying experience.  I should know this by now.  There was even the Israeli guy who tried to hit on Cannelle.  He had hit on her in Laos as well and had told us how he had gone all the way to the border of Vietnam before he realised that he needed to get a visa in advance.  South East Asia has a lot of stupid travellers.  I meet so many people who say its better to travel without a guidebook.  Tell it to that guy as he wasted 4 days going back and forth.  I don't understand why you wouldn't have one.  You can always choose not to use it if you don't want to, but why cut off your avenues.  Cannelle and I grabbed an ice cream and went to sit by the cathedral.  Its a very pretty building and we were liking Hanoi.

We were supposed to meet Jessica near her hotel in the morning, but we had had problems with the laundry and would be late.  There were some fuckwit Aussies and English in our hostel (one had 'I am a cunt' written on his arm in pen.  Well at least he is self aware).  Lots of people are rude to the people in Vietnam, so I am not so surprised that they get fed up.  We got to the arch half an hour late and Jessica wasn't there.  Then an Austrian girl informed us that Jessica was too sick to meet us.  So we set off for the day.  Cannelle wanted to see Jessica later, but I persuaded her that there would be no point unless she got sicker as she just needed a rest.  We went to the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum to see Uncle Ho himself.  Cannelle was scared to visit, but I had seen Lenin and I told her it was ok.  The palace is overrated in my opinion, though Cannelle liked it.  There were loads of girls in traditional dresses around town and we weren't really sure why.  A girl on the train to Sapa told us that it was for graduation and everyone rents the dresses, because they are too expensive to buy.  We went to the big lake (which is underwhelming) and found Loteria (a Japanese McDonalds a like that we eat in quite often).  After we went to the Fine Arts Museum, which is really cool and worth a visit.  Cannelle really liked it, even though she doesn't usually like art museums.  Afterwards we went to the Temple of Literature, which is very beautiful and well worth the visit.  The beauty of Vietnam is that everything costs 1 Euro or less to visit and so you visit more places, because if it turns out to be crap it doesn't matter.  That's exactly what happened with the History Museum, which was super shit propaganda and not even funny like the Cuban history museum.  It was the only waste of money and I am a big history lover.  Its just photos though and no actual history.  We went to the post office to send Babou her christmas present.  That took some effort and the woman was quite useless.  So far the only annoying people in Vietnam were all working in some kind of bureaucratic official position.  We went to the cinematheque in the evening.  Its a really cool old school cinema.  You have to visit, even if its just to see the building.  We watched Rebecca, which was the first time I had seen a Hitchcock and it was really good.  After the fat American bitch's tirade on PPNG, we decided to do more research.

Our last day in Hanoi.  We were starting to slow down the pace now as we liked the city.  I needed to buy some shoes as mine were almost dead.  Getting a size 48 in South East Asia is almost impossible.  If I don't have more luck in Singapore I will be in the shit.  We went looking for a raincoat and rucksack for Cannelle and shoes for me.  We failed on everything except the rucksack that is a cheap knock off and we are not sure how long it will last.  It has already started to fall apart a few times.  We watched Lawless at the cinema, which was not bad.  It was a lazy day.  Jessica was still sick, but she was going to join us for the train that evening.  An Aussie from CS asked us if we could do him a  favour and take his bag up to Sapa on the bus.  Only we were going by train and my shoulder was too broken to carry anything else.  I told him his girlfriend needed to get the bag to the train station.  He didn't.  We got chatting with some English guys in the railway station.  They were paying a mental amount to go to Sapa, but both worked in finance so it wasn't a problem.  Eventually the time came for the train. We wandered out and found our seats.  We were off to Sapa and the North.  It was going to be winter at last. Hanoi is a cool city, but Cannelle still prefers Bangkok as its more modern.  Hanoi grows on you though.  We even found an excellent little Japanese pudding place and ate at the really cool Gecko restaurant if you get the chance.

Laos Part 5 (Nong Khiaw, Mong Ngong Neua and Vieng Xai)

The boat ride up the river is nice, but it is nowhere near as amazing as people say.  Think pleasant and you won't be diappointed.  We had to head up through some rapids on the way as well.  There was a French guy and a Dutch guy with us, along with an Englishwoman named Jenny.  She told me on the boat that the Laotians had not always lied, but they were finding it difficult to deal with capitalism and that she had noticed a lot of lying recently.  It reminds me of a story from an American in Phonsavan.  When she was asked if she wanted another glass of wine, she replied that it was too expensive and the Laotian replied it was 'not too expensive for you'.  We arrived in Nong Khiaw and it really is a pretty little town.  The kind of place that grows on you every day you are there.  We found a very cheap guesthouse and decided to hike out to the nearby caves.  They are unremarkable, but the walk there is very pretty.  While we were there a random guy appeare from nowhere with a torch, but as we didn't really want to pay him for anything, we declined the offer.  In the evening we joined Jenny at her place and I finally had the venison.  Not as good as home, but still really tasty.  When we arrived in town we bumped into the Belgian guy who we had met in Vientiane.  He had had a terrible time in the North.  He had gone on a trek on the first day that was far too difficult for his fitness level.  Nevermind that the trek had been clearly labelled as difficult.  He strained his knee and fell through a bamboo bridge into the river below, also injuring his back.  He had to abandon the trek and take a boat down river that was ruined by constant rain so they had to put down the covers and couldn't see the scenery.  Nice holiday.  After the food we went to the only bar in town to watch Hangover 2.  I hand't seen the first one, but as the second is basically a rerun apparently I now feel I got two for the price of one.  The place was full of hippies though.  After the film I decided to stay and watch the Spurs Arsenal game.  That lasted for one half, when it was obvious we were going to be destroyed and destroyed we were.  I would advise getting here as soon as possible, before it changes for the worst.  The bar full of hippies is already heading in that direction.

We had a very lazy morning.  Well we had a lazy day.  We took the boat up to the village of Mong Ngong Neua.  Untouristy LP said.  Ah LP.  You know when you write that it is the kiss of death for a place.  My God there were almost more tourists than locals.  That was surprising.  We found ourselves a place on the river and as everyone was either too lazy or sick to hike, we lounged around in hammocks all day.  We met the old Swiss woman from Sukhotai which was random and she recommended some places to eat.  We ended up eating in the place run by a Swedish guy and his Laotian wife.  She regaled us with her accounts of a near death experience that converted her to buddhism.  She said she had pleaded with God to let her come back, as her mum did not have enough English to run the hotel.  We also found out that in Laos you can't own property as a foreigner and have to have some locals to front the business.  Its a nice village, but as we did nothing I can't really recommend anything.  Saints beat Oakland and kept us alive.

In the morning we got the bus back to Nong Khiaw and walked to the bus station.  They provide tuk tuks but the bus station is a 10 minute walk.  Ridiculous by anyones standards.  We then had to get the midday bus to Sam Neua.  That is a very, very long bus ride.  It was like being slowly roasted in hell.  It eventually limped into Sam Neua at 10.30pm which was too late for us to eat anywhere.  We walked into town and got the only hotel that wasn't full.  One last day in Laos and we had to work out how to get to Vieng Xai caves.

Firstly they had no automatic scooters.  The girls had overriden me in getting up late, but the lack of scooters meant we would have to walk to the bus station and get a bus.  There are no convenient ways to do this trip by public transport, but you can book yourself onto a private tour if you can take the earliest and come back on the earliest.  Or so we thought.  We walked to the bus station for the 10am bus and were informed that there was only one functioning bus at 8am.  Fuck sake.  They would take us by taxi for 200,000 kip one way or 300,000 return.  Useless.  So we had to walk back into town.  We grabbed some food and tried to work through options as the only other tour was at 1pm.  So we went to the tourist information and after some haggling got a jumbo for the tour for 300,000 between four.  In the end this would prove to be by far the best option.  Though in the beginning he struggled to get there and needed to stop for a mechanic.  We were panicking for the tour.  We arrived and the jumbo driver told us half one.  Though everyone said he meant he would pick us up at 4pm.  Ok.  Looked weird to me.  We walked to the centre (missing the entrance once) and got the audio guides.  We said we didn't want bicycles and so the woman spent 10 minutes telling us where we wouldn't be able to visit.  I just wanted to go as our time was being eaten up.  Then we were told we needed a guide.  Fuck that.  I stormed out of the centre angrily and then a jumbo turned up.  I knew the guide would walk too slow, so we wouldn't be able to see everything.  The others were getting in.  I cam back.  Ah.  It was our jumbo.  It would take us round.  Cool.  This is why its the best option.  With the jumbo you will be able to comfortably see all the caves without rushing and you get the transport there and back as well.  Our guide was really nice despite me clearly resenting his slowness and presence at the beginning.  When I eventually calmed down we were off and running.  Its a really, really interesting tour where you take in the caves where the Laos rebels hid during the bombing, then through the hospital and eventually to the barracks, theatre and artillery placements.  Thsi combined with Phonsavan were great places to learn a lot about the history of Laos.  When we got back we found out that we could take the bus to Vietnam from the central bus station and that you don't have to walk all the way out of town. In fact it goes there first so its the best place to get the bus.  There was no internet in town so we stayed up late chatting in a cafe and had conversations on everything from science, to x-rays to US politics to Pearl Harbour.  Peter is a really interesting and intelligent guy.  Luckily we will probably catch up again in Cambodia for New Year.  He changed up our remaining kip for dollars.  The next day we would get up early and take the bus to Thanh Hoa (Its not even in the LP Vietnam guidebook).  We were off to Vietnam and my 71st country.  All of us had enjoyed our time in Laos, but none of us were sad to leave and certainly not keen to go back.  It had run its course.

Laos Part 4 (Phonsavan and Luang Prabang)

So we finally arrived in Phonsavan after our crushing minibus ride.  I was determined to leave by bus, even if it was more expensive than the minibus, because it was a lot more comfortable.  We arrived and were offered a very cheap room in a hotel.  We were shipped off there and indeed got a room for around 40,000 kip.  Jessica met a Slovenian girl and an American woman who wanted to share a room with her to cut costs.  They would spend most of the time fighting each other.  We wanted to go out and see all the jar sites the following day and we were immediately rang by a friend of the hotel who quoted us around 150,000 kip each for a tour.  That was very expensive for us.  We figured we could do it cheaper.  After enquiring around the city we realised that it was not going to be possible.  You can't really get a tuk tuk and the main tour company claimed that they would pay the permit for us (As far as we could see there was no permit and there certainly wasn't anyone checking permits when we got there).  They even said there was a UNESCO tax, but I knew they had not been granted UNESCO status yet.  Yet another lie.  Another option was to take a motorbike but this was quite expensive as well.  A bicycle would be a long way.  All the tour agencies  say that the first site is around 15km away and the others are further.  Lonely Planet seemed to reaffirm this and I am beginning to believe that half of the stuff they put in the book is not actually researched on the ground as there are a lot of errors.  We did some soul searching to see if we really wanted to do all three sites.  In the end we decided that one would probably be enough and we decided that we would walk it the next day and then maybe take some bus expeditions afterwards.  We decided to go to the MAG centre to watch some of the documentaries related to UXO (unexploded bombs).  A giant tour group hired the cinema out so I had to wait an hour to watch the 'bombies' documentary.  Cannelle and Jessica didn't mind missing the first 5 minutes so they went in straight away, but it irritates me so I decided to wait.  The centre itself is very interesting and the documentaries are first class.  We would't be able to watch the other 2 that day and if you are in town for only one evening, be aware that the timings are for three documentaries and not a repeat as LP seems to suggest.  They are excellent.  I would go so far to say that they are better than visiting the jars themselves.

In the morning we looked into buses.  The hostels say they will do a minibus for 110,000 or a bus for 120,000.  That seemed a little expensive.  Not trusting any of the lying shit we get here (though in the North it is better) I walked to the bus station and found out it is only 90,000 and no slower than the minibus.  It is also more comfortable and as usual you get more contact with locals.  We decided to walk to jar site 1.  15km is very doable for us.  In fact its only around 8-9km.  There is also a mini golf on the way somewhere, but we didn't get to play.  All the time the American had been getting super stressy with us, because she needed us for a discount on her tour.  Why would I pay 150,000 when by walking I spent only 10,000 on the entrance.  Massive difference and a really cheap day.  The site is nice, but I think one would be enough.  We didn't see anything in the surrounding hills to suggest the other sites would be in a stunning location.  I also think they are closer than the 25km and 35km advertised, but I have no proof of this.  Cannelle wanted to jump in a tuk tuk back as they offered us 10,000 kip each back to town, so we only walked 9km, saw the major site and paid 20,000 each in total.  We went back to MAG and watched the other two documentaries.  Essential viewing and also free.  We went to sleep early as we had to catch the bus early in the morning.  I don't think the hostel was too happy we didn't take their tour.  On a side note Phonsavan was the only place where we never found an ATM that did not charge for withdrawals and so was the source of our only 20,000 kip withdrawal fee.  The only one we never tried was the one on the road to the Plain of Jars.  Its away from the tourist zone so maybe it will work.

We left early and walked the 4km to the bus station.  We had only just arrived when the woman from the hostel came towards us telling us we must pay for the room.  We told her that we had already paid, but she insisted that we must pay.  Then she produced a receipt of an unpaid bill.  The name on the bill was Ludovic Lopez, he was French and he had stayed in the same room as us the night before we arrived.  I showed her my passport to show her that I wasn't French and that wasn't my name.  She wanted to see Cannelle's even though it clearly said male on the form.  Oh well why not humour her.  She still said we must pay.  I pointed out the dates.  She still said we must pay.  At this point we were getting angry and just ignored her.  So she phoned a friend.  The friend spoke to us in English and we explained how it was not our name, date or nationality and gave the phone back.  You could then hear her arguing with him.  That must be the end now.  No.  She came back again.  You must pay.  Fuck sake.  We ignored her.  Eventually she left.  We were worried she had gone for the police.  I am not sure if it was stupidity, desperation, not wanting to lose face or all three that prompted her to keep coming.  Anyway no police arrived.  If anyone knows Ludovic Lopez or you are reading this yourself please get in touch.  I am dying to know if you actually forgot to pay or if she was just trying to squeeze money out of tourists.  Anyway back to the bus, which only had 3 wheels.  Fuck sake.  Nothing simple.  They even got us to board the bus with only three wheels.  I figured we would probably need four wheels, but what do I know.  Eventually we got started late and still only just arrived behind the minivan.  We stopped about 30 minutes from Luang Prabang for a lovely view and food.  They had venison.  Fucking venison.  Yet it was too expensive.  We arrived after the long day and couldn't find anywhere cheap.  Eventually we got a place with some bungalows and Jessica went looking for a dorm bed. I had left Peter a message to meet him for dinner, but when we finally got to check our e-mails we were too late for the time we were supposed to meet, so I suggested meeting the following morning at the bakery.  It really was a pretty town.  Shame we couldn't stay longer.  One of the problems with the Vietnam visa is that you have to give an exact date of entry and then you have to enter the country on that date or you lose some of the days of your visa.  We had set the 21st November and we really didn't have many days left.  It was going to be tight.  Everyone had told us Luang Prabang was shit.  In my opinion everyone was wrong.  The same as with Vientiane.  We had one day there and we were going to have to pack a lot in.

In the morning we met Peter for breakfast and he said he didn't want to go to the waterfall.  We agreed to meet to do the palace later and we would get the boat to Nong Khiaw the next day.  We went to the corner in front of the tourist information to meet other people to get a tuk tuk to the waterfall.  There we met 4 Russians and a Dutch couple.  One guy was going to take the nine of us, until his colleague realised he had noone and after a brief discussion we learnt that the limit was eight people.  Ah convenient or more bullshit.  Not really sure, but if you are reading this and going then if they say the limit is six or seven let me know as I am curious.  Anyway we went with the Dutch couple as they were the first to come back from their hotel.  We had a nice time with them for the morning.  The park is very beautiful.  Like a small Plitvice.  The girls hadn't brought their swimming costumes, but I had so I was able to go in the water, even if it was quite cold. Its a pleasant place to swim.  At the final waterfall you can hike to the top, but noone seems to bother.  With my obsession of climbing high places I was obviously going to go.  We hiked up the left.  I was in my sandals.  Its a steepish climb, but not too long.  There is no real reward to it besides some exercise and some brief views.  Beware the leeches as well.  When we realised they were there I panicked as I was in sandals without my usual sock defense.  One even climbed onto my foot, but failed to bite me.  Scary.  Needless to say we got down quickly.  As beautiful as the waterfalls are the highlight was the feeding of the black bears at 12 or 12.30pm.  I can't remember exactly.  Its really cool to watch their interactions and hunting for food as they have a rescue centre in the park.  I got back just in time at 2pm to do the palace with Peter.  I found the palace a little underwhelming (like Bangkok), but its cheaper so why not.  The cars and monk photos were boring.  The palace was most notable for Peter's excitement at some moon rocks that the Americans had given the Laotians.  Afterwards we went to get tickets for the boat, but they told us to come in the morning.  You just need to be there about an hour before departure (8am).  Everyone separated and I went to visit the most famous Wat (that adorns the cover of LP Laos) and then we met again to clinb the hill for sunset.  Its really pretty, but very crowded up there.  I also took a walk around the end of the island and its a really pretty town to go for a stroll around in.  All of us were sad that we didn't have more time to enjoy it.  On the way down I passed the Buddha's foot and then we all met (including the Dutch couple) to watch Salmon Fishing in Yemen in a bar.  It was really good until the bar next door decided to play a thumping techno soundtrack.  That I could cope with (though Jessica found it more difficult), but when they started rapping and cheering it was difficult to concentrate.  I still think I got most of it.  In the morning I bought a lot of pain au chocolats from the famous bakery (which are really good) and we boarded the boat to Nong Khiaw.  We were off to the last part of Laos.

Laos Part 3 (Vientiane and Vang Vieng)

On the way on the bus we stopped for a toilet break.  Jessica went out for a wee in the woods and came back rather traumatised.  She had accidentally stepped in pooh and now had it all over her trousers.  We imagined she was covered in it.  Yet it turned out it was not too bad.  It did smell though.  Being fastidious about cleanliness she was mortified for the remainder of the bus ride.  Meanwhile to Cannelle and I, it was extremely funny.  We arrived in Vientiane and as we were on a local bus a large jumbo came to take us to the other bus station (we did not know this at the time.  Some Spanish guys informed us that there is a jumbo between the two main bus stations which is very cheap and saves a tuk tuk ride).  It was going to be a local one, but after they saw foreigners, they decided to not allow the locals on and kindly rent it to us for a ridiculous price.  Fuck I hate Laos people sometimes.  We didn't want their overpriced jumbo.  We walked out and about until we eventually took a tuk tuk for 10,000 each.  I think we may have been able to get 5,000 (though not inside the bus station), except we really had to get to the Vietnam embassy to get our visa as it was friday and the weekend was coming.  We arrived and got changed outside.  We had heard that they were super fussy about looking presentable, so we left Jessica outside with the bags and figured we would go in one by one.  It was much easier than we had expected and we had our visas in 15 minutes once we had paid for the express service. One guy saw our bags outside and laughed.  It seems its not that bad.  Just don't show up looking like a tramp.  It was good to be back in a city again, even if Vientiane is not really that much of a city.  We grabbed some pizza and got some sleep.

In the morning we were up and did a tour of the city.  This takes around 2 hours maximum, regardless of what Lonely Planey says.  Its a very pretty little city though.  Everyone had told us it was shit, but its better than they say.  We really liked it.  We walked past the palace and some of the old streets.  We went down to the river (which reminded us of like Barcelona waterfront at night) and to the mini arc de triomf, which we of course climbed.  After we grabbed breakfast and met a Belgian guy who was also travelling.  We had found the French cultural centre the day before and decided to go and watch the double bill for free.  We watched Le Noms de Gens and another film about two young Moroccan girls living in Puteaux.  The second one (which was actually first) was entertaining but difficult for me without the subtitles.  Le Noms de Gens is a really good film and is constantly innovative and going in directions you don't quite expect.  It was fun to be back in the cinema again as Laos does not actually have any cinemas.  We bumped into the Spanish guys who we had met in Hsipaw when we were hiking.  Very random.  They told us the North was really cool and that the people there apparently didn't lie at all.  We headed to a really nice French restaurant for dinner.  We could even find haribo etc, so we were far from being on budget in this city.  We can never stay on budget in cities as our impulse to spend on the finer things always takes over.  I had steak and the others had various dishes.  Really good again.  We decided to go bowling, but they wouldn't let us in without socks and stupidly we didn't have any and I was not going to pay to rent socks when I had some back at the hostel.  We decided to play pool next to our hostel.  I won almost every game against everyone as it was finally on American pool tables and a style I was used to.  There were a few dickhead English guys, but they seem to get everywhere.

We did nothing in the morning.  Just relaxed.  There really isn't enough to do in Laos.  Its the biggest problem.  Lots of half days, but not many packed days.  We grabbed breakfast (croissants and pain au chocolats as you can get anything French here) and then had to sit down with some dickhead French guys and a lazy bum, who had taken 3 days to get his visa for Vietnam, left it till saturday and had to spend a week in Vientiane.  Moron.  We booked a minibus from our hotel to Vang Vieng as it was surprisingly cheaper.  They put on the evil air con again.  I hate minivans.  They ram you in like battery chicken and then freeze you to death in case you go off on the way to your destination.  I felt like cargo chicken.  I opened the window to remove the aircon, but they forced me to freeze myself.  They dropped us off at a hotel.  Ah...here was why it was cheap.  Never mind.  They offered us a room for 100,000.  How generous.  Looked like a nice place, but our budget was 40,000 - 50,000.  We said no and they offered everyone a tuk tuk ride to town.  I said it was less than 1km which ruined their plans for money and we set off walking.  Their cheap bus would not pay dividends this time as the other tourists followed us as well.  Then they walked 20m and decided that was too much effort (it is a long way) and took the tuk tuk.  We walked into town and got a really nice room for 50,000.  As someone said you can't see the river.  I said that I am sure I would be able to see the river from the riverbank.  The place looks like a ghost town now.  Once famous for its raves, partying, drinks and drugs, it has all changed now.  I guess it was the fact that 22 people drowned on a very shallow river.  Whatever the reason, they had shut down all of the bars.  Its now back to where it was before all the boom in tourism I imagine.  Still have lots of buses of 'zombie tourists' (have to credit Peter with that great expression) arriving and asking questions like 'but there aren't any bars left?'  Of course because you fly all the way around the world to drink on a river.  Can do that at home.  We watched Spurs lose 2-1 to Manchester City and I had really believed we would hang on.  Oh well.

The morning began with a real disagreement and fight over what we would do as there was no night bus to Phonsavan.  That meant we only had one day here instead of two.  There were three things we wanted to do (tubing, visit the hotel with the cave pool and visit the blue lagoon by bicycle).  We wouldn't have time to do all of it.  New Orleans beat Atlanta as well to continue their recovery.  Seems like both my teams can't win at the same time.  In the end we opted to start with tubing after a fruitless walk to the bus station to check times.  Its 10,000 cheaper for a bus from there, but if you factor in the cost and/or time of getting there it may not be worth it.  We met some French people (Cannelle assures me they were annoying), an Italian guy (who was annoying) and a Spanish guy (who everyone liked but I didn't warm to).  They would be our tubing buddies.  The float down the river was quite nice, but not amazing.  We had come in the morning to avoid the zombie tourists.  You can see all the scars along the river bank where the bars used to be.  Now its just very peaceful.  The river is not that fast compared to Belize where I last tubed.  Without all the excietment of the bars I really don't think the place will continue to thrive.  There has been such a monumental building boom that there are now far too many bars and hotels for the tourists.  Every bar has around 5 people in it and apparently tourism is down 60%.  When people realise what has happened the town will be finished.  It is going to make the place very, very cheap.  Bad news for the locals, but great news for any tourists who had been put off visiting the place by its reputation.  The float down the river was nice and peaceful and Cannelle and I even found time to do some salsa on the tubes.  When we arrived in the town some little kids tried to grab the tubes, but we had heard this was a sure fire way to lose our deposit, so we clung on and took them back.  We had been stamped like a cattle branding before we had got on the tubes.  We grabbed a burger from the street vendors in town.  It was a really good street burger and all the ingredients were fresh.  I would highly recommend it as all the food we ate in restaurants ranged from mediocre to crap and was far too expensive.  Jessica decided to stay in town and Cannelle and I went off to Vang Vieng resort and the cave lagoon.  Its a pretty little walk and the place was full of Thai tourists.  They looked at our hands and saw the marks and laughed with their friends.  I made a 'moo' sound like cows and they laughed even more.  Its amazing the level of conversation and understanding you can have with someone, even when you don't speak the same language.  The cave is rubbish, but the little pool is really nice.  Its a very relaxing place.  You can swim into the cave, even though the water was really cold.  After we decided to walk to the blue lagoon, because it was only 6km or so and there seemed no need for a bicycle.  If you like walking I would highly recommend this option as the road is very bumpy and not very pleasant for cycling.  We walked all the way there in less than an hour and a half.  Some locals were like 'you walking, very good.'  Some tourists even took photos of us because we walked.  The annoying Italian guy had said it was impossible to walk.  Yes, totally impossible.  Idiot.  We played with some puppies en route, who were impossibly cute.  The walk there is really pretty.  The blue lagoon less so.  It was honestly a bit of a disappointment.  The cave at the top of the slippery climb was better than the lagoon.  If you are torn between here and the resort, go to the resort.  We had been told the resort was better by Savine.  When we got there we thought it can't be.  When we got to the lagoon we realised it was.  The water was freezing cold as well, so even swimming is not that pleasant. On the way back we saw lots of Hmong children begging and even one who was carrying her little brother, saw us and started to fake cry and beg for money.  Cannelle was a little sickened that she would fake it.  I am too cynical.  We got back just as the sunlight was fading and went to meet Jessica and the Spanish guy for dinner.  The annoying Italian (who turned out to be a London city boy.  No surprise) was also there.  So was a nice German couple and Peter (an American from Alaska who coined the zombie tourist phrase).  We ended up having a long discussion on politics and an even longer one on bears as Cannelle was surprised that bears were like dogs to him, having grown up around them with them being so common.  The German guy looked a lot like my old housemate James.  The Spanish guy told a lot of crap jokes, but the dinner was quite nice and we had some decent local Laos food. We suggested that Peter met us in Luang Prabang and travelled the north with us as he also wanted to visit the caves.

In the morning we got our ridiculous pick up to go to the bus station where everyone was just loaded on a jumbo and herded up there like cattle.  We saw Peter again as he was off to Luang Prabang.  Everyone got on their buses and there was one French moron who didn't realise he had gotten on the wrong bus even though everyone was saying for five minutes that someone was on the wrong one.  It was very cramped on our bus, but we were off to Phonsavan.

Laos Part 2: (Savannakhet, Tha Khaek and Kong Lo Cave)

Not a lot happened during this leg of the trip as I had to slow us down so that we would be able to watch the US election in a town where I could guarantee I would be able to get cable tv.  We arrived in colonial Savannakhet and walked into town from the bus station.  We headed to the cheap option from Lonely Planet, but it has now shut down.  They pointed us to another place and we took a wander around the colonial town.  Its quite unremarkable, but nice for a stroll.  The kind of town that you would not especially go out of your way to visit, but that equally you could pass a day in if you have to.  My notes read 'colonial town' and that's it.  Seems a fitting description.  Spurs lost to Wigan and it seemed like Obama was edging ahead in all the polls.  I was quietly confident and could not understand the confidence in the conservative camp.  I figured he should take most of the swing states including Colorado.  I thought Virginia was a toss up which Obama may squeak and that Romney would take Florida.

We had a potter around the town in the morning .  There is a nice little church in the centre of the town and we got attacked by some dogs on the streets.  Jessica and Cannelle ran off, even though I had told them that standing your ground was the best option.  We walked to the bus station and wanted a minibus to Tha Khaek.  The guy refused to even look at us and we were left with the bus as an option.  It was a super shit bus that took fucking ages to get to Tha Khaek.  Eventually we limped into town and walked in to get a hotel.  They still can't believe we are ok with walking.  As we are starting to reach a pretty high level of fitness, these strolls into town are not so difficult now.  The hotel had only BBC and not CNN or Fox.  Shit. Oh well British coverage of the election was better than nothing.  We ate in a local restaurant and discovered that our plan to go to the lagoon was not possible as the road was too rough for scooters.  I can't verify this and sadly I would have liked to have tried anyway.

New Orleans won.  Is it the continuation of a fight back to the play offs.  Given that we are on life support today against the New York Giants it would prove not to be.  We need to win out and get some help.  Not dead yet, but pretty much there.  We went to get some bicycles.  They had only one and wanted 30,000 when we knew it was 20,000.  Another lie.  Anyway they rustled up another two in a different location and after waiting a long time we went for a cycle East of town.  Only we didn't go East.  I accidentally made us cycle 3km South before I realised we were going in the wrong direction.  We visited some caves to begin with.  All of them are unremarkable, but its the route itself that is the attraction.  The scenery East of Tha Khaek on the first part The Loop is spectacular.  Probably the best we saw in all of Laos.  You have the towering limestone karsts either side of you on the route.  The little lake where you can swim is also really picturesque.  It was a little too cold for me to swim in, but Jessica and Cannelle had no problems.  We cycled all the way to the last cave, but they charged for entrance and even though the girls went in and said it was nice, I decided to sprint cycle back.  It was good to get some decent exercise and my knees only swelled a little after the accident.  Its a little like Hpa-An in Myanmar, only better.  It was the final day before the election and Obama was still ahead.  I had a feeling he was going to take this.

Election Day.  I just stayed in bed, only exiting briefly to get some breakfast.  It was over long before it began.  You knew when Georgia and South Carolina were not called immediately for the Republicans, when North Carolina is too close to call and when Pennsylvania and Michigan are immediately called for the Democrats that this was going to be a Democratic night.  It was infuriating watching the BBC commentary.  They had no idea what they were doing or seemingly not much about American poltiics in general.  My personal favourite was when the stupid woman showing the date added up all the possible Romney states before the final polls closed to show it was still theoretically possible and came up short.  She seemed really confused.  If she had realised that she had forgotten to colour in Idaho and Alaska for the Republicans (both bankers) then she would have crossed the line.  Embarassingly amateur.  Maybe I should apply for a job.  Still Obama won (even taking Florida) and that was quite comprehensive.  Waiting for Romney to realise he had been beaten was quite funny.  Seems the Manchurian candidate could not cross the line.  Lets hope the Republicans can get some of their impressive bench into position for 2016, especially if the Democrats makes the error of nominating Hillary.

The next day we were up really early to make a mental number of connections to see Kong Lo Cave in one day.  We walked to the bus station (after the moron working there, sleeping on his hands, had failed to tell us if a bus was running to the junction town the day before) and caught the bus at 5.30am to Vientiane.  We jumped off at the junction with Route 8 (I don't have the name here and google map is shit) and took a connecting bus to the town just north of Kong Lo.  From there you can get a truck to Kong Lo Cave.  Its a bit of a bitch and you have to get the 5.30am bus to make it, but it can be done.  Our only problem was when we arrived in the town North of Kong Lo.  There were no ATMs.  Fuck.  I hadn't thought about that and we did not have much money.  I was very worried we would not make it, but hopefully Jessica would have enough to lend us.  We climbed on the truck and there were two American guys.  They had watched the election as well and we chatted about politics and 2016.  They were going to do the cave and head back to the town, so its possible to even do that in one day and maybe get to Vientiane, but maybe that's too much of a stretch.  In the hotel we stayed in there was a French couple.  They had come to Kong Lo on a bus for 120,000 Kip.  Fuck me.  That's a lot.  Its why the Laotians hate us gypo travellers.  We went down to the river and took the tour.  Its not as cool as we had hoped, but it is worth it.  You take a little boat across the river and then walk into the cave.  From there you take a boat trip through the cave.  Don't bother renting the flashlights as they suck.  Bring your own high powered one if you want to see anything on your own.  They have a sweeping flashlight on the boat.  Halfway you get off and walk for around 10 minutes through the prettier parts of the cave.  Towards the end, when we could see the exit, we had to go up some rapids.  We disembarked for a bit and the boat attempted to ride the rapids.  It failed.  Water started to pour in and the boatman had to save the engine from flooding.  That would have been interesting.  Instead he just about rode it over and had to bail out all the water.  Comic tragedy averted, we carried on.  They had lost something.  We weren't sure what, but it seemed important.  We went for a walk to the village (average and they don't give a shit about you if you are not doing a homestay or buying beer) and then took the boat back.  On the way back we scoured the water for the missing object.  What was it?  How valuable it must be.  At last we found it.  What was it?  A fucking scoop made from a cut up petrol carton.  Fuck sake.  You could make a new one in 5 seconds and we had to spend 15 minutes searching for it.  Its not even a real scoop.  Back at the hotel a bus load of tourists came in on the super expensive bus.  What a waste of money.  We had to budget through the evening as we didn't really have enough money for food.

In the morning we grabbed the truck to the village for 20,000 if I remember right.  We then got told we need a bus to the junction.  That's bullshit (as usual), because there are buses that come in from the Vietnam border and pass through for Vientiane in the morning.  Having been told there are no buses, we walked to the main road and immediately two buses came round the corner.  One bus grabbed some of our bags and the other grabbed the others.  One was full of foreigners (and was the stupidly expensive bus), while the other was full of locals (coming from Vietnam).  No way was I getting on the foreigner bus, but I had to fight the guy with our bags to get them back.  Damn him.  We went to get on the bus and they wanted 60,000, but we haggled it down to 50,000.  So we were going to Vientiane for just over half of what the others were paying.  Idiot tourists who like to waste their money lol.  Anyway onwards to the capital at last.

Laos Part 1 (Si Phan Don, Pakse, Champasak and Dong Hua Sao National Park)

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Thailand Part 7 (Khon Kaen and Pha Taem National Park)

Hey ho.  This blog has been delayed by the stupidly shit, slow and expensive Laos internet, but its back and running now thanks to Vietnamese computers.

Anyway we arrived in the capital of Issan.  Its a funky little city and a nice place to chill out.  Especially if you have been away from civilisatiion a little too long.  We checked into a hotel and went straight to the Laos consulate.  One hour later and quite expensively we had a Laos visa.  A guy had a go at Cannelle, because he had asked her what the border town was called and she had said Pakse because we were heading in that direction, but he had wanted to go to Vientiane.  Bit moronic to have a go at someone for your lack of knowledge. We grabbed some burgers while we waited and they brought two waters.  We had only asked for one so they charged us for the ice (strangely the same price as a bottle of water).  We refused to pay as we hadn't ordered any. After we went to the cinema complex.  There we watched Alex Cross.  It was our first cinema of the trip and the film was  a bit shit and very badly acted.  Shame really.  We had wanted to watch the highly rated sci fi film, but it was only in Thai.  We ate dinner in a nice expat French restaurant where we got some decent steak.  The town seemed to be full of expats.  We were continuing to travel through areas of the country unvisited by tourists.  Spure drew that evening with Maribor.

The following day was a day to chill out and relax off the tourist trail.  We have to do that in a city every once in a while.  We had found a super supermarket the day before.  They had haribo, real cheese (cheddar) and even more unbelievably Walkers crisps.  You can get just about anything you could ever want from home in this supermarket.  We made a picnic up of stuff from home and took it to the disappointing lake in the middle of the city. After we grabbed a McDonalds and chilled out around some cool bars as I watched Arsenal sickeningly get a last minute equaliser.

After the day of rest we grabbed a bus to Ubon Ratchatani just in time to connect with the bus for Khong Jiam.  You need to get the bus from Khon Kaen by 8am if you want to guarantee the connection.  We got the 9am bus and made it by the skin of our teeth.  A long day of transport.  We met a French guy at the bus station and agreed to meet him for dinner the following day as he wanted to visit the national park by bicycle.  In the evening we went looking for the naga fireballs as it was that time of year (they are strange red lights that rise out of the Mekong).  We weren't to have any luck that night or the following one.

We grabbed a couple of motorcycles in the morning to head to the park.  It has five parts and we were determined to see as many of them as we could.  Jessica's had no wing mirror in what was maybe a precursor of what was to happen later.  Mine had no functioning speedometer again.  Fuck sake.  I have still never ridden a motorbike with one.  Maybe in Vietnam.  We were bouncing around a bit from some of the potholes on the road.  Generally its ok with a smooth road out to part one, but things become bumpier and more full of holes the further into the park you go.  Part one was where we came across the mushroom rocks.  They are orange and brown and carved from the weather.  They are really quite beautiful and the whole area is in a desert environment that reminded me of the South West of the United States.  Furthering the desert theme were the cliff top views over the Mekong and into Laos.  Around that area there is also a little trail that passes underneath the cliff overhang and passes four groups of cave paintings.  They are red and groups two and three are the most impressive.  I am not that into cave paintings, but they were quite cool.  The mushroom rocks were more interesting for me.  After that we walked back along the top of the cliff through the variety of shrubbery.  When we got back to the bike the Frenchman had arrived on his bicycle.  He was making good time.  We headed to part two of the park.  This area was a little different as we headed to the famous waterfall.  It is not huge, but it is very pretty.  At the base it has carved up little stone circles as the water carves little pools into the stone.  Its very, very pretty.  You can even scramble all the way up some of the waterfalls and come out at the field of flowers.  We gave up just before the top, but found out you could go all the way when we hiked round the top and saw the monks who had gone up just after us.  Evidently they had climbed all the way through the middle.  The field of flowers is a bit of an anticlimax, but worth the hike up the waterfall.  We grabbed a quick lunch and headed to part three of the park.  Cannelle started to feel a little sick at this point.  It was here that we realised the dry season was far less impressive than the wet.  There was the waterfall that cuts through the middle of a rock, which is unique and quite cool.  The other one by the strangled tree (which is cool) was barely a trickle.  They are not worth a grand trip, but if you have headed this way then they are worth a side trip.  Parts one and two were much better.  Cannelle was too sick to continue and so she went back with Jessica.  I decided to carry on to part four.  Cannelle was worried to leave me unless something bad happened.  I assured her she had nothing to worry about.  I set off on a suddenly lighter bike and was getting used to the speed (maybe hitting 80km/h).  I surged up to the halfway point of part four.  Its a pretty road, but then it stops.  Suddenly there is a car park and the route continues or doesn't.  Its a bumpy dirt track.  I tried to take the scooter down it (I think its just about possible, but you might damage it) but the speed was so slow and the light was fading.  My advice if you want to see this part is to take a scooter early and hike from there as it was 12-16km of trails over which you can't really take a bike.  Maybe a dirt bike, but it would be very bumpy.  I think you could benefit from two days in the park.  One to do what we did and a second to do some hiking off part four.  So after sitting in the car park for 10 minutes trying to see if I should gamble, I decided to head back.  I was trying to speed back to catch the girls and was making good progress.  I was still going a little fast for some potholes, but was feeling pretty confident.  Pride before a fall as they say.  I came on a pothole too fast, hit the brakes and I think the back slid a little, but the next minute I hit the hole and I was flying through the air, while the bike slid beneath me.  I don't really remember what happened, but I hit the road on my left shoulder first.  After a few rolls I got up thinking shit the bike must be fucked.  I had dropped it in the petrol station earlier, but believed I could have talked away and scratches.  Given that the wing mirror was about 5m from the bike, it was going to be difficult this time.  Strangely I was ok to carry on.  Not even too shaken.  Panic and adrenaline must have kicked in.  I was bleeding from both knees and my hand.  Never mind.  Had to get back.  I put the wing mirror back into the basket and set off for home (about 25km more).  I felt quite lucky for my first bike crash.  50% record lol.  In hindsight I think I may have cracked a rib (as sneezing was agony for a month), possibly fractured my foot (still hurts a little) and badly bruised both my knees.  Oh well.  I arrived and went to get Cannelle from an internet cafe, walking through the little town carrying the wing mirror in my hands.  I was worried about how much I would have to pay.  Fuck. It could be nearly 200 euros.  I had no idea.  I don't drive lol.  We tried to find a repair shop, but we couldn't so the woman said we could just pay her.  I braced myself.  2000 baht (40 quid).  Ok shit yes.  I took that.  Much less than I feared for a new wing mirror and the cracked chassis.  Cannelle cleaned me up with antiseptic and I limped out for dinner with the French guy and Jessica.  He had done parts one and two by bicycle.  A good effort.  The park is really cool.  One of the highlights of Thailand for us.

In the morning I woke up quite broken.  That would take a while to fix.  We got a shared taxi to the border for 400 baht.  Fractionally more expensive than two buses, but it was much more direct and avoided having to do any changes.  The French guy got his visa at the border and it was fractionally more than what we had paid in Khon Kaen.  That worked out well.  Laos here we come....

Thailand Part 6 (Um Phang, Phitsanulok and Phu Kradeung)

We had been told by a woman to come for the minibus at 8.30am the next day.  I had seen that there was a bus to Mae Sot at around 8.15am.  I was wrong.  The price on the wall said for 125 baht, but the woman charged us 157 baht for Mae Sot and I thought we had been done.  It turns out that the minivan arrives at around 9am, but I would double check this as it varies and you really need the first one to hit your connections.  Also the price of 157 baht is the price from Phitsanulok to Mae Sot, but you have to pay the full price to guarantee yourself a seat.  Annoying.  So we got to the bus station at around 7.50am and had to wait for more than an hour.  The ride to Mae Sot is quite pretty, winding its way through the mountains.  Mae Sot itself is effectively Myanmar.  Everything was the same.  Most of the people are Burmese, the food is even the same.  Could not find any blue mountain though sadly.  It was interesting for Jessica and made her feel like she didn't want to visit Myanmar.  Its a typical border town and we had to do lots of walking to find the truck to Umphang.  Its where Lonely Planet says it is, but its confusing as if you walk down the main road, LP says its on a crossroads when in fact its only a right turn.  The trucks don't run to the timetable so you want to get here as early as possible to get a truck.  We got one at 2pm and there was an almighty scrum to get on the truck.  They even had to pull the truck away from the melee.  LP talks about the road between Mae Sot and Umphang being a death highway.  That's not really true.  Its not really dangerous at all.  Its just a fairly safe, paved, winding road through some beautiful mountain scenery.  There is one bend before the middle that is not properly covered, but that's it.  The trucks are fairly packed in, but if you push hard you can get a seat.  Unlike locals, you probably won't have to sit on the roof.  There were a lot of people on the truck.  This road was nothing compared to the scariest road I have taken a bus on.  The road to Kuelap in Peru.  Fuck me that's awful.  The width of a bus and no more, its a dirt track with no barriers.  Halfway there is the refugee village, which is impressively constructed up on the hill.  We arrived after dark, but did the worst of the road in the light.  With all the stops and pick ups, including rearranging the passengers, it took 5 hours and we arrived around 7pm.  It was like descending into another road, with loads of these weird hybrid tractor/trailers.  The truck dropped us off at Trekker Hill, which from reading other blogs was probably a good thing.  We paid 300 baht for three of us to share a two bed place.  Quite nice as it was up on its own raised wooden platform and despite being open we had mosquito nets.  There is no hot water, however, as the pipe was broken.  There is supposed to be some.  The old guy wanted us to take a 3 day tour including elephant trekking for 4000 baht.  We didn't want the elephant trekking so asked how much it was without that and he said it was the same as the truck would have to collect us.  As there is not much information I will elaborate on the tour option.  Day one is rafting to the waterfall and see it.  Day two is trekking around and then staying in a Karen village.  Day three is to observe the village and then elephant trek back.  We wanted just Days one and two and apparently that's around 2,000 but he wanted 4,000. The three days should be 3,000.  Go and see the German guys in the foreign restaurant in the centre of town if you want the longer options (should be easy to find).  In the end we asked him how much it would be for one day with rafting and the waterfall.  He said 1,000 baht but you pay for the park entrance (200 baht) and food (we ate noodles for around 20 baht at the park).  This seemed fine to us and there were three of us.  They say its rushed, but its enough time.  You start at 8am and are back around 4pm.  I would even say its the best option as trekking is difficult as you would need to stay at the park and hire a guide for 500 baht a day (not verified).  You can't take your own transport up to the park unless you have a 4WD and having done the trail by truck and almost getting stuck, I don't think a car would have enough clearance.  A motorbike could do it, but apparently you can't take them up.  We met a Dutch guy who had gone to the waterfall and back for 1500 baht for the two of them.  We were quoted 1850 for the truck and its why we decided to do the rafting as well for only 400 baht each more.  After the negotiation we found the German place and Cannelle had schnitzels.  There were no other tourists in town, but there were two big groups of NGO workers as they had a holiday in Thailand.  Cannelle went to the toilet and came back screaming as a monkey had leapt at her in the dark.  It turns out it was the pet of the German owners.

We got up and had breakfast before heading for the rafting.  It was super chilled here, because the hotel owner's kids joined us on the raft.  We had three guides with us and it turns out we won't actually be rafting. We thought it would be some white water rafting, but its actually 2-3 hours down a beautiful river, surrounded by cliffs and waterfalls.  It bears a passing resemblance to Avatar and has an other worldly feel.  It was cool to kick back and chill and enjoy the scenery.  I like a balance with my rafting between sport and scenery, but the two times we have rafted in Thailand have been one extreme or the other.  You will see lots of cliffs and overhangs dripping with streams and waterfalls, including a waterfall with a permanent rainbow through its centre.  Halfway they drop you off at a hot spring, which is just a muddy channel.  The water is nice and warm, but if you step into it the mud comes up to your knee.  Its not for everyone.  I liked it, Cannelle was ok with it and Jessica did not like it.  The second half of the rafting is less scenic, but still pleasant.  At one point the seven year old hyper son of our hotel owner fell in the river.  Luckily they managed to fish him out again.  We got picked up by our host and taken up to the waterfall on an hour long drive up a rough, dusty, scenic trail.  We had been told the day before that a public bus goes to the waterfall.  That's total bullshit, so I wouldn't try it unless you want a 70km round trip walk for the rest of the way.  We finally arrived at the top and grabbed some noodles.  Its where we met the old Dutch guy, who told us the waterfall was beautiful but that he had seen a better one in Vietnam.  Finally a traveller who told me something I didn't already know.  Only took 6 weeks.  He may be right as well, but only because it seems to have a clearer line of sight.  We walked the trail to the waterfall.  Its quite a nice trail to Thi Lo Su Waterfall, which reminded me a little bit of Plitvice.  The waterfall itself is spectacular and worth the trip.  The setting is beautiful with seemingly hundreds of cascades crashing down from multiple places.  The only problem is the jungle scenery itself.  It obscures a lot of the waterfall and you can't really get a full impression.  It would probably help if the viewing platform was on the other side of the river.  There are also lots of annoying insects at the falls.  We took the truck back down the dusty road and we all looked like we had aged with our dust grayed hair and dust all over our clothes.  Fun trip though.  In the evening we got lost at the internet cafes as we got confused as to where each other was.  They had had a delivery of mushrooms at the German place so we all had schnitzels with mushroom sauce.  Highly recommended.  This is a super cool place to visit and completely without tourists.  Well foreign ones.  There are a lot of Thai tourists.  We have been spending a lot of time in Thai places this last week.  Back in the room, a giant grasshopper (I mean giant) crashed into our room and got stuck there for the night before escaping in the morning.  Jessica reckons that in Thailand all the insects are the same as home, but 2 or 3 times bigger.

We grabbed the morning truck at 7.30am back to Mae Sot.  Cannelle was less scared of the route the second time.  We had an old guy who was hugging Jessica halfway, while a woman slept on her shoulder.  Halfway through the ride the old man grabbed and stroked my knee.  Still not really sure what he was doing there.  Two people were vomiting on the ride.  It is a little motion sickness inducing and that's more likely to get you than a crash.  We grabbed a cheap lunch and ended up taking the last minibus to Phitsanulok which was at around 1.30pm I think.  Be careful.  There is nothing after that, so make sure you take the first truck if you want to get out of Umphang and back East.  These trucks will hang around for ages waiting for passengers.  We were all tired and when we arrived in town Cannelle found us a local hotel just outside the bus station.  I would recommend the place as its 200 for a single and 250 for a double with hot water and cable tv.  Just ehad to the main road, go left and its about 50-100m on the left hand side.  We had a KFC for dinner and headed to the river, where they had a little festival with fireworks.  Phitsanulok was a nice little city around the river.  I can see why tour groups use it as a base.  Its nicer than Sukhotai and Kamphaeng Phet.  We went to the riverside massage place, but it was derelict and shut.  Cannelle and I had a mini fight and I went back to the hotel.  Jessica and her went for a drink.  I was a little worried about her being out in the city, but Thailand is super safe and they made it back fine.

In the morning we grabbed a bus towards Khon Kaen to see the famed green route.  Its nice and pleasant scenery, but you really should do it by motorbike if you want to see anything.  By bus its just ok.  We swithced buses at Champhae.  The bus station was confused when we asked for tickets to there as they assumed we wanted Chiang Mai.  We were really continuing our off route wanders.  We grabbed a bus to Phu Kradeung and they dropped us off at a shitty junction on a highway.  This was Phu Kradeung?  Ok they were fucking with us.  Here is some useful information for the town.  Firstly that's not the main bus station and that's why no locals get off.  They tried to hustle us into taking a truck privately to the park for 200 baht.  I went for a walk, so they offered 150 baht and tried to get Cannelle and Jessica to leave without me.  I walked left.  Nothing.  I headed right and they told me to come back.  Why?  Because on the other side of the road is the damn town.  There is internet and restaurants etc.  Fuckers.  There is no point heading to the park in the evening as there is almost fuck all there and certainly no internet and only tents or expensive bungalows.  I persuaded the others to come to town and while I was looking round an English teacher found Cannelle and Jessica and offered to take us to her friend's guesthouse.  This is the better option.  Its about 1-2 km towards the park on the right hand side.  Here you can have a fan room for 300 and air con for 400, but we negotiated down to 350 for the aircon rooms.  Its a nice place and they will look after your big bags for you, so you don't have to pay for the porters.  They also got us a tuk tuk at 6.45am for 80 baht straight to the park.  Its a no brainer for me.  Especially now that the porters charge 30 baht per kilo to carry your stuff up.  We grabbed some food at the cool night market in town, used the internet and repacked our bags to leave most of the stuff in the big one.  The people were really nice here as the English teacher had taken us one by one to the hotel by motorbike for free, continuing our run of hitchhiking without hitchhiking.

We got the tuk tuk in the morning to the park.  You pay 400 baht entrance and 225 for a three person tent.  You pay at the bottom.  At the top its 30 baht for a sleeping bag (necessary just), 30 baht for a mat (the floor is not too bumpy but get one if you are sensitive.  Cannelle and I were fine without one, but Jessica did not sleep well). You can also pay for a pillow etc, but we just got the sleeping bag.  Its a long climb to the top and I was feeling sick.  Not a good start.  Everything gets steadily more expensive as you climb up so get all the water you need at the bottom.  A 14 baht water in a 7/11 becomes 50 baht at the summit for example.  The walk is really nice as you climb through various different ecosystems.  Its tough though.  Especially the first 800m and the last 1km.  It took us 2.5 hours not the 3-4 LP reckons, but we have always been fast.  We blitzed the Thai hikers, but I think they normally take all day to do it.  We saw a crab that was super defensive and a large multicoloured millipede that scared the porters, so I assume it was poisonous.  At the top its another 3.5 km to the visitor centre.  We saw a lot of deer at the visitor centre as they are fed there.  We took the 5.5km waterfall trail.  Its quite scenic, with the first half overlooking the valley and the second half in the trees and down by the water.  The waterfalls themselves are nothing special, but its nice. The scenery is very reminiscent of home, so not too exotic for us, but good for anyone who's a little homesick and wants some trees other than jungle.  It warns you that after 3pm it is dangerous to enter this trail as the wild elephants patrolled the area.  We saw plenty of evidence of elephants (footprints, tusk marks, shit) but never any elephants, but be warned about the time limit.  Cannelle was scared all the way round that we would bump into some.  After the waterfall, we hiked to the pond and then to the cliffs and back around.  All in all we did around 25-30 km including the 1 km climb up.  Good work.  My legs ache a little today.  The food at the top is super shitty and very expensive, but you can't have everything.  Bring some stuff with you.  In the evening we ate more shit food and Jessica got whacked by one of the deer's antlers as he wanted some of our food and came in really close.  I am not sure if he was hitting her on purpose or accident.  We were in bed by 6pm as there is nothing to do up there, but it was worth the trip and a good bit of exercise.  The night was quite good for sleep.

In the morning we were up at 6.30am as we passed on seeing the sunrise.  On the way down we took 1.5 hours and saw some monkeys playing on the rocks up above me.  Second time for wild monkeys on this trip.  Still no elephants though.  We were by far the quickest people down the mountain.  The park HQ phoned for a truck for us and luckily it wasn't from the annoying bitches at the crossroads.  It cost us 100 baht to the 7/11 including a stop off to grab our bags from the hotel so don't pay anything more than 100 as that was called by the park.  We waited outside the 7/11 (the real bus stop) and grabbed a bus to Khon Kaen at only 9.30am.  It was 94 baht and not 75 like LP suggested.  I wanted to argue the toss but was outvoted.  On to Khon Kaen, where I am writing now and there were only 4 nights left before Laos.  I was enjoying being off the tourist trail.  We had not seen another tourist (we had seen expats) since Sukhotai.