Hmm San Pedro de Atacama is a small desert oasis. Its one of those ultra touristy places that is still cool (like Banos and Monteverde). Very adobe. Kind of like a tiny Santa Fe without the nightlife and Santa Fe does not even have great nightlife. San Pedro however is dead. Really dead. I waited for Enzo and Rene in the main square. They only have two ATMs in town and one does not take visa so I had to trek out to the edge of town (All 200m) to uee the other one. One of the locals called me gringo. Oh well. Nevermind. I knew immediately that Chile was going to be better than Bolivia. We took a tour out to Valle de Luna as we did not have much time. The guys had to be in Peru for new year so we would move fast. The tour is actually pretty cool. We walked through the Valley of Death (which is like a mini Death Valley). Comparing the hottest to the driest place is to say they are similar. Atacama is probably prettier though. We went to some salt mines and saw some statues. Then we left the vehicles and went hiking along a ridge line to get sunset. Really cool. Was very impressive. Huge sand dunes had piled up amongst the mountains and the view from the top was spectacular as the colours changed with the ever fading light. Well worth the visit. Got blasted by the sun again and would do the following day as well. Need new skin. Came back to San Pedro and it was dead. Went to the square and played with some dogs. They were too hungry though and tried to eat my arms. Mental. Enzo went to sleep as the place was dead. Rene and I went wandering and were told there was a festival in the desert that night. Chatted with some local girls and they weren't going but said there weren't many people in town. I thought they meant locals for christmas as it was the 23rd, but they must have meant foreigners. This party is just for foreigners and a bit shit. We took a jeep out into the desert and they had a sound system and drinks. Don't know if drinks are expensive as I don't drink. Latin America and noone was dancing. Damn foreigners lol. It was a total sausage fest. Met some cool Belgian dudes and spent most of the night chatting with them. Was a bit of a waste of time. Asked one local woman where the locals were and she said they were boring and she preferred Germans and did we want some weed. Nope not really thanks and after that boring party and having visited a Chilean nightclubn here in Iquique, I would say its the foreigners who are dull. There was even an English guy who had lived in Lima for 5 months and did not speak Spanish. How the fuck is that even possible. You have to try to achieve that. There were the 3 Charlie Chaplins as well. Locals who were always hanging together, but never actually said a word all night long.
We grabbed breakfast and I got my change from the hotel as they had not had any the night before. Then we went to Calama. Being christmas eve it was not possible to tour the copper mines which was a shame. Damn christmas lol. So we decided to go straight to Iquique. The eggs from breakfast came back to haunt me. Slept a lot on the buses. The hostel was full so they sent us to another place. That had a dead rat on the doorstep so we opted for another place just across from Beach Hostel. Its not really open yet and has no sign but is cheap enough. We took the cheap room with no deep mattresses, no private bathroom and no tv. The owner said we were soldiers. Hardly. Just not pampered pussies. Iquique is a really pretty city on the Pacific coast with the cliffs overlooking the town. I like it here. Could live here for a bit. I love the ocean and never lived anywhere with it. Suppose that will change with BA sortof. They have a clock tower in the middle of the town and a Georgian promenade with old wooden trams that sadly aren't running anymore. We went walking around and met some tramps on the beach. We thought they were travellers, but they weren't. Had a fun time with them for a bit. Rene and Enzo always take loads of video diaries of their trips, which is cool as its like having a mini film. There were a bunch of people using the gym on the beach at midnight. Why they weren't with their families I don't know. The whole town was dead though, because the 24th is christmas here. Shame. We would never actually get to sample Chilean nightlife together. We ended up with rogue dog companions and eventually settled into a bar on the waterfront and got chatting with the barmaids. Noone showed up though and Enzo ended up paying $7 for an orange juice. This is not a cheap country. Really cool place though. In three days I have already done more interesting things than two weeks in Bolivia. Though admittedly I missed most of the famous tours there. Two consecutive dead nights. They also use European plug sockets in Chile. I think it is because in reality Chile is more European than South American. They can dance electronica, they use European plugs, apparently everyone is loyal and they like spicey food. They break all the stereotypes for this continent.
CHRISTMAS DAY. Well for the English anyway. The guys went and bought their bus tickets to leave at 2.30am. Not sure why they wanted to leave at that ungodly hour for the frontier. Then again I have an overnighter to Antofagasta tonight. Expensive the buses here. Well its expensive for everything so I won't mention that again. Its like Brazil. A taxi driver offered to take us to Humberstone for 40,000 Pesos ($75) with a wait of one hour. Ridiculous. You can get a bus for 2,000 each way from the market and we stayed there 4 hours so you need time. We got to the bus station at 10.55am and the last bus that day was 11am. The guys still needed to check out so they ran back to complete that while I stalled the bus. They came running back just in time and we set off for about a 45 minute journey. Humberstone is a UNESCO ghost town that used to be a nitrate mining community and is the ultimate children's playground. Awesome place as well. I had been to mining ghost towns in the States with about 10 buildings etc. This place must have had about 200, a swimming pool, basketball court, hotel and theatre. All deserted and all ready to be explored. We found one building with Rene 1986 on it, which is Rene's date of birth. We joked it was his house and where was the key. The dentist's house had Brazil scrawled on it so it must have been his relatives. You clan clamber around the pool and climb the old water tanks, fart about on the trains and we even filmed and Irish dancing performance in the theatre. There is so much to explor. Then at the far end is the actual smelting factory and all of the workplaces for the town. Rusting trains, heavy duty machinery and rusting corregated iron. This place is worth a visit. Santa Laura, the other location, is sort of more of the same, but the rolling wooden plant is great to descend into. There are much more interesting things to see in Chile than most of the other countries seemingly and I did not even have enough time to visit Pica here. We were knackered after 4 hours out there in the desert and we could not grab a ift back. After an hour we stopped a taxi and we managed to get the ride for 6,000 pesos in total. Nice. Same as the bus. We were sitting in a cafe when we bumped into some hostel owners whop invited us to a fiesta. Met two groups of French people that day who thought it was weird that I spoke Spanish when I am English lol. Its getting pretty good now. Can live in just Spanish easily. My face looked like gothic make up after the burns. I saw the guys to the bus station and then nearly shit myself walking home. Grabbed my mp3 player and went for an hour long walk on the beach. Good times.
I woke up at 1.30pm as I don't have an alarm and have no concept of time. Missed the Spurs game, but we got a decent 0-0 draw away to Fulham. Villa lost to Arsenal, but Liverpool and Man City won. Need to beat West Ham tomorrow. I finally bought some long needed socks and then met Rocio in the afternoon for drinks. I was going to go to Arica to meet the girls I had met in Arequipa, but had no solid contact details so did not go in the end. We went for a walk along the coast and got really good seafood empanadas. Not sure which seafood, but a type of shellfish. Maybe conch. We saw the caimans and they had a show of sealions for free. Then we went to her house and met her friends. They leave for clubs at about 1am in Chile as everyone drinks in the clubs, so not anticipating finding many great bars in town. There are some stunning girls in this town and everyone dances to electronica and can dance to electronica. Night life was thumping. We went to a club and one of the girls managed to get me in for free, which was nice as entrance was $10. I don't drink so I paid nothing in the end. Chileans tend to dance in lines facing each other, which is a little odd, but groups of guys go in search of groups of girls with the same number of people. I ended up pulling Rocio's friend Paula and we had a fun time dancing. Was great to be in a place with good music again. Also I was at ground level. After so much time in the mountains my energy levelw as immense and the dancing not even remotely tiring. I can see how athletes have advantages with this. I came back in the car listening to Snoop and Dre (so different to other countries here). I then went for another walk by the sea. I love the coast, just not enamoured by beaches. Chile looks like it will have banging nightlife and should be awesome. Even the French were telling me how great the fish sandwiches are in Coquimbo. Will have to eat one. French recommendations for food with praise are rare praise indeed from the master culinary nation.
Today I got up and Rocio was busy. Was going to go to Pica but did not have enough time. I went walking down the coast and then bought mu bus ticket. Decided to catch up on my writing while I waited for the bus. Went walking down to the duty free zone in the north. So many pretty, multicoloured buildings. It realy is a nice town. They pay reasonably well for teaching as well. Maybe I will come and live in Chile at some point. Really liking this country already and so much still to see. Oh well. Lets get this bus and start off on the long journey south. Will finally catch up with Lucciana.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Bolivia Part 4: Salar de Uyuni
Apt I should be writing about this as I peel the last of the dead skin from my lips to reveal a brand spanking set. The sun's a little stronger than I anticipated down there. Though why I did not anticipate strong sun in summer, in the driest place in the world is a mystery to everyone, myself included. I said I did not expect anything else of note to happen and it didn't. Apart from a desperate scramble to not eat chicken. Fuck they love their fried chicken in Bolivia. It must be the national dish and the national motto is probably 'that will be 15 Bolivianos please.' Their propensity to rip people off and make you eat chicken was so legendary that the Brazilians with whom I travelled across Uyuni would constantly make that joke. Its an onrunner that carries on to this day and will probably be resurrected in Sao Paolo and Rio. Anyway all the restaurants in Oruro were shut. Presumably because Bolivians only need to eat on six days of the week and this super power enables them to starve foreigners on a sunday. After about 40 minutes of searching I finally found some generous soul to give me salchipapas (very unoriginal, but at least it was not chicken). I took the train. Ah trains make me miss Europe. One of the first times. They are so much better than buses. Why do buses even exist? Dirty, smelly, shit traps. Ah the keyboard is eating my letters again. Have to be careful I don't make mistakes. Leg room, relaxation and great trailers. Oooh a good film. Not quite. My sister's keeper. Not bad though. Then we got the Manchurian Candidate. Made me remember Boston as I saw it there, when my dad would not watch it with me as he did not want to go back to our hotel in Roxbury at night. Its a better neighbourhood than most Bostonians think. How did the Saints lose 20-17 to the fucking Buccaneers today. Oh well. Let's see how we do in the postseason. Hopefully Chicago do us a favour monday. For the postseason will have to find some bars and do Hunter S Thompson betting to fund my budget for Chile. Expensive country this one. Some religious group was on the train with me. They all lit candles to pray before we left. Mental cases. They were praying for a safe passage, but the biggest danger was them setting fire to the train. They don't think much in these countries. I wanted to get bin and hopefully get a tour the next day as I had had enough of Bolivia. The similarities with Nicaragua of being a nice place with fuck all to do and very cheap are many. Also the moving into a better country afterwards (Costa Rica and Chile respectively) and realising how bored I was before and how much better despite being expensive these countries are. Nicaragua and Bolivia are officially very dull. Costa Rica and Chile both rock. 'Everybody Dance Now.' Yeah this is a rhythm for writing. I arrived in Uyuni. Its very cold and small and nothing is open at 2am. After doing some Joseph biblical wanderings I found a place to stay the night and get a tour in the morning. It had no light (really it did, I was just too stupid to work out how to turn it on until too late).
I overslept as I ignored my alarm because there was no light outside so it could not have been late enough. Not sure where my thinking was. There was no light because there were no windows and how can the alarm go off early. Nevermind. The brain does not always work at full speed. I chatted with a tour company and paid 550 Bolivianos (Hd no bargaining power and that was to include the transfer to Chile. Yeah of course it was. Fuck these little lying fuckholes). Can't see myself ever bothering to go back to Peru or Bolivia. Maybe I may cross to Arequipa if in Chile. As for Ecuador. They are lucky they have the Galapagos to make me have to go back once again, though I would probably nip to Cuenca. Except for those places, these countries are effectively useless shitholes. Had to pay 21 Bolivianos to exit the country. Good job they don't put it on entrance. I pity the Yanks having to pay $130 to enter mighty Bolivia. Money not well spent. Although the people are better than Peru (except the north) and Ecuador. They know you will want to pay to exit. I got breakfast. At last good bread. Where were they hiding this stuff? Chile, probably. I was grouped with three Israelis. Seemed like a nice bunch. They went to get breakfast and the slavery chattel market kicked in again. I was instead sold to a group of Brazilians for 2 lies, 15 Bolivianos and a Pollo. Fuck me 106 year TD return for Jets on Colts. End their perfect record and appease my jealousy. Hmm a rare tour I get to (have to) practice my Spanish as my group did not speak English. Nice bunch. Portuguese is easier to understand from the south of Brazil and I could make out about 40% of what they were saying, but when we spoke together it was in Spanish. Enzo (guy from Rio) taught me how to samba in the middle of Uyuni. Class. Others were taking the obligatory on top of a bottle photo or other such nonsense. I was learning samba lol. First stop was the train graveyard. Not a bad little place. Loads of junked, rusting trains on the edge of town. All the tours were going the same way and to the same places, so we were like a military convoy. I left the main body and went to chat with some local kids who use the train yard for playing. Bit dangerous maybe, but also what a cool playground if you were a kid. Me and my sister would have loved it. We had a half hour stop to look at local artesanal craft (or the latest shit they have knocked out of a factory to pass off as hand made). Makes me laugh how so many hand made crafts are meticulously identical and how these hours of labour manage to generate enough goods to seel all over the country, as you see the same old shit everywhere. They are as hand made and original as I am blonde and short. I spend half an hour drinking a fruit juice. Then I was told we had to pay 30 Bolivianos for a national park that noone had told me. Fuckers. I did not have enough Bolivianos, so would end up borrowing from Enzo. The Brazilians told me that Rio carnival was for only tourists (ver Ingles, which I knew), but also that Salvador was as well (which I did not know). Apparently around Recife is the best place. Hmm. I'll trust them. They live there. After this tour with the Brazilians I have more or less decided I will live in Brazil and work before going to New Zealand. Though I like Chile as well. Need to learn Portuguese first though. We visited Ojos de Sal which was not bad. Then we went to Isla del Pescado. Fucking spectacular. You have to climb this place. Superb. They wanted 15 Bolivianos (what else) to climb the hill. Yet they are retards. There is a way up and another pass down. Now what would you do if you wanted people to pay? Put only people on the route up and leave the route down unguarded? Excellent. If you answered yes, you are as stupid as the people on Isla Del Pescado. So the route down in unguarded. What would you do? We just did not bother paying and went up that way. If you are going to rob someone, at least do it properly. So we climbed up to the top for free and the view is superb. Its like a white sea in every direction. Truly unique from what I have seen so far, though Franny informs me they have them in Tunisia as well. That's the problem with travelling a lot. You compare everything and if you have seen the best, everything else is rubbish. Jaded is the right word for it. Still the new stuff is top class. Salar de Uyuni itself is top class. We were travelling in a Toyota. One class up from the Highlander, but I was still fondly remembering the US road trip. Transport nostalgia all over this trip. Ah one thing completely unrelated. People say how Avatar the film is an analogy of the Iraq War etc. Idiots. Its clearly and very obviously a take on America's colonisation by the English. Similarities are too striking. We went to some blocks of salt. Yep a bnunch of blocks. There are a lot of stops at pointless places to to pad out the tour itinerary to make it seem you will be seeing more. There was a big block saying don't touch anything (and a load of others spelling Kiwi, showing a Jewish candelabra and saying fea to demonstrate people were paying attention to the big block). We got to visit the 'illegal' salt hotel, which is quite cool. The seats are very uncomfortable but the statues inside are cool. They want 5 (not 15) Bolivianos for the toilet. I reckon someone should shit on the doorstep of the toilet. Will thye then let people use it for free. Might persuade them. People should never have to pay for a damn toilet. Then again they don't even have them on buses in Bolivia. We arrived in the little town and found a local kid with a football to play. Marcelo. He supports Chile. Oh well. They are better than Bolivia. Playing football with Brazilians was cool and I took goalkeeping duties. We went hunting for computers that night with Enzo and Rene, but we had no luck. Enzo is actually on a mission to sleep with a woman from every country in the World and has 20 so far. If he makes it, he wants to write a book. Interesting concept. More juicy than mine lol.
Hmm plum jam. My favourite. Don't think I had any though. We got up early to go to a rocky outcrop to see a volcano. Excellent. That was worth getting up at 6am for. If you can't detect the sarcasm, its there. We had a lot of 70s and 80s music which they love in Uyuni. They had AC/DC 'Back in Black' and we were in a convoy of SUVs in the desert. Ironman moment. I cranked it up and that was a cool little vista. I decided for the road trip across Europe I want to buy a giant bus and decorate and paint it before driving all over Europe on a cool little road trip. There were a lot of lakes filled with flamingos. Was nice to see. Saw some vicunas. We went out over some rocky outcrops and saw some green stuff on rocks. There would be a stop later just to see this 'unique' green stuff. They said it only grows there. Bullshit. I had seen it and touched it in the morning. Hmm was an Aussie with a cute arse. We saw the mountains of many colours. They were quite cool. Very Bryce Canyonesque. Deserts are lifeless places. Makes me like them as much as beaches. Actually I prefer deserts. We then went to the Valley of the Rocks. That's a funky place. Lots of rocks carved up into different shapes. Wandered around there a bit. By this point I had been incinerated by the sun, for which I am just recovering, so I had to wear a towel on my head all day to limit further damage. We arrived at the Lake of Colours to stay the night. Was red from minerals blown into it and so windy it was unbelievable. It was like walking in a wind tunnel. It whipped gravel into your eyes and kept slapping you with a constant barrage. So damn cold. There was a fair bit of fitness in this hotel. Also the Israelis were here. They asked what happened and I explained I was kidnapped. Everyone drank a lot of wine, but me and two of the Brazilians did not drink so the others got a little hammered and we all played an Israeli game of Uno. One of the Israeli girls had had a Colombian boyfriend so we were reminiscing about Colombia etc. I went to sleep eventually listening to people talking shit about stuff they do not know about. Usual travel stuff.
In the morning we got up at 4am to go and see some geysers. They weren't bad, but again after Yellowstone they were a bit shat. Not sure why so many travellers don't want to go to the US. They truly do have some of the most spectacular national parks out there. It was fucking cold out there as well. I have just realised I have no real cold weather clothes and no real warm weather ones either. I have generic middle temperature clothes. Useless. We went to some thermal baths and they were luke warm but welcome after having to suffer through lack of showers. Second place did not have them. First place you had to pay 10 Bolivianos. In the thermal baths Enzo intorduced me to two Brazilian girls from his home town and we all did this weird Brazilian humping dance in the thermals on film. Brazilians are class to travel with. We then demonstrated English bump and grind, before some samba in the pool. I think the others thought we were nuts. We visited Laguna Verde. That's a really pretty lake. Kind of like the five coloured lakes near Comitan in Mexico. Afterwards they drove us to the border and we said goodbye to three of the Brazilians. The included transfer was not included. It was Ripley Tours by the way. So avoid them and if you end up in Uyuni go and complain to them for me so they know how shit they are and that their actions have consequences. The guy did not check tickets until we were about to leave. Then he realised I did not really have one. Great. i had to move buses but he promised me a seat on the other one. Then I got off and got on the other bus and he told me there was no space. Lying little shit. I called him a liar and he said I could not use his bus. Stupid little fucker. He said for my own security I should use the third bus. Hijo de puta. My security. He was 3 foot nothing. I was dreaming of breaking his nose on the van and wondering if the jurisdiction would not cross the border, but then again a border was not the best place to pick a fight. Little shit. At least he lost money and the other bus was much faster at crossing the border. I hope something awful happens to him. Oh well. Farewell and fuck off Bolivia and your lying bastard tour operators. Onwards to Chile.
I overslept as I ignored my alarm because there was no light outside so it could not have been late enough. Not sure where my thinking was. There was no light because there were no windows and how can the alarm go off early. Nevermind. The brain does not always work at full speed. I chatted with a tour company and paid 550 Bolivianos (Hd no bargaining power and that was to include the transfer to Chile. Yeah of course it was. Fuck these little lying fuckholes). Can't see myself ever bothering to go back to Peru or Bolivia. Maybe I may cross to Arequipa if in Chile. As for Ecuador. They are lucky they have the Galapagos to make me have to go back once again, though I would probably nip to Cuenca. Except for those places, these countries are effectively useless shitholes. Had to pay 21 Bolivianos to exit the country. Good job they don't put it on entrance. I pity the Yanks having to pay $130 to enter mighty Bolivia. Money not well spent. Although the people are better than Peru (except the north) and Ecuador. They know you will want to pay to exit. I got breakfast. At last good bread. Where were they hiding this stuff? Chile, probably. I was grouped with three Israelis. Seemed like a nice bunch. They went to get breakfast and the slavery chattel market kicked in again. I was instead sold to a group of Brazilians for 2 lies, 15 Bolivianos and a Pollo. Fuck me 106 year TD return for Jets on Colts. End their perfect record and appease my jealousy. Hmm a rare tour I get to (have to) practice my Spanish as my group did not speak English. Nice bunch. Portuguese is easier to understand from the south of Brazil and I could make out about 40% of what they were saying, but when we spoke together it was in Spanish. Enzo (guy from Rio) taught me how to samba in the middle of Uyuni. Class. Others were taking the obligatory on top of a bottle photo or other such nonsense. I was learning samba lol. First stop was the train graveyard. Not a bad little place. Loads of junked, rusting trains on the edge of town. All the tours were going the same way and to the same places, so we were like a military convoy. I left the main body and went to chat with some local kids who use the train yard for playing. Bit dangerous maybe, but also what a cool playground if you were a kid. Me and my sister would have loved it. We had a half hour stop to look at local artesanal craft (or the latest shit they have knocked out of a factory to pass off as hand made). Makes me laugh how so many hand made crafts are meticulously identical and how these hours of labour manage to generate enough goods to seel all over the country, as you see the same old shit everywhere. They are as hand made and original as I am blonde and short. I spend half an hour drinking a fruit juice. Then I was told we had to pay 30 Bolivianos for a national park that noone had told me. Fuckers. I did not have enough Bolivianos, so would end up borrowing from Enzo. The Brazilians told me that Rio carnival was for only tourists (ver Ingles, which I knew), but also that Salvador was as well (which I did not know). Apparently around Recife is the best place. Hmm. I'll trust them. They live there. After this tour with the Brazilians I have more or less decided I will live in Brazil and work before going to New Zealand. Though I like Chile as well. Need to learn Portuguese first though. We visited Ojos de Sal which was not bad. Then we went to Isla del Pescado. Fucking spectacular. You have to climb this place. Superb. They wanted 15 Bolivianos (what else) to climb the hill. Yet they are retards. There is a way up and another pass down. Now what would you do if you wanted people to pay? Put only people on the route up and leave the route down unguarded? Excellent. If you answered yes, you are as stupid as the people on Isla Del Pescado. So the route down in unguarded. What would you do? We just did not bother paying and went up that way. If you are going to rob someone, at least do it properly. So we climbed up to the top for free and the view is superb. Its like a white sea in every direction. Truly unique from what I have seen so far, though Franny informs me they have them in Tunisia as well. That's the problem with travelling a lot. You compare everything and if you have seen the best, everything else is rubbish. Jaded is the right word for it. Still the new stuff is top class. Salar de Uyuni itself is top class. We were travelling in a Toyota. One class up from the Highlander, but I was still fondly remembering the US road trip. Transport nostalgia all over this trip. Ah one thing completely unrelated. People say how Avatar the film is an analogy of the Iraq War etc. Idiots. Its clearly and very obviously a take on America's colonisation by the English. Similarities are too striking. We went to some blocks of salt. Yep a bnunch of blocks. There are a lot of stops at pointless places to to pad out the tour itinerary to make it seem you will be seeing more. There was a big block saying don't touch anything (and a load of others spelling Kiwi, showing a Jewish candelabra and saying fea to demonstrate people were paying attention to the big block). We got to visit the 'illegal' salt hotel, which is quite cool. The seats are very uncomfortable but the statues inside are cool. They want 5 (not 15) Bolivianos for the toilet. I reckon someone should shit on the doorstep of the toilet. Will thye then let people use it for free. Might persuade them. People should never have to pay for a damn toilet. Then again they don't even have them on buses in Bolivia. We arrived in the little town and found a local kid with a football to play. Marcelo. He supports Chile. Oh well. They are better than Bolivia. Playing football with Brazilians was cool and I took goalkeeping duties. We went hunting for computers that night with Enzo and Rene, but we had no luck. Enzo is actually on a mission to sleep with a woman from every country in the World and has 20 so far. If he makes it, he wants to write a book. Interesting concept. More juicy than mine lol.
Hmm plum jam. My favourite. Don't think I had any though. We got up early to go to a rocky outcrop to see a volcano. Excellent. That was worth getting up at 6am for. If you can't detect the sarcasm, its there. We had a lot of 70s and 80s music which they love in Uyuni. They had AC/DC 'Back in Black' and we were in a convoy of SUVs in the desert. Ironman moment. I cranked it up and that was a cool little vista. I decided for the road trip across Europe I want to buy a giant bus and decorate and paint it before driving all over Europe on a cool little road trip. There were a lot of lakes filled with flamingos. Was nice to see. Saw some vicunas. We went out over some rocky outcrops and saw some green stuff on rocks. There would be a stop later just to see this 'unique' green stuff. They said it only grows there. Bullshit. I had seen it and touched it in the morning. Hmm was an Aussie with a cute arse. We saw the mountains of many colours. They were quite cool. Very Bryce Canyonesque. Deserts are lifeless places. Makes me like them as much as beaches. Actually I prefer deserts. We then went to the Valley of the Rocks. That's a funky place. Lots of rocks carved up into different shapes. Wandered around there a bit. By this point I had been incinerated by the sun, for which I am just recovering, so I had to wear a towel on my head all day to limit further damage. We arrived at the Lake of Colours to stay the night. Was red from minerals blown into it and so windy it was unbelievable. It was like walking in a wind tunnel. It whipped gravel into your eyes and kept slapping you with a constant barrage. So damn cold. There was a fair bit of fitness in this hotel. Also the Israelis were here. They asked what happened and I explained I was kidnapped. Everyone drank a lot of wine, but me and two of the Brazilians did not drink so the others got a little hammered and we all played an Israeli game of Uno. One of the Israeli girls had had a Colombian boyfriend so we were reminiscing about Colombia etc. I went to sleep eventually listening to people talking shit about stuff they do not know about. Usual travel stuff.
In the morning we got up at 4am to go and see some geysers. They weren't bad, but again after Yellowstone they were a bit shat. Not sure why so many travellers don't want to go to the US. They truly do have some of the most spectacular national parks out there. It was fucking cold out there as well. I have just realised I have no real cold weather clothes and no real warm weather ones either. I have generic middle temperature clothes. Useless. We went to some thermal baths and they were luke warm but welcome after having to suffer through lack of showers. Second place did not have them. First place you had to pay 10 Bolivianos. In the thermal baths Enzo intorduced me to two Brazilian girls from his home town and we all did this weird Brazilian humping dance in the thermals on film. Brazilians are class to travel with. We then demonstrated English bump and grind, before some samba in the pool. I think the others thought we were nuts. We visited Laguna Verde. That's a really pretty lake. Kind of like the five coloured lakes near Comitan in Mexico. Afterwards they drove us to the border and we said goodbye to three of the Brazilians. The included transfer was not included. It was Ripley Tours by the way. So avoid them and if you end up in Uyuni go and complain to them for me so they know how shit they are and that their actions have consequences. The guy did not check tickets until we were about to leave. Then he realised I did not really have one. Great. i had to move buses but he promised me a seat on the other one. Then I got off and got on the other bus and he told me there was no space. Lying little shit. I called him a liar and he said I could not use his bus. Stupid little fucker. He said for my own security I should use the third bus. Hijo de puta. My security. He was 3 foot nothing. I was dreaming of breaking his nose on the van and wondering if the jurisdiction would not cross the border, but then again a border was not the best place to pick a fight. Little shit. At least he lost money and the other bus was much faster at crossing the border. I hope something awful happens to him. Oh well. Farewell and fuck off Bolivia and your lying bastard tour operators. Onwards to Chile.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Bolivia Part Three: Santa Cruz, Cochabamba and Oruro
I got to Santa Cruz and took a taxi to the centre. It looked like the wild west at first glance and was quite funky. The weather was hot, which was good and I was down from altitude for the first time in ages. It was a nice town, but there was nothing to do. After one hour there I had pretty much seen the whole place. Hmm there did not seem to be anywhere in Bolivia you could spend a lot of time as there was just nothing in any of the towns. It has the same feeling of being in Nicaragua. Now everyone says the women are the best in Santa Cruz. I disagree. I think they are better looking in Sucre, but sexier in Santa Cruz. Shows how much there was to do. Both cinemas had closed down and the highlight park was shut down. Nice. Spurs were on ESPN. Class. I watched us beat Man City 3-0 at home, outclass them and effectively get Mark Hughes sacked. The hostel staff watched it with me as well. I met Liz and we went to the Irish pub where I had an 'Irish breakfast'. Last time I checked that was an English breakfast, but as we are basically the same country I will let it go. Then we grabbed some drinks, I hung around the plaza a bit and turfed in.
At breakfast the hostel seemed to be populated with just English people. I got a job offer from Bogota British Council. Excellent. Normally you can't work for them without 2 years experience, so they must have liked my work. Lina said I could stay with her. Cool. Would be good to see her and everyone again. Then they pulled the plug as I was not in Colombia at that time. Shitty. Some things come and go too fast. I had walked out of a restaurant the day before, because all the staff stood around like lemons for 5 minutes and I was not being served. Then this day I had the same problem in a pastry shop. This country has without doubt the worst level of customer service I have ever seen anywhere and I have had to deal with Caribbean embassies. I wanted a cake. The first person would not serve me as they were taking ages to count a small amount of money. It was not the second guys jurisdiction and I would have to walk all the way to the other side to use that till. I had exact change. 'Just take my fucking money arsehole and give me the cake.' No it was too much for his brain to process so I stormed out. Then I walked to the bus station to get a ticket for Cochabamba the next morning. They would not sell me a ticket. What the fuck. Sell me a fucking ticket. One woman would for an extra charge. I said no. Then this other woman came to buy a ticket for the next day and was offered face value. I said why was she not paying a tax and she just smiled and shut the computer screen down. I could have smashed her face through the desk. They would only sell me tickets for the next day if I wanted an expensive bus, which I didn't. In the end only one company would let me travel on the cheap buses. Fuck these hawking bastards and screwing the tourists. I don't need a bus cama for a day trip. Also the hostel in Potosi fucked the Australian guy. They sold him a ticket for 35 Bolivianos to Sucre with apparently 10 commission. Yet according to Evo's own fare lisitings the maximum that can be charged for that trip is 18. Someone is fucking someone, but most likely everyone is fucking everyone. What a money grubbing dirty little system in everyway is Bolivia's bus system. I was so bored in the day I just decided. You know what, let's just go to Chile. Of course that's easier to type than to execute with this transport system. I met Liz and her Yankee boyfriend and we went to his place. He had rescued a dog in Guatemala and it had travelled with him everywhere and was now living with him down there. Quite cool. He also told some interesting stories about how shitty Aymara culture is. The richest families are elected to pay for all festivities and if they don't their children are shunned. One woman had a leg amputated and wanted to sell her land, but because she had missed meetings due to the amputation they wanted to fine her $100. Also the owners of the animal rescue centre where Johannes had been working weer corrupt. They had siphoned off $5,000 he had given them, were taking most of the money from the volunteers to fund their own lives and had even borken into another rescue centre, attempting to steal one of the bears there. Wow this country is awesome. How come both the two socialist countries (Venezuela and Bolivia) have so many money hunting grafters. Desperation breeds capitalism seemingly. That's one for Chavez and his black market to chew on. We then met one of Liz's friends and went out to some bars. First one noone was dancing. That's just not Latin America. Good music though. Second bar everyone was dancing, but the music was crap. Typical. Was also the same price for a coke and a beer. Bastards. What's the point of not being able to drink if it does not at least save you some money. Quite a lot of fit girls in the first bar though. The others bailed early and I snuck back to my room for a little bit of sleep before leaving.
I went to the station in the morning and they finally sold me a ticket. Bout time. Then some woman in the internet place fucked with me. Cost was 1 Boliviano. I gave her a 50. She gave me 48 back. I said it was short. She said there was a charge of 1 Boliviano to break a big note. Ah go fuck yourself. I called her a 'puta' and got very abusive. I had finally snapped. She got offended and very surprised. I continued the tirade and that visibly shook her. Good. Fuck her. It had been awhile since I let fly with invective, but I can be very cutting. This country was putting me over the edge. There was no space for my bag so I shoved it down the bus. I was not feeling charitable. I got to Cochabamba and the piece of shit bus broke down short of the bus station. Oh well at least it made it to town. Its a bit of a poohole. Checked into a hotel with CNN and went for a walk around. Not much to see here either and by this point I did not care. Was going to make the run for Uyuni tomorrow. Noone to go out with so I went and watched Avatar in Spanish in a funky crumbling old theatre. Quite enjoyed the film, though I am sure I missed some of the details again.
I woke up and caught the end of Heartbreakers. Not a bad film from memory. Liverpool lost 2-0 to Portsmouth. Hah they suck. I watched us beat Blackburn 2-0 away on ESPN. Good result and we are back on track. Villa, Arsenal and Man City won, but Man Utd lost and Chelsea drew. Funny season this one. Very open. Then Mark Hughes was sacked. Put my laundry in and they promised it to me for 2pm as I had to take a bus to make the Uyuni connection. I got there at 2pm and they said come back in half an hour. So I came back in half an hour. They said come back in half an hour more. Fuck these retards. They promised me a time. I exploded again. The guy stood there smiling. I assured him this was no joke, I wanted a discount and I wanted my clothes. Where were they. He said could I recognise them. I said he should be able to as he took the order. They had sent my clothes to another place to be washed. I could have done that myself. Three parts were here though. Odd. I leapt the counter and walked into his shop, picked up my stuff, told him these were mine and where were the others and I wanted them now. He stopped smiling. He almost shit himself. I was livid. What the fuck is wrong with service in this country. He left the shop unattended to find my stuff and then very rapidly pressed them all. He was so fast I felt sorry for him and thought I may pay afterall. He was moving like lightning. Hmm. American service does not come from the work ethic of the people, but the demands of the clients. You can't deliver shit service if your customers demand more and it snaps them into line. Maybe the Bolivians need to take some pride in themselves and their country and force the service levels higher. He had weighed it wrong earlier and it should have cost 36 Bolivianos but he only charged me 10 Bolivianos. Nice. Getting fiery can really save you something, but I was genuinely pissed off. They had made me snap twice in two days. I went off to Oruro hoping to make Uyuni, but the laundryman's delays meant I missed andy connection and when I got there it was absolutely smashing it down. Got drenched and the streets were rivers of water as there is no drainage. Most hotels wanted exhorbitant amounts of money but one eventually gave me a room. The Saints lost their unbeaten record after being blitzed early on to the Cowboys 24-17. Shitty. Still they can hopefully go on and lift their first superbowl.
Laundryman had cost me a night's accomodation, but thankfully it meant I would not have to set foot on a bus again in this country. I got up and got a quote for a bus to Uyuni. 35 Bolivianos. If it was even close for the train I was going to go by train. I walked through town. Its a bit of a shithole Oruro. Sucre or Santa Cruz is hands down the best city in Bolivia. Train was 40 Bolivianos and so I bought a ticket. Just the salt plains tour to go and I should be in Chile. Should be no problems as I imagine that tour is first class. Just got to think if I should draw out some dollars to cover me into Chile in case there are any problems. Not sure if there is an ATM in Uyuni and the one in San Pedro de Atacama is unreliable. I have somewhere between 700 and 800 Bolivianos and it may not be enough. I then decided to sit and write as this town is bullshit and my train goes in 3 hours. Can't imagine anything too exciting will happen from now until then. Looks like the Patriots and Cardinals are heading to the postseason.
At breakfast the hostel seemed to be populated with just English people. I got a job offer from Bogota British Council. Excellent. Normally you can't work for them without 2 years experience, so they must have liked my work. Lina said I could stay with her. Cool. Would be good to see her and everyone again. Then they pulled the plug as I was not in Colombia at that time. Shitty. Some things come and go too fast. I had walked out of a restaurant the day before, because all the staff stood around like lemons for 5 minutes and I was not being served. Then this day I had the same problem in a pastry shop. This country has without doubt the worst level of customer service I have ever seen anywhere and I have had to deal with Caribbean embassies. I wanted a cake. The first person would not serve me as they were taking ages to count a small amount of money. It was not the second guys jurisdiction and I would have to walk all the way to the other side to use that till. I had exact change. 'Just take my fucking money arsehole and give me the cake.' No it was too much for his brain to process so I stormed out. Then I walked to the bus station to get a ticket for Cochabamba the next morning. They would not sell me a ticket. What the fuck. Sell me a fucking ticket. One woman would for an extra charge. I said no. Then this other woman came to buy a ticket for the next day and was offered face value. I said why was she not paying a tax and she just smiled and shut the computer screen down. I could have smashed her face through the desk. They would only sell me tickets for the next day if I wanted an expensive bus, which I didn't. In the end only one company would let me travel on the cheap buses. Fuck these hawking bastards and screwing the tourists. I don't need a bus cama for a day trip. Also the hostel in Potosi fucked the Australian guy. They sold him a ticket for 35 Bolivianos to Sucre with apparently 10 commission. Yet according to Evo's own fare lisitings the maximum that can be charged for that trip is 18. Someone is fucking someone, but most likely everyone is fucking everyone. What a money grubbing dirty little system in everyway is Bolivia's bus system. I was so bored in the day I just decided. You know what, let's just go to Chile. Of course that's easier to type than to execute with this transport system. I met Liz and her Yankee boyfriend and we went to his place. He had rescued a dog in Guatemala and it had travelled with him everywhere and was now living with him down there. Quite cool. He also told some interesting stories about how shitty Aymara culture is. The richest families are elected to pay for all festivities and if they don't their children are shunned. One woman had a leg amputated and wanted to sell her land, but because she had missed meetings due to the amputation they wanted to fine her $100. Also the owners of the animal rescue centre where Johannes had been working weer corrupt. They had siphoned off $5,000 he had given them, were taking most of the money from the volunteers to fund their own lives and had even borken into another rescue centre, attempting to steal one of the bears there. Wow this country is awesome. How come both the two socialist countries (Venezuela and Bolivia) have so many money hunting grafters. Desperation breeds capitalism seemingly. That's one for Chavez and his black market to chew on. We then met one of Liz's friends and went out to some bars. First one noone was dancing. That's just not Latin America. Good music though. Second bar everyone was dancing, but the music was crap. Typical. Was also the same price for a coke and a beer. Bastards. What's the point of not being able to drink if it does not at least save you some money. Quite a lot of fit girls in the first bar though. The others bailed early and I snuck back to my room for a little bit of sleep before leaving.
I went to the station in the morning and they finally sold me a ticket. Bout time. Then some woman in the internet place fucked with me. Cost was 1 Boliviano. I gave her a 50. She gave me 48 back. I said it was short. She said there was a charge of 1 Boliviano to break a big note. Ah go fuck yourself. I called her a 'puta' and got very abusive. I had finally snapped. She got offended and very surprised. I continued the tirade and that visibly shook her. Good. Fuck her. It had been awhile since I let fly with invective, but I can be very cutting. This country was putting me over the edge. There was no space for my bag so I shoved it down the bus. I was not feeling charitable. I got to Cochabamba and the piece of shit bus broke down short of the bus station. Oh well at least it made it to town. Its a bit of a poohole. Checked into a hotel with CNN and went for a walk around. Not much to see here either and by this point I did not care. Was going to make the run for Uyuni tomorrow. Noone to go out with so I went and watched Avatar in Spanish in a funky crumbling old theatre. Quite enjoyed the film, though I am sure I missed some of the details again.
I woke up and caught the end of Heartbreakers. Not a bad film from memory. Liverpool lost 2-0 to Portsmouth. Hah they suck. I watched us beat Blackburn 2-0 away on ESPN. Good result and we are back on track. Villa, Arsenal and Man City won, but Man Utd lost and Chelsea drew. Funny season this one. Very open. Then Mark Hughes was sacked. Put my laundry in and they promised it to me for 2pm as I had to take a bus to make the Uyuni connection. I got there at 2pm and they said come back in half an hour. So I came back in half an hour. They said come back in half an hour more. Fuck these retards. They promised me a time. I exploded again. The guy stood there smiling. I assured him this was no joke, I wanted a discount and I wanted my clothes. Where were they. He said could I recognise them. I said he should be able to as he took the order. They had sent my clothes to another place to be washed. I could have done that myself. Three parts were here though. Odd. I leapt the counter and walked into his shop, picked up my stuff, told him these were mine and where were the others and I wanted them now. He stopped smiling. He almost shit himself. I was livid. What the fuck is wrong with service in this country. He left the shop unattended to find my stuff and then very rapidly pressed them all. He was so fast I felt sorry for him and thought I may pay afterall. He was moving like lightning. Hmm. American service does not come from the work ethic of the people, but the demands of the clients. You can't deliver shit service if your customers demand more and it snaps them into line. Maybe the Bolivians need to take some pride in themselves and their country and force the service levels higher. He had weighed it wrong earlier and it should have cost 36 Bolivianos but he only charged me 10 Bolivianos. Nice. Getting fiery can really save you something, but I was genuinely pissed off. They had made me snap twice in two days. I went off to Oruro hoping to make Uyuni, but the laundryman's delays meant I missed andy connection and when I got there it was absolutely smashing it down. Got drenched and the streets were rivers of water as there is no drainage. Most hotels wanted exhorbitant amounts of money but one eventually gave me a room. The Saints lost their unbeaten record after being blitzed early on to the Cowboys 24-17. Shitty. Still they can hopefully go on and lift their first superbowl.
Laundryman had cost me a night's accomodation, but thankfully it meant I would not have to set foot on a bus again in this country. I got up and got a quote for a bus to Uyuni. 35 Bolivianos. If it was even close for the train I was going to go by train. I walked through town. Its a bit of a shithole Oruro. Sucre or Santa Cruz is hands down the best city in Bolivia. Train was 40 Bolivianos and so I bought a ticket. Just the salt plains tour to go and I should be in Chile. Should be no problems as I imagine that tour is first class. Just got to think if I should draw out some dollars to cover me into Chile in case there are any problems. Not sure if there is an ATM in Uyuni and the one in San Pedro de Atacama is unreliable. I have somewhere between 700 and 800 Bolivianos and it may not be enough. I then decided to sit and write as this town is bullshit and my train goes in 3 hours. Can't imagine anything too exciting will happen from now until then. Looks like the Patriots and Cardinals are heading to the postseason.
Boliva Part Two: Potosi and Sucre
I woke up early and went to the bus station with the girls. They were back off to Peru to catch a plane from Cuzco. There were no morning buses to Sucre or Potosi, because apparently the locals only travel between the two to shop. Fine. So I took a bus to Oruro, which is where I am writing this now ironically. Spurs somehow lost 1-0 against Wolves at home. Fucking shit. Man City drew and Villa beat Man U of all teams. I have a feeling I have covered this already. Never mind. There was a bus to Potosi. So I took that one. I got there and walked uphill in the highest city in the world to the hostel. Its a charming enough, tiny town, but deadly boring. Nothing to do at all. I was suffering from a chest infection and worried about the cramping for the 'mine tour'. I knew that Ollie had bottled it and I was seriously considering doing the same. In the end I opted out and then found out they don't run the tours on a sunday anyway so I could not have gone if I wanted to. Yeah that's my excuse, but really I am just a bit of a pussy with this. Maybe I will go see the mines in Chile as the couchsurfer I am meeting in Iquique is doing some sort of research on this.
I met an Aussie guy in the morning and we grabbed some lunch. I decided to write and then check out the town. Ah yeah I wrote there so I had mentioned the scores before. There is not actually much to see in the town so the walkaround was quick. Real Potosi won the Bolivian league and the celebrations were a bit pathetic. Paled into significance with being in Seville when they paraded the Copa Del Rey. Assured me that town has crap nightlife. Liverpool lost to the Gunners. Hahahah. They suck right now. Will probably come back to bite me at the end of this trip. I arrived in Sucre and everything was dark and foreboding. Decided to just grab a cheap place by the bus station. Found a really shitty place, but it was cheap. Got chatting with some local girls in the restaurant place and they wanted to know why I was not choosing to work in Bolivia. Was not a hard decision.
In the morning I overslept, because I had set the alarm for 7.30pm instead of 7.30am. Ah damn teething problems. I paid for another night and then walked into town. Would miss the Aussie guy for the dinosaur tour thing. Wow Sucre is a really pretty little town. I like it a lot. Bolivian girls are also much better than Peruvian girls and possibly shade the Ecuadoreans. Then again maybe not. I took the dinosaur tour with a random bunch of tourists. The tour guides English is overly dramatic. The footprints are quite cool to see, but I figured we would be allowed to get much closer to see them. That was a little disappointing. I decided to go and rent a room in the downtown so I had effectively paid for luggage storage. Still it was not too expensive. I did see a woman stand over a drain and piss directly down into it. Classy. Like a streetside waterfall. I was now slightly worried about making Uyuni and whether the tours would make it for christmas. Claudia could not meet up and Sofia was not going to make the gig so I figured I would head on to Sant Cruz the next day. I wanted to sample the nightlife here, but there was noone around and not much going on, so I just watched Surrogates instead, which was ok.
I got chatting with a Dutch guy over breakfast the next day. Interesting old dude. I went to visit the museum in town. It is recommended to eat less at altitude so I started to do that as was feeling a bit shitty. I am sure there is something wrong with my stomach. Hoping its not the hernia. Museum was ok. Nothing you couldn't miss. Graham had headed into town, but I did not have time to meet him as I was leaving. They are having a campaign to get Rage Against the Machine's 'Killing in the Name Of' to christmas number one over the X-Factor in the UK. Nice campaign. Wrong song. Should have gone for 'Wake Up'. Less offensive, about mind control, which is what they accuse the X Factor of more or less and comes from the Matrix films so will be remembered. Bus station bullshit was to follow. They fucked around with the tickets and then said the bus was leaving and blocked off the ways down, while I still needed the toilet as they don't believe in toilets on buses in Bolivia. They would not put the bag in the old as I had no ticket, so I just started whacking people and then stored it inside. Shit organisation. I have not lost my temper in ages, but have snapped twice in the last two days in this country and I think this started it. I wrote 'shittest, dirtiest bus in Bolivia with no toilet. Fuck this shit.' The roads out of town were awful. It was like driving in a quarry. We had a toilet and dinner stop, but I did not want to eat there. Someone kept touching my face like John Travolta from 'Face/Off' and someone looked like a moomin. Anyway. Onwards we go.
I met an Aussie guy in the morning and we grabbed some lunch. I decided to write and then check out the town. Ah yeah I wrote there so I had mentioned the scores before. There is not actually much to see in the town so the walkaround was quick. Real Potosi won the Bolivian league and the celebrations were a bit pathetic. Paled into significance with being in Seville when they paraded the Copa Del Rey. Assured me that town has crap nightlife. Liverpool lost to the Gunners. Hahahah. They suck right now. Will probably come back to bite me at the end of this trip. I arrived in Sucre and everything was dark and foreboding. Decided to just grab a cheap place by the bus station. Found a really shitty place, but it was cheap. Got chatting with some local girls in the restaurant place and they wanted to know why I was not choosing to work in Bolivia. Was not a hard decision.
In the morning I overslept, because I had set the alarm for 7.30pm instead of 7.30am. Ah damn teething problems. I paid for another night and then walked into town. Would miss the Aussie guy for the dinosaur tour thing. Wow Sucre is a really pretty little town. I like it a lot. Bolivian girls are also much better than Peruvian girls and possibly shade the Ecuadoreans. Then again maybe not. I took the dinosaur tour with a random bunch of tourists. The tour guides English is overly dramatic. The footprints are quite cool to see, but I figured we would be allowed to get much closer to see them. That was a little disappointing. I decided to go and rent a room in the downtown so I had effectively paid for luggage storage. Still it was not too expensive. I did see a woman stand over a drain and piss directly down into it. Classy. Like a streetside waterfall. I was now slightly worried about making Uyuni and whether the tours would make it for christmas. Claudia could not meet up and Sofia was not going to make the gig so I figured I would head on to Sant Cruz the next day. I wanted to sample the nightlife here, but there was noone around and not much going on, so I just watched Surrogates instead, which was ok.
I got chatting with a Dutch guy over breakfast the next day. Interesting old dude. I went to visit the museum in town. It is recommended to eat less at altitude so I started to do that as was feeling a bit shitty. I am sure there is something wrong with my stomach. Hoping its not the hernia. Museum was ok. Nothing you couldn't miss. Graham had headed into town, but I did not have time to meet him as I was leaving. They are having a campaign to get Rage Against the Machine's 'Killing in the Name Of' to christmas number one over the X-Factor in the UK. Nice campaign. Wrong song. Should have gone for 'Wake Up'. Less offensive, about mind control, which is what they accuse the X Factor of more or less and comes from the Matrix films so will be remembered. Bus station bullshit was to follow. They fucked around with the tickets and then said the bus was leaving and blocked off the ways down, while I still needed the toilet as they don't believe in toilets on buses in Bolivia. They would not put the bag in the old as I had no ticket, so I just started whacking people and then stored it inside. Shit organisation. I have not lost my temper in ages, but have snapped twice in the last two days in this country and I think this started it. I wrote 'shittest, dirtiest bus in Bolivia with no toilet. Fuck this shit.' The roads out of town were awful. It was like driving in a quarry. We had a toilet and dinner stop, but I did not want to eat there. Someone kept touching my face like John Travolta from 'Face/Off' and someone looked like a moomin. Anyway. Onwards we go.
Bolivia Part One: Titicaca and La Paz
I wandered down to the waterfront of this dineyfied town. That's Copacabana if I did not mention it in the last post. Expensive place for Bolivia, but then i have not found that Bolivia is massively cheaper than other countries down here. It can be. Definitely. Its also at a way lower level of quality though, so you get what you pay for. Especially with buses. They are all dirty, disease ridden shitpits in this country. Even Peru could clean its buses. Anyway I bought a ticket from the dockside for half the money the others had paid at agencies in town. Ah you have to love the dirty shiester middlemen. I went and got some lunch in town. It was very expensive, but pretty good. Best food I had in Bolivia probably, except for the place near Potosi's bus station of all places. I grabbed the boat and headed over to Isla Del Sol. They had asked me if I wanted to stay or come back. What time did the boat arrive? 3pm. And what time did it come back? 4pm. Hmm. Yeah I wanted to come back. Don't want to spent more than an hour somewhere surely. What a waste of time that would be. Fuckwit.
On the boat over I got chatting to a Texan dude, a couple of German girls and three English guys. Surprisingly everyone from my country on this trip had been decent except the idiot in Iquitos, but at least he makes for good stories. Hmm we were informed that we would have to pay 5 Bolivianos to see the excellent Incan sites and 20 instead of 10 to come back. Ah welcome to the con. You are on a boat and so have no choice but to pay. Then you must pay double to come back because you are trapped on an island and have no choice. Ladrones. Oh well it was a good first intorduction to the long con. Also I got told to shut up for translating the tour guide to those who spoke no Spanish. Ah of course. It is important to note that the tour guide was repeating the exact same thing for the third time, but heaven forbid I stop someone from memorising his drivel. We arrived on the island. They met us at the dock for the Inca ruin charge (rip off the gringo charge). They could not change a 50 (I know they never have change so I always pay with big notes as it gets me stuff for free). They said pay at the office. I went 'yep, sure' and walked straight past it. I will pay if its fair, but if they fuck me, I will fuck them harder. A cool little kid met us and escorted (frog marched) us to the hostels up above. He expalined how everything was Inca and they only had one fountain for water. I said what about the north and he said oh yeah they had fountains too. They really will sell you on any shit here. Also the 'Inca' ruins looked younger than my house in the UK. I do sometimes wonder how much of these 'lesser, crappier' sites they dig up in obscure towns are Inca and how much are Ikea. The place was really nice. Shame we would never sleep there. He changed the price from 20 to 25 as he had obviously undersold the place for commission and probably made more money for his walk than the hotel did. We decided to get a quasi dinner and then hike to the north end of the island. Part way round we hit a checkpoint. Ah class. More ruins (that don't really exist) in the north and we would have to pay 10 to enter the other side of the island and 5 for path maintainence. This country was going to need to come up with some system to maintain my patience. I said 'no chance, 10 maximum' and they took it. I ended up paying 10 when it should have been 20. Good business. I have become a master haggler and fearsome negotiator and I will get my arse handed to me when I am back in London and on the London Underground insisting I will only pay half and they will have to take it or leave it. We went hiking off across the island. You get some great views, but if you take away the snow capped mountains on the right it could easily be England. Then it began to rain and it was England. Andy (the Texan) had stomach problems and went to the random town on the right with one of the German girls. They managed to scramble down what we thought was a path in the light, even if they ended up going through a forest. We were not so lucky. We hiked onwards to the end and saw fuck all for our 10 Bolivianos and then we saw lightning ahead of us. Shit. We really had to scramble back for the town. Andy was going to try to hire a boat to take us back. We got lost on the trail and eventually found the path down. Well I say path, but it wasn't really a path. We descended round a rock and down a gully. Luckily we found some plastic bottles left behind by irresponsible tourists. Its always a sure fire sign that you are on a trail frequented by touristy tourists and they would not desert safe ground. Either that or locals use the trail, because Bolivians will always throw their shit into the wild territories. We eventually staggered towards some light and shouted to a shadow. The ghost man he shall be called. I never saw him. We just spoke. His voice drifted through the fog like those ancient mariner's voices out at sea and we were cut adrift in the fog, so it was apt. He told us to go downhill where we met some demon children who escorted us into town. We were told our friends had not made it (which was wrong as they had been there and told the owners to say we were in the restaurant). Luckily we were hungry so that's where we had headed anyway after paying kids biscuits to take us there. We found the others and Andy said he had a captain. They had taken refuge in the restaurant after a 3 year old girl had told Andy this Bolivian guy wanted to beat him up and rape the Sonja. Charming. Good educations these islanders get. The boat captain changed his mind and then wanted our trade in the morning. He can go fuck himself, the lazy bastard. We ate and then set off for home, but a downpour ofrain changed our mind and we stayed in another place on this side of the island for 15 Bolivianos. The beds were ultimate shit. One of the worst I have ever stayed in. Andy had to abandon his, put a mattress on the floor and borrow a sleeping bag from some French who were drunkenly partying upstairs. Ah no more drink for me now. Que triste.
We got up early in the morning and set off for the hike back across the island to rescue our backpacks. We got to the edge of town and these almighty noises came from beyond the pathway. It sounded like the smoke monster from Lost. What kind of island was this. Demon children, smoke monsters, ghostly sailors, rape minded 2 year olds, thunderstorms at both ends of the island and mysteriously invisible Inca ruins. It was mystical. Almost otherworldly. Thank God the little bastard from the checkpoint yesterday was on hand to drag us back to shitty reality. It was pissing it down on the way back. Like walking on the cliffs of Devon. We were walking towards the gate and I could see some hobbitlike creature in a plastic cover come bounding (well jogging slowly) along a pathway below us. What was it. A mystical creature. No it was a Bolivian man. I joked cynically that he was running to charge us at the checkpoint lol. Only the little shit was. He got there and asked for money. I said no we paid yesterday and would not pay again. He said you pay everytime you go through the checkpoint. Yeah right. I just advanced on him, got angry and said we had paid him yesterday and we were not going to pay anything again to this fucking mercenary. He can jog slowly back to whatever pit he crawled out of. Then the heavens really let us have it. This was torrential rain on Amazonian levels, only cold. We got destroyed by the rain and I was beginning to wonder when I got back just what was this lump around my appendix. It is still there, but much smaller than before. I hope this bit of the blog is not a precursor of something really awful later on. Oh well. My dad reckons its a strain. Stripped off the wet clothes and got in the beds we never slept in. They were so much better and the reason we did not walk back the night before was to avoid the rain. Well that worked. We took a tinier shittier boat back to the mainland. It looked like it would sink anytime. Yeah charge us 10 to come over in a good boat and 20 to go back in a shit one. Also we had stone cold crazy pilot. Just like Sir Jabalot at Angel Falls. He had zero facial expression and just like Jabalot took us in the clouds while everyone stayed low, he ploughed ride across the middle of the lake while everyone else hugged the coast. Why do I always get the crazies. Anyway we made it back and were sold into chattel slavery by an agency. I am not joking. They sell you bus tickets, but don't actually have a bus. Then they sell you in big groups to bus companies. I half expected to find myself renamed the Bolivian and entered into gladiatorial combat in the pits of La Paz when we got to the other end. Hmm ok then the bus stopped and we all got out (Sorry it was a minivan as they ran out of busses. Bumper day for the slave traders). They drove our van onto a log and then punted it across the river. Take that Cambridge. Punt a few tourists. Bah. You should be punting a whole bus. Then we were loaded into a children's compartment to cross the river. Now it was like a slave galley. No room to breath. We hit the other side and carried on with a new Danish doctor for company. I think he told me you make something obscene like $12,000 a month if you work as a doctor in Norway or was it double that. What the hell do you do with that money? I had travelled with the two German girls and as it was battering down with rain we got a taxi (after the third one eventually gave us a fair price) and stayed in. Sonja and I grabbed dinner and chatted philosophy for ages and then turfed in.
We got up early and had a look around the town. The view of La Paz as you arrive there is actually quite special, but the city looks often like the toilet parts of Central American big cities close to the centre. We saw the catehdral and the main square was nice (as you expect from these colonial Spanish cities). The city is a bit dirty and a lot of it was being refurbished. Was unusual for me, but it was a big city I did not like that much. Was ok. Nothing more. Yet everyone raves about La Paz. Possibly for the cocaine, as after Colombia it is the second most prolific. Though they shut down the cocaine bar recently due to an expose from the Guardian. Is there anything that paper can't ruin. they interfered in another foreign election and cost the electorate recently. I still remember those idiots writing to American in Ohio in 2004 to vote for Kerry. Yes because if you write to midwesterners from a socialist paper advising them who to vote for, they are going to vote for your recommendation. Arrogant sons of bitches. I would love to see the numbers, but I reckon at least 90% of those written to voted Bush in a close election year. Perhaps the Guardian is to blame for Bush's second term. Just want to hang that one out there. We went to the funky kid's park that doubles as a mirador. Then we grabbed an awesomely healthy breakfast in a cafe (I was wrong earlier. This was the best meal I had. For my health anyway). Then I broke my toe kicking a curbstone looking for a new phone. We headed to a gallery which had quite a lot of cool art. I met Sofia and we went and bought a telephone. I said I wanted the cheapest they had and they offered me one for $150. No the cheapest. So eventually I got one for $35 but its not activated for the chip. Well they assured me it is unchipped so hopefully it is in Chile as will try to pick something up there. We got some coffee afterwards and then met the girls back at the hotel to get some dinner and go clubbing. The club was a nice location, but the music was properly shit. Kind of like Candelario in Bogota. I was getting tired of crap locations. Need to go to the End when I am back in Bogota and looking forward to the clubbing scene in Buenos Aires where I will be able to dance properly. I was told Tiesto was playing on the wednesday so I changed all my plans to see him and would set off for Potosi or Sucre in the morning. See those two, come back and then head out to Santa Cruz for a bit. I need some sleep at this point and probably now as well to be fair.
On the boat over I got chatting to a Texan dude, a couple of German girls and three English guys. Surprisingly everyone from my country on this trip had been decent except the idiot in Iquitos, but at least he makes for good stories. Hmm we were informed that we would have to pay 5 Bolivianos to see the excellent Incan sites and 20 instead of 10 to come back. Ah welcome to the con. You are on a boat and so have no choice but to pay. Then you must pay double to come back because you are trapped on an island and have no choice. Ladrones. Oh well it was a good first intorduction to the long con. Also I got told to shut up for translating the tour guide to those who spoke no Spanish. Ah of course. It is important to note that the tour guide was repeating the exact same thing for the third time, but heaven forbid I stop someone from memorising his drivel. We arrived on the island. They met us at the dock for the Inca ruin charge (rip off the gringo charge). They could not change a 50 (I know they never have change so I always pay with big notes as it gets me stuff for free). They said pay at the office. I went 'yep, sure' and walked straight past it. I will pay if its fair, but if they fuck me, I will fuck them harder. A cool little kid met us and escorted (frog marched) us to the hostels up above. He expalined how everything was Inca and they only had one fountain for water. I said what about the north and he said oh yeah they had fountains too. They really will sell you on any shit here. Also the 'Inca' ruins looked younger than my house in the UK. I do sometimes wonder how much of these 'lesser, crappier' sites they dig up in obscure towns are Inca and how much are Ikea. The place was really nice. Shame we would never sleep there. He changed the price from 20 to 25 as he had obviously undersold the place for commission and probably made more money for his walk than the hotel did. We decided to get a quasi dinner and then hike to the north end of the island. Part way round we hit a checkpoint. Ah class. More ruins (that don't really exist) in the north and we would have to pay 10 to enter the other side of the island and 5 for path maintainence. This country was going to need to come up with some system to maintain my patience. I said 'no chance, 10 maximum' and they took it. I ended up paying 10 when it should have been 20. Good business. I have become a master haggler and fearsome negotiator and I will get my arse handed to me when I am back in London and on the London Underground insisting I will only pay half and they will have to take it or leave it. We went hiking off across the island. You get some great views, but if you take away the snow capped mountains on the right it could easily be England. Then it began to rain and it was England. Andy (the Texan) had stomach problems and went to the random town on the right with one of the German girls. They managed to scramble down what we thought was a path in the light, even if they ended up going through a forest. We were not so lucky. We hiked onwards to the end and saw fuck all for our 10 Bolivianos and then we saw lightning ahead of us. Shit. We really had to scramble back for the town. Andy was going to try to hire a boat to take us back. We got lost on the trail and eventually found the path down. Well I say path, but it wasn't really a path. We descended round a rock and down a gully. Luckily we found some plastic bottles left behind by irresponsible tourists. Its always a sure fire sign that you are on a trail frequented by touristy tourists and they would not desert safe ground. Either that or locals use the trail, because Bolivians will always throw their shit into the wild territories. We eventually staggered towards some light and shouted to a shadow. The ghost man he shall be called. I never saw him. We just spoke. His voice drifted through the fog like those ancient mariner's voices out at sea and we were cut adrift in the fog, so it was apt. He told us to go downhill where we met some demon children who escorted us into town. We were told our friends had not made it (which was wrong as they had been there and told the owners to say we were in the restaurant). Luckily we were hungry so that's where we had headed anyway after paying kids biscuits to take us there. We found the others and Andy said he had a captain. They had taken refuge in the restaurant after a 3 year old girl had told Andy this Bolivian guy wanted to beat him up and rape the Sonja. Charming. Good educations these islanders get. The boat captain changed his mind and then wanted our trade in the morning. He can go fuck himself, the lazy bastard. We ate and then set off for home, but a downpour ofrain changed our mind and we stayed in another place on this side of the island for 15 Bolivianos. The beds were ultimate shit. One of the worst I have ever stayed in. Andy had to abandon his, put a mattress on the floor and borrow a sleeping bag from some French who were drunkenly partying upstairs. Ah no more drink for me now. Que triste.
We got up early in the morning and set off for the hike back across the island to rescue our backpacks. We got to the edge of town and these almighty noises came from beyond the pathway. It sounded like the smoke monster from Lost. What kind of island was this. Demon children, smoke monsters, ghostly sailors, rape minded 2 year olds, thunderstorms at both ends of the island and mysteriously invisible Inca ruins. It was mystical. Almost otherworldly. Thank God the little bastard from the checkpoint yesterday was on hand to drag us back to shitty reality. It was pissing it down on the way back. Like walking on the cliffs of Devon. We were walking towards the gate and I could see some hobbitlike creature in a plastic cover come bounding (well jogging slowly) along a pathway below us. What was it. A mystical creature. No it was a Bolivian man. I joked cynically that he was running to charge us at the checkpoint lol. Only the little shit was. He got there and asked for money. I said no we paid yesterday and would not pay again. He said you pay everytime you go through the checkpoint. Yeah right. I just advanced on him, got angry and said we had paid him yesterday and we were not going to pay anything again to this fucking mercenary. He can jog slowly back to whatever pit he crawled out of. Then the heavens really let us have it. This was torrential rain on Amazonian levels, only cold. We got destroyed by the rain and I was beginning to wonder when I got back just what was this lump around my appendix. It is still there, but much smaller than before. I hope this bit of the blog is not a precursor of something really awful later on. Oh well. My dad reckons its a strain. Stripped off the wet clothes and got in the beds we never slept in. They were so much better and the reason we did not walk back the night before was to avoid the rain. Well that worked. We took a tinier shittier boat back to the mainland. It looked like it would sink anytime. Yeah charge us 10 to come over in a good boat and 20 to go back in a shit one. Also we had stone cold crazy pilot. Just like Sir Jabalot at Angel Falls. He had zero facial expression and just like Jabalot took us in the clouds while everyone stayed low, he ploughed ride across the middle of the lake while everyone else hugged the coast. Why do I always get the crazies. Anyway we made it back and were sold into chattel slavery by an agency. I am not joking. They sell you bus tickets, but don't actually have a bus. Then they sell you in big groups to bus companies. I half expected to find myself renamed the Bolivian and entered into gladiatorial combat in the pits of La Paz when we got to the other end. Hmm ok then the bus stopped and we all got out (Sorry it was a minivan as they ran out of busses. Bumper day for the slave traders). They drove our van onto a log and then punted it across the river. Take that Cambridge. Punt a few tourists. Bah. You should be punting a whole bus. Then we were loaded into a children's compartment to cross the river. Now it was like a slave galley. No room to breath. We hit the other side and carried on with a new Danish doctor for company. I think he told me you make something obscene like $12,000 a month if you work as a doctor in Norway or was it double that. What the hell do you do with that money? I had travelled with the two German girls and as it was battering down with rain we got a taxi (after the third one eventually gave us a fair price) and stayed in. Sonja and I grabbed dinner and chatted philosophy for ages and then turfed in.
We got up early and had a look around the town. The view of La Paz as you arrive there is actually quite special, but the city looks often like the toilet parts of Central American big cities close to the centre. We saw the catehdral and the main square was nice (as you expect from these colonial Spanish cities). The city is a bit dirty and a lot of it was being refurbished. Was unusual for me, but it was a big city I did not like that much. Was ok. Nothing more. Yet everyone raves about La Paz. Possibly for the cocaine, as after Colombia it is the second most prolific. Though they shut down the cocaine bar recently due to an expose from the Guardian. Is there anything that paper can't ruin. they interfered in another foreign election and cost the electorate recently. I still remember those idiots writing to American in Ohio in 2004 to vote for Kerry. Yes because if you write to midwesterners from a socialist paper advising them who to vote for, they are going to vote for your recommendation. Arrogant sons of bitches. I would love to see the numbers, but I reckon at least 90% of those written to voted Bush in a close election year. Perhaps the Guardian is to blame for Bush's second term. Just want to hang that one out there. We went to the funky kid's park that doubles as a mirador. Then we grabbed an awesomely healthy breakfast in a cafe (I was wrong earlier. This was the best meal I had. For my health anyway). Then I broke my toe kicking a curbstone looking for a new phone. We headed to a gallery which had quite a lot of cool art. I met Sofia and we went and bought a telephone. I said I wanted the cheapest they had and they offered me one for $150. No the cheapest. So eventually I got one for $35 but its not activated for the chip. Well they assured me it is unchipped so hopefully it is in Chile as will try to pick something up there. We got some coffee afterwards and then met the girls back at the hotel to get some dinner and go clubbing. The club was a nice location, but the music was properly shit. Kind of like Candelario in Bogota. I was getting tired of crap locations. Need to go to the End when I am back in Bogota and looking forward to the clubbing scene in Buenos Aires where I will be able to dance properly. I was told Tiesto was playing on the wednesday so I changed all my plans to see him and would set off for Potosi or Sucre in the morning. See those two, come back and then head out to Santa Cruz for a bit. I need some sleep at this point and probably now as well to be fair.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Peru Part 8: Arequipa and Puno
It seemed like the bus driver was a massive Paul Walker fan. Fast and the Furious 4 was playing in between my sleep and then that film about him and the dogs in Antractica which I had seen before came on. Mostly ignored this as needed to catch up on sleep. Then there was a bastard with his soap that can cure everything. Its just a normal bar of soap. He said there ends my speech and carried on for another 100 years. Someone should have just shot him. Put us all out of our misery. I found a fair taxi driver when I arrived. Unusual. Arequipa would turn out to be the Peruvian equivalent of Cuenca. Vastly superior to the rest of the country in every way. I then got to watch some Peruvian comedy on the bus as well. the Peruvian idea of sophisticated comedy is men dressed as women. Sums up the level of intelligence in this country. I got into the city and had a walk around. It looked nice and pretty, but noone was available so I went to sleep.
Ah kick arse the Saints have held on with some desperate defending to beat the Falcons 26-23. 13-0 and going for the perfect season. Colts are just about up against the Broncos as well. There was a weird old guy staying in my hotel. He kept trying to shine my shoes and then wanted me to straighten his back, but it seemed like an excuse for him to rub his arse into my crotch. He then gave me his home address and asked me to visit. I think he may be a strange old gay man. Tried to avoid him for the rest of the trip, but he seemed to live like some sort of troll in the lobby. I put my laundry in and was about time it got done. I then went to meet Gianina for lunch. She showed me around the city and we went to a posh restaurant in the city that does cheap set menus. My inca cola was the same price as the whole meal, because it was not included. Met a Yankee friend of hers who said I could have a job in his institute if I don't find anything in Buenos Aires. Nice guy. Went to his place for drinks in the evening. Liverpool had drawn and the others had won. We went and met a tall friend of his names Claudia and another Claudia from couchsurfing and her friends. There was also another guy from the States. They were playing some form of jenga when we got there. Afterwards we went clubbing and all night long we met a load of people. Seems like a small town, but also a friendly town. There was an Irish guy who had been working for the American guy and seemingly knew most of the girls in the town. The American guy had walked out on two kids fucking in the street by his house earlier. They were a little embarassed but the middle of the street was never going to be a smart spot. I got a few people's numbers and then went back to the hostel. There was stupidly only one key for the room, so i had to knock on the door at 5am and wake up the Israeli guy there. He seemed ok with it given the circumstances.
Spurs managed to draw 2-2 with Everton after being 2-0 up with 12 minutes to play and then missed a last minute penalty. We just lost 1-0 yesterday to Wolves at home as well, which sucked. At least Liverpool lost and Man City drew, though Villa beat Man United. Game against Man City is a must win now on wednesday. Saints pulled off a miracle win as well, when Redskins missed a 26 yard fieldgoal, Saints went to whole pitch to score and then intercepted in overtime to kick a winning fieldgoal. Someone was smiling down on them. The last buses to Chivay had gone so I was forced to opt for a tour. I went back to the hostel and booked a one day tour that left at 2am. Great. I then went out to meet tall Claudia for drinks. I had effectively wasted a day due to the buses. We met and got coffee and then went to dance. We did some cool hip hop style and I pulled her in the taxi home as she had to leave. I still had time to kill so I went back to the club. Lost my phone in the taxi. Ah retarded. It was the last thing that had made it all the way through the trip with me. I was pissed off and now had no alarm. No choice but to keep on clubbing. I waqs dancing alone and met a very hot gymnast from Peru. We went with her friends to a bar and I met a random couchsurfer who was running the first ever donut business in Vietnam. Interesting. I stayed with them in the bar until I had to leave and then went to get the tour with no sleep. Stupid bus was really late and I kept waking up the guy in the hotel again and again until he did something about it. I threatened to cancel the tour unless the bus was there by 3am and it made it by 5 minutes to. I was really losing all my Englishness with my haggling. I think I will get into trouble when I get home and keep trying to haggle for absolutely everything.
It was a tour of middle aged people. The kind that Graham tends to hate. It was 45 minutes late in leaving. I hate tours. There was an advert on the chairs in the bus that said 'shoppinh centre exclusively for tourists.' Fuck that. Why would you want that. I wrote 'why am I here?' I think the sleep deprivation was getting to me, but I was constantly reminded of why I hate tours by the useless fucks that were on my tour. I was so fucking tired. We eventually made it to Cruz del Condor and I saw the condors circling away below and above me. I met the Canadian from Hucachina randomly. She had recognised me and I was not exactly sure who she was at first. I slept a lot and we had a lot of pointless stops in pointless towns for pointless things. Seems like the locals were after our blood, well money, but to them its the same thing. Currency vampires is what they are. Out to suck us dry. I was so fucking tired and could not find Claudia in the bars after I had contacted her about lost phone. I went back to the hostel to sleep, but those plans never work. I bumped into a couple of Canadians and a Yankee. They were wankers really, but figured they might be fun company for one night out. They were buzzed and so we headed out clubbing. One party had been busy so I asked at the door. They said it was private and a quincenera or however its written (party for 15 year olds). Whoops. The Canadian wanted to know why we could not get in as he spoke no Spanish so I explained it to him. We entered the bar and got mobbed by crazy drunk French girls. Was fun. Music was reggaeton and the French girl wanted to dance Merengue. She said she was too pissed for any other style. Then the Canadian got together with a local who did not like her arse being touched. Her friend miraculously appeared and they said to 'get me'. One reason they don't like Spanish speakers. We understand them. I was not interested and the Canadian wanted me to ask his girl if she would sleep with him. I said smooth or blunt. He said blunt as he only had one night. She said no. Then he moved on. Me and him got dancing with two lawyers who had to leave when their dad arrived. Meanwhile his brother and the Yank had found two girls. The Yank's girl was the best looking person I have ever seen in Peru. They were having fun and then the girls left. We followed them out and the fit one told her friend 'look just lie to him and tell him you have to leave.' Damn these Peruvian hunters. The American was heartbroken for the rest of the night, but we traded e-mails with her friend. We went to a few shit bars and then back to Deja Vu. Then we encountered a Chilean school group/university group, who wanted one of the Canadians to dance on the table. Only me and one Chilean girl spoke both languages and we ended up hooking up. The Canadians hooked up with one each, but then the Chilean girl with the Canadian said she was a lesbian and her girlfriend was there and jealous. Again I checked this in Spanish and it was bollocks. One of the Chileans had disappeared and eventually they had to get their bus for Chile and the Canadian was still trying to sleep with all of them. I said I may see them in Arica or in Valparaiso for new year. Will see how it goes. We eventually headed back to the hostel after a random night. I thought the Chilean had given me a fake e-mail and indeed it did not work, but then she added me anyway so maybe she wrote it wrong. Makes no sense.
I slept in and then had a chat with the guys before I went for lunch. I took a bus to Puno on Lake Titicaca in the afternoon. The border was going to shut early so I would not have enough time to cross into Bolivia that day. I was sitting in the bus terminal and there was a mighty noise made. Someone had parked in the wrong space. They swapped spaces. What the fuck was the point of that. They were next to each other and leaving at the same time anyway. Peruvians. Stupidity runs high in a lot of them. Arequipa is like an oasis of intelligence in the stupidity. The films were Braveheart and Django which was very random. I arrived in Puno half dead from a lack of sleep. There appeared to be no restaurants and loads of lightning on the lake. I booked my ticket for the next day and drew cash as there were no ATMs in Copacabana apparently.
Without any alarm I was up at 4.30am and paranoid I had missed the bus. Then again at 5.00am. I gave up and went to the bus station for my 7.30am bus. I killed time and then set off to cross the border. Apparently the ruins near to Copacabana were disappointing if you had come from Peru. I found the ruins in Peru disappointing, so God knows how bad the Bolivian ones are. We crossed over with limited problems except for being annoyed at the instructions in Spanish and English. I hate listening to stuff twice. Woohoo it was country number 51. Bolivia. Could it beat the shit Ecuador and so-so Peru to be king of the Andes?
Ah kick arse the Saints have held on with some desperate defending to beat the Falcons 26-23. 13-0 and going for the perfect season. Colts are just about up against the Broncos as well. There was a weird old guy staying in my hotel. He kept trying to shine my shoes and then wanted me to straighten his back, but it seemed like an excuse for him to rub his arse into my crotch. He then gave me his home address and asked me to visit. I think he may be a strange old gay man. Tried to avoid him for the rest of the trip, but he seemed to live like some sort of troll in the lobby. I put my laundry in and was about time it got done. I then went to meet Gianina for lunch. She showed me around the city and we went to a posh restaurant in the city that does cheap set menus. My inca cola was the same price as the whole meal, because it was not included. Met a Yankee friend of hers who said I could have a job in his institute if I don't find anything in Buenos Aires. Nice guy. Went to his place for drinks in the evening. Liverpool had drawn and the others had won. We went and met a tall friend of his names Claudia and another Claudia from couchsurfing and her friends. There was also another guy from the States. They were playing some form of jenga when we got there. Afterwards we went clubbing and all night long we met a load of people. Seems like a small town, but also a friendly town. There was an Irish guy who had been working for the American guy and seemingly knew most of the girls in the town. The American guy had walked out on two kids fucking in the street by his house earlier. They were a little embarassed but the middle of the street was never going to be a smart spot. I got a few people's numbers and then went back to the hostel. There was stupidly only one key for the room, so i had to knock on the door at 5am and wake up the Israeli guy there. He seemed ok with it given the circumstances.
Spurs managed to draw 2-2 with Everton after being 2-0 up with 12 minutes to play and then missed a last minute penalty. We just lost 1-0 yesterday to Wolves at home as well, which sucked. At least Liverpool lost and Man City drew, though Villa beat Man United. Game against Man City is a must win now on wednesday. Saints pulled off a miracle win as well, when Redskins missed a 26 yard fieldgoal, Saints went to whole pitch to score and then intercepted in overtime to kick a winning fieldgoal. Someone was smiling down on them. The last buses to Chivay had gone so I was forced to opt for a tour. I went back to the hostel and booked a one day tour that left at 2am. Great. I then went out to meet tall Claudia for drinks. I had effectively wasted a day due to the buses. We met and got coffee and then went to dance. We did some cool hip hop style and I pulled her in the taxi home as she had to leave. I still had time to kill so I went back to the club. Lost my phone in the taxi. Ah retarded. It was the last thing that had made it all the way through the trip with me. I was pissed off and now had no alarm. No choice but to keep on clubbing. I waqs dancing alone and met a very hot gymnast from Peru. We went with her friends to a bar and I met a random couchsurfer who was running the first ever donut business in Vietnam. Interesting. I stayed with them in the bar until I had to leave and then went to get the tour with no sleep. Stupid bus was really late and I kept waking up the guy in the hotel again and again until he did something about it. I threatened to cancel the tour unless the bus was there by 3am and it made it by 5 minutes to. I was really losing all my Englishness with my haggling. I think I will get into trouble when I get home and keep trying to haggle for absolutely everything.
It was a tour of middle aged people. The kind that Graham tends to hate. It was 45 minutes late in leaving. I hate tours. There was an advert on the chairs in the bus that said 'shoppinh centre exclusively for tourists.' Fuck that. Why would you want that. I wrote 'why am I here?' I think the sleep deprivation was getting to me, but I was constantly reminded of why I hate tours by the useless fucks that were on my tour. I was so fucking tired. We eventually made it to Cruz del Condor and I saw the condors circling away below and above me. I met the Canadian from Hucachina randomly. She had recognised me and I was not exactly sure who she was at first. I slept a lot and we had a lot of pointless stops in pointless towns for pointless things. Seems like the locals were after our blood, well money, but to them its the same thing. Currency vampires is what they are. Out to suck us dry. I was so fucking tired and could not find Claudia in the bars after I had contacted her about lost phone. I went back to the hostel to sleep, but those plans never work. I bumped into a couple of Canadians and a Yankee. They were wankers really, but figured they might be fun company for one night out. They were buzzed and so we headed out clubbing. One party had been busy so I asked at the door. They said it was private and a quincenera or however its written (party for 15 year olds). Whoops. The Canadian wanted to know why we could not get in as he spoke no Spanish so I explained it to him. We entered the bar and got mobbed by crazy drunk French girls. Was fun. Music was reggaeton and the French girl wanted to dance Merengue. She said she was too pissed for any other style. Then the Canadian got together with a local who did not like her arse being touched. Her friend miraculously appeared and they said to 'get me'. One reason they don't like Spanish speakers. We understand them. I was not interested and the Canadian wanted me to ask his girl if she would sleep with him. I said smooth or blunt. He said blunt as he only had one night. She said no. Then he moved on. Me and him got dancing with two lawyers who had to leave when their dad arrived. Meanwhile his brother and the Yank had found two girls. The Yank's girl was the best looking person I have ever seen in Peru. They were having fun and then the girls left. We followed them out and the fit one told her friend 'look just lie to him and tell him you have to leave.' Damn these Peruvian hunters. The American was heartbroken for the rest of the night, but we traded e-mails with her friend. We went to a few shit bars and then back to Deja Vu. Then we encountered a Chilean school group/university group, who wanted one of the Canadians to dance on the table. Only me and one Chilean girl spoke both languages and we ended up hooking up. The Canadians hooked up with one each, but then the Chilean girl with the Canadian said she was a lesbian and her girlfriend was there and jealous. Again I checked this in Spanish and it was bollocks. One of the Chileans had disappeared and eventually they had to get their bus for Chile and the Canadian was still trying to sleep with all of them. I said I may see them in Arica or in Valparaiso for new year. Will see how it goes. We eventually headed back to the hostel after a random night. I thought the Chilean had given me a fake e-mail and indeed it did not work, but then she added me anyway so maybe she wrote it wrong. Makes no sense.
I slept in and then had a chat with the guys before I went for lunch. I took a bus to Puno on Lake Titicaca in the afternoon. The border was going to shut early so I would not have enough time to cross into Bolivia that day. I was sitting in the bus terminal and there was a mighty noise made. Someone had parked in the wrong space. They swapped spaces. What the fuck was the point of that. They were next to each other and leaving at the same time anyway. Peruvians. Stupidity runs high in a lot of them. Arequipa is like an oasis of intelligence in the stupidity. The films were Braveheart and Django which was very random. I arrived in Puno half dead from a lack of sleep. There appeared to be no restaurants and loads of lightning on the lake. I booked my ticket for the next day and drew cash as there were no ATMs in Copacabana apparently.
Without any alarm I was up at 4.30am and paranoid I had missed the bus. Then again at 5.00am. I gave up and went to the bus station for my 7.30am bus. I killed time and then set off to cross the border. Apparently the ruins near to Copacabana were disappointing if you had come from Peru. I found the ruins in Peru disappointing, so God knows how bad the Bolivian ones are. We crossed over with limited problems except for being annoyed at the instructions in Spanish and English. I hate listening to stuff twice. Woohoo it was country number 51. Bolivia. Could it beat the shit Ecuador and so-so Peru to be king of the Andes?
Peru Part 7: Cuzco and Machu Pichu
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Peru Part 6: Ica and Nazca
I got into Ica and we had a good result in the football. Fought back from 1-0 down to get a 1-1 draw with Aston Villa and could have won it by the end. I took a little motor taxi think out to Huacachina and the sand dunes. Got to the hotel to meet Andreia but my phone did not function there and we did not end up meeting up. I slept all afternoon as I was suffering and still am not quite recovering my sleep. I went out to meet Gina in Ica. I wrote in the margin that hair and bodies are better in Colombia. Not sure what prompted me to write that there and never mind. Probably a bit mental. We met in the square and headed to a house party. Was a bit of a weird party. Noone seemed to be able to communicate properly and everyone sat around in a circle drinking beer from one glass. It was like some Viking ritual, with grunting replacing conversation. Most of my time in Peru was spent in search of decent conversation and it would often prove highly elusive. Education was not their strong point. Then we eventually headed to a club and I think that the girls managed to skank a lot of things of all of the guys they were with. Reminded me of what the German guy said when we were in Peru. That a lot of Peruvian couchsurfers had contacted him to go out and for him to pay. The club was good and there were surprisingly a fair few good looking people there. It was only later that I found out the sanboarding competition was international and these girls were probably foreigners. I think they were disappointed I did not pay for anything, but then I could not drink so why would I. Going out and clubbing was turning into a very cheap night out for me. Of course, as the music was good we had to leave as noone was buying stuff and we went and joined their friends by a car outside. There we listened to shitty salsa music and they drank their friends mixer. By this point I was incredibly bored. Gina suggested I go back to her place, but I could not be bothered as I was lacking motivation from the dull conversation and just took a taxi back to Huacachina.
Andreia knocked on my door to wake me up. I had left her a message online with my room number and she had got it. We went and got breakfast and I bumped into Aussie Scott who I had known from Colombia. Then we met up with some other couchsurfers (a Canadian and a German) to watch the sandboarding finals. There was a lot of ramp jumping, but the sand seemed too slow to really do anything. Most people just dropped over the end. One guy managed to execute a pretty cool backflip and probably won the competition. Idiots with the ATM? If anyone can tell me what I am writing about, answers ona postcard. Liverpool had won and Arsenal lost. I decided to take a bus to Nazca. Huacachina is an expensive desert oasis by the way, but it was a cool place to hangout and very picturesque. I was greeted in Nazca by a guy who sorted me out with a hotel and a tour over the Nazca lines. I asked him if everything was included including the airport tax and he said yes it was. He lied. Bastard. Still he sorted me out with a nice place and I was too tired to go hunting myself. Ah I have remembered the ATM problem. These bastards in town kept sending me the wrong way to ATMs and when I eventually found the only one in town I had left my cards behind. I guess we were all idiots. I arranged to meet the Irish guy Graham in Cuzco and I went to bed and watched the Steelers v Ravens game which the Ravens won in overtime.
I got up for the flights. I had to pay the fucking tax that he assured me was included. The woman at the desk was asking why I was molesting her, but I was trying to assure her that I had been told it would be included in my ticket price. We flew over the Nazca lines and my plane had a French family for company. I hate little planes. Reminded me of the mental pilot in Angel Falls. The pilot was checking everything with a little manual. I was the co-pilot. I am not sure if that made me more nervous or more secure. He should know this stuff surely, but then again it was better to be thorough, no? He was banking a lot on the flight. I hate that. I keep thinking the plane is going to flip over and crash. I kept a close eye on all the gadgets. They seemed to be in the green so that was reassuring. Most of the time we were not high up enough to think you might die if it crashed, but the far end part was over a canyon and I was watching our banks to make sure we were out of the canyon and back in safe crashing territory. The hummingbird and the albatross were the two clearest, but I could not even see the dog and the astronaut was rubbish. The pilot was banking more with the dog so I could see, so i just nodded yes hoping he would right the damn plane. I did not die which was good and it was a worthwhile experience, though not as good as the French seemed to think it was. I had to kill a lot of time in town and really should have done some writing, but I had finished it the night before. The bus was changed from the one I was meant to have and so I lost the included dinner. That was annoying as I had deliberately not eaten dinner in the knowledge I had it on the bus. It was a ridiculously expensive tourist bus as locals don't use that route much, but I did get to watch the film 'Step Up' which I had always quite wanted to see. Was quality.
Andreia knocked on my door to wake me up. I had left her a message online with my room number and she had got it. We went and got breakfast and I bumped into Aussie Scott who I had known from Colombia. Then we met up with some other couchsurfers (a Canadian and a German) to watch the sandboarding finals. There was a lot of ramp jumping, but the sand seemed too slow to really do anything. Most people just dropped over the end. One guy managed to execute a pretty cool backflip and probably won the competition. Idiots with the ATM? If anyone can tell me what I am writing about, answers ona postcard. Liverpool had won and Arsenal lost. I decided to take a bus to Nazca. Huacachina is an expensive desert oasis by the way, but it was a cool place to hangout and very picturesque. I was greeted in Nazca by a guy who sorted me out with a hotel and a tour over the Nazca lines. I asked him if everything was included including the airport tax and he said yes it was. He lied. Bastard. Still he sorted me out with a nice place and I was too tired to go hunting myself. Ah I have remembered the ATM problem. These bastards in town kept sending me the wrong way to ATMs and when I eventually found the only one in town I had left my cards behind. I guess we were all idiots. I arranged to meet the Irish guy Graham in Cuzco and I went to bed and watched the Steelers v Ravens game which the Ravens won in overtime.
I got up for the flights. I had to pay the fucking tax that he assured me was included. The woman at the desk was asking why I was molesting her, but I was trying to assure her that I had been told it would be included in my ticket price. We flew over the Nazca lines and my plane had a French family for company. I hate little planes. Reminded me of the mental pilot in Angel Falls. The pilot was checking everything with a little manual. I was the co-pilot. I am not sure if that made me more nervous or more secure. He should know this stuff surely, but then again it was better to be thorough, no? He was banking a lot on the flight. I hate that. I keep thinking the plane is going to flip over and crash. I kept a close eye on all the gadgets. They seemed to be in the green so that was reassuring. Most of the time we were not high up enough to think you might die if it crashed, but the far end part was over a canyon and I was watching our banks to make sure we were out of the canyon and back in safe crashing territory. The hummingbird and the albatross were the two clearest, but I could not even see the dog and the astronaut was rubbish. The pilot was banking more with the dog so I could see, so i just nodded yes hoping he would right the damn plane. I did not die which was good and it was a worthwhile experience, though not as good as the French seemed to think it was. I had to kill a lot of time in town and really should have done some writing, but I had finished it the night before. The bus was changed from the one I was meant to have and so I lost the included dinner. That was annoying as I had deliberately not eaten dinner in the knowledge I had it on the bus. It was a ridiculously expensive tourist bus as locals don't use that route much, but I did get to watch the film 'Step Up' which I had always quite wanted to see. Was quality.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Peru Part 5: Trujillo, Huaraz and Lima
It was dark and long. Luckily a van driver pulled over and took me for free to the border post, because he told me it was too dangerous for me to stay there. We had to wait a really long time for a taxi to Tumbes on the other side. Some random guy got chatting with me and eventually we managed to get a car after staying by the police for protection. He accompanied me to the bus terminal (which I oddly remembered) and I got a ticket to Trujillo for that night. Last seat on the bus. I needed a shower, but I figured the next day I would finally be back on the road to new places. I got to watch a John Cena film where he is a cop chasing some Irish criminal and got really crap sleep on my way to Trujillo.
The morning film was 'Traitor' with Don Cheadle. Good film I saw in Houston. I arrived in the city of my earache smelling like wee. I walked a lot and got given shit directions. I finally found the bus station for Huaraz and it would be another night bus. Great. I used my credit card to draw money and after more shit directions I eventually found a laundrette to wash my clothes. They were fresh and I was rank, so I kept the older clothes on for now. I got a chip for my phone and the girl at the movistar counter was quite cute. Went to see 2012 at the cinema. I thought it was good. Made me cry a lot. Maybe I am getting sentimental a bit. I took the night bus to Huaraz. I was in all sorts of trouble. Had picked up that stomach infection again and could not sleep between visits to the toilet and head pains. Was a nasty night and left me wiped out after two shit nights of sleep.
I met an Irish girl and guy in the bus station and he had a hostel that was recommended to him so we went there. I got a shower, but I needed some shampoo. At least I did not smell of wee anymore. This hostel was called Caroline Lodging I think. Awesome place. Free breakfast, beds are decent, but the people are great. They went out and bought me medication for my stomach, they went and got my dinner for me and when I woke up late on the second day they did a special breakfast and tea just for me as I was ill. Best service I have ever had from a hostel. Very highly recommended place. We had arrived early so I went out to Chavin de Huantar ruins. Lonely Planet says its a two hour bus ride, but its 3.5 and over dangerous roads. I chatted with a guy all the way there in between sleeping. I wrote 'bit crap, missed entrance again, hate buses on mountain roads, useless people, crazy driver, tried not to shit myself.' Kind of sums up the trip succinctly. It was a bit of a waste of a journey and I have yet to see any impressive ruins in Peru. Everyone talks about them, but I fail to see it. Compared with Mexico and Guatemala they are shit. Hopefully Machu Pichu changes that. I literally did have to avoid shitting myself though. The gas kept building up and building up. I kept retaining it with more and more pain until we arrived thankfully just before I exploded. I was even considering shitting on the bus, such was the pain. Liverpool were happily knocked out of the Champions League. Hopefully we do that to them next season. The Irish guy had picked up diarroeia as well and all of us went to sleep early and I settled in for a long sleep. I had planned to visit the lakes, but that was always off the agenda once I got really sick.
Both myself and the Irish guy could not make it the next morning so we stayed behind and chatted all day. Interesting guy. Had spent time in the Irish army and had some good stories. We went out and grabbed coffee and figured we might meet up in Cuzco as he was going hiking and I was going down the coast for a few days. The Irish girl came back and she was not going to make the trek and was instead heading for Argentina, so she was setting off for Lima. I had booked another night bus (3 in 4 days in not smart) with the expensive company Cruz Del Sur. I was sick so needed it. Trekking looked beautiful up there in Huaraz but I had missed it due to being very very sick. Irish guy said his trek was shit. Don't know why yet. Huaraz the town looks in contrast like a victim of an air raid. Cute it is not. Kind of the same as Gracias in Honduras, which Lonely Planet also strangely likes. The bus was impressive as I tried to sleep, but watched 'Curious Case of Benjamin Button' again in Spanish. They had 'Beautiful Mind' somewhere. Maybe on the way to Ica. Anyway I was stuck next to another FPW (Fat Peruvian Wanker). These creatures ferquent buses and other small places, where they are really too large to go, before pissing you off with their persistant retardedness. Seemingly highly resistant to intelligence, they fall prey easily to their own innate stupidity. Avoid if possible and please don't feed. They´ve had enough already.
Two weeks later than originally planned I arrived in Lima. I was yet to see an impressive Peruvian city. Lima was that. Not amazing, but miles better than what I had seen before. Why do all travellers and Lonely Planet hate big cities. I can imagine Lonely Planey England now.
London: Avoid this city. Its dangerous. There is a distinct possibility that you could be exposed to culture and overwhelmed by choices of night life. It is therefore best to stay in the neighbourhood of Hackney (That way hopefully you will be attacked and hate big cities like us). We have demonstrated time and again our inordinate ability to never find good nightlife zones of a city so we will recommend Leicester Square. Avoid tourists in the National or Tate galleries and instead head to blind al's back alley gallery for some local culture. You can buy authentic indigenous clothing at a variety of adidad tracksuit centres and outside of football stadiums.รง
Watford: Visit this glorious traditional town. No mind if the locals are braindead and the city looks like a bomb site, its authentic and noone will be there until we write about it. You can sample a traditional wetherspoons and learn local dialect as you integrate with thew locals. Transport links are great and you can go hiking in UNESCO Cassiobury Park. Shop for local 'chav' merchandise in the Harlequin Centre and then partake in the traditional saturday night beat up the foreigner celebrations (beware of flaunting your tourist credentials). This town is picturesque and charming (read boring and uninteresting).
Fuck Lonely Planet. I have given up on them except for maps. I wrote here that Peruvian women are like Monet paintings. They look better the further away you get. Its true but a little harsh. After 3 weeks in this country I finally saw some that were good looking. Not amazing, but decent enough. The Pacific Ocean waterfront is really cool and the colonial old town has some nice buildings. They had a crap band playing at the palace and the main gallery was shut. I found and visited a small gallery of Italian art which was quite cool. Brenda had not answered her phone in the morning so I had checked into a hostel. I finally bought some long needed multivitimans and slept in the afternoon. Lima is a nice little city. There was a Canadian nurse who was a typical Canadian. We chatted for a fair bit. Then I went to Brenda's house, out to a bar and back again. I drank some beer and got numbness in my lips and tongue wherever it touched. That was worrying. They have a tiny cat. She had a German and some guys from Bahamas staying with her and the German guy came back hammered. I went back to my hostel.
In the morning I woke up feeling awful despite drinking only two glasses of beer. The Canadian nurse says it was from my allergy and I really need to stop drinking. Makes sense. It looks like it is getting quite dangerous now so I decided to give up for my health and so I don't die as she says it takes only 6 minutes to die from an attack. Nasty. I moved to Brenda's place and would stay there for the friday night. We all stayed in the house chatting. Was quite a big gathering. The guys from Bahamas, the German and me went for a cheap lunch. I told them I was friends with the American guy who had eaten the iguana there and they remembered it. I then went for coffee with one of the guys from the Bahamas. He told me he had been hunting with Mike Huckabee and he was as good a guy as he seemed. I like Huckabee. It would also be cool to go hunting with him and the guy from the Bahamas reckons its possible if I am in Arkansas. That night we went clubbing in a lot of shit bars. I don't think these guys knew where to go and they did not want to pay any entrance fees. That gyponess seems to run through a lot of Peruvians. So they end up in crap places. Eventually me and the guy from the Bahamas (only other person not drinking) went off on our own at 3am and found a few cool places. At 4.30am most places had shut and we headed for another bar. The guy in front was charged 15 soles. I said how much and they told me 30. Fuck them. I told him I heard him say 15 for the other guy and he said ok 20. Fuck these wankers. They always think they can fuck foreigners in the arse. We grabbed some food and headed back to the flat. I did not sleep as I had to get a bus just 1 hour later to Ica for the sandboarding competition.
The morning film was 'Traitor' with Don Cheadle. Good film I saw in Houston. I arrived in the city of my earache smelling like wee. I walked a lot and got given shit directions. I finally found the bus station for Huaraz and it would be another night bus. Great. I used my credit card to draw money and after more shit directions I eventually found a laundrette to wash my clothes. They were fresh and I was rank, so I kept the older clothes on for now. I got a chip for my phone and the girl at the movistar counter was quite cute. Went to see 2012 at the cinema. I thought it was good. Made me cry a lot. Maybe I am getting sentimental a bit. I took the night bus to Huaraz. I was in all sorts of trouble. Had picked up that stomach infection again and could not sleep between visits to the toilet and head pains. Was a nasty night and left me wiped out after two shit nights of sleep.
I met an Irish girl and guy in the bus station and he had a hostel that was recommended to him so we went there. I got a shower, but I needed some shampoo. At least I did not smell of wee anymore. This hostel was called Caroline Lodging I think. Awesome place. Free breakfast, beds are decent, but the people are great. They went out and bought me medication for my stomach, they went and got my dinner for me and when I woke up late on the second day they did a special breakfast and tea just for me as I was ill. Best service I have ever had from a hostel. Very highly recommended place. We had arrived early so I went out to Chavin de Huantar ruins. Lonely Planet says its a two hour bus ride, but its 3.5 and over dangerous roads. I chatted with a guy all the way there in between sleeping. I wrote 'bit crap, missed entrance again, hate buses on mountain roads, useless people, crazy driver, tried not to shit myself.' Kind of sums up the trip succinctly. It was a bit of a waste of a journey and I have yet to see any impressive ruins in Peru. Everyone talks about them, but I fail to see it. Compared with Mexico and Guatemala they are shit. Hopefully Machu Pichu changes that. I literally did have to avoid shitting myself though. The gas kept building up and building up. I kept retaining it with more and more pain until we arrived thankfully just before I exploded. I was even considering shitting on the bus, such was the pain. Liverpool were happily knocked out of the Champions League. Hopefully we do that to them next season. The Irish guy had picked up diarroeia as well and all of us went to sleep early and I settled in for a long sleep. I had planned to visit the lakes, but that was always off the agenda once I got really sick.
Both myself and the Irish guy could not make it the next morning so we stayed behind and chatted all day. Interesting guy. Had spent time in the Irish army and had some good stories. We went out and grabbed coffee and figured we might meet up in Cuzco as he was going hiking and I was going down the coast for a few days. The Irish girl came back and she was not going to make the trek and was instead heading for Argentina, so she was setting off for Lima. I had booked another night bus (3 in 4 days in not smart) with the expensive company Cruz Del Sur. I was sick so needed it. Trekking looked beautiful up there in Huaraz but I had missed it due to being very very sick. Irish guy said his trek was shit. Don't know why yet. Huaraz the town looks in contrast like a victim of an air raid. Cute it is not. Kind of the same as Gracias in Honduras, which Lonely Planet also strangely likes. The bus was impressive as I tried to sleep, but watched 'Curious Case of Benjamin Button' again in Spanish. They had 'Beautiful Mind' somewhere. Maybe on the way to Ica. Anyway I was stuck next to another FPW (Fat Peruvian Wanker). These creatures ferquent buses and other small places, where they are really too large to go, before pissing you off with their persistant retardedness. Seemingly highly resistant to intelligence, they fall prey easily to their own innate stupidity. Avoid if possible and please don't feed. They´ve had enough already.
Two weeks later than originally planned I arrived in Lima. I was yet to see an impressive Peruvian city. Lima was that. Not amazing, but miles better than what I had seen before. Why do all travellers and Lonely Planet hate big cities. I can imagine Lonely Planey England now.
London: Avoid this city. Its dangerous. There is a distinct possibility that you could be exposed to culture and overwhelmed by choices of night life. It is therefore best to stay in the neighbourhood of Hackney (That way hopefully you will be attacked and hate big cities like us). We have demonstrated time and again our inordinate ability to never find good nightlife zones of a city so we will recommend Leicester Square. Avoid tourists in the National or Tate galleries and instead head to blind al's back alley gallery for some local culture. You can buy authentic indigenous clothing at a variety of adidad tracksuit centres and outside of football stadiums.รง
Watford: Visit this glorious traditional town. No mind if the locals are braindead and the city looks like a bomb site, its authentic and noone will be there until we write about it. You can sample a traditional wetherspoons and learn local dialect as you integrate with thew locals. Transport links are great and you can go hiking in UNESCO Cassiobury Park. Shop for local 'chav' merchandise in the Harlequin Centre and then partake in the traditional saturday night beat up the foreigner celebrations (beware of flaunting your tourist credentials). This town is picturesque and charming (read boring and uninteresting).
Fuck Lonely Planet. I have given up on them except for maps. I wrote here that Peruvian women are like Monet paintings. They look better the further away you get. Its true but a little harsh. After 3 weeks in this country I finally saw some that were good looking. Not amazing, but decent enough. The Pacific Ocean waterfront is really cool and the colonial old town has some nice buildings. They had a crap band playing at the palace and the main gallery was shut. I found and visited a small gallery of Italian art which was quite cool. Brenda had not answered her phone in the morning so I had checked into a hostel. I finally bought some long needed multivitimans and slept in the afternoon. Lima is a nice little city. There was a Canadian nurse who was a typical Canadian. We chatted for a fair bit. Then I went to Brenda's house, out to a bar and back again. I drank some beer and got numbness in my lips and tongue wherever it touched. That was worrying. They have a tiny cat. She had a German and some guys from Bahamas staying with her and the German guy came back hammered. I went back to my hostel.
In the morning I woke up feeling awful despite drinking only two glasses of beer. The Canadian nurse says it was from my allergy and I really need to stop drinking. Makes sense. It looks like it is getting quite dangerous now so I decided to give up for my health and so I don't die as she says it takes only 6 minutes to die from an attack. Nasty. I moved to Brenda's place and would stay there for the friday night. We all stayed in the house chatting. Was quite a big gathering. The guys from Bahamas, the German and me went for a cheap lunch. I told them I was friends with the American guy who had eaten the iguana there and they remembered it. I then went for coffee with one of the guys from the Bahamas. He told me he had been hunting with Mike Huckabee and he was as good a guy as he seemed. I like Huckabee. It would also be cool to go hunting with him and the guy from the Bahamas reckons its possible if I am in Arkansas. That night we went clubbing in a lot of shit bars. I don't think these guys knew where to go and they did not want to pay any entrance fees. That gyponess seems to run through a lot of Peruvians. So they end up in crap places. Eventually me and the guy from the Bahamas (only other person not drinking) went off on our own at 3am and found a few cool places. At 4.30am most places had shut and we headed for another bar. The guy in front was charged 15 soles. I said how much and they told me 30. Fuck them. I told him I heard him say 15 for the other guy and he said ok 20. Fuck these wankers. They always think they can fuck foreigners in the arse. We grabbed some food and headed back to the flat. I did not sleep as I had to get a bus just 1 hour later to Ica for the sandboarding competition.
Ecuador Part 6: Quito and Cuenca
I was still fucking ill. Was having lung and breathing problems. I had not quite twigged yet that my allergy was taking on a stronger proportion. Still no light so I had to walk all the way into the city centre to check my e-mail. I could not see Liz today, so I used the day to finish of my writing. Felt good to get my nlog up to date at last and I am now vowing and trying hard to keep the thing up to speed, with regular updates that I used to do. Currently its going well as I am about 10 days back here. I tried to go to a pub quiz with some Swedish couchsurfer for the evening, but I could not pick them out in the heavily Gringo packed bar. So I went online and that stupid bitch who me and Dom had failed to get rid of last time in Quito found me again somehow and kept tapping me with her rose. Puta.
No electricity again. Met Liz. The hotel wanted $5 more if she was staying for more than 20 minutes. Who the hell is going to have sex in under 20 minutes. The world's least energetic couple. Useless. She was on her period and for the first time I decided ah fuck it its not important. She ended up staying for 5 hours and the bed got covered in a fair bit of blood. The hotel staff never seemed to complain though, which was nice of them. I suppose the $5 covered the cleaning bill. We ended up sharing a shower to clean off the blood. Was fun, just a shame it limits what you can do as I am not a fan of the taste of blood. She left to study and I went and found pizz hut. Why I keep getting cravings for that place I don't know. I am always disappointed everytime I eat there and this time they burnt it. Fuckers. I had bought my first book in Spanish as well. Marqeuz's 'Chronicles of a Death Foretold.' Have yet to start it but hope it will imrpove my vocabulary knowledge. Algeria, Greece, Portugal (Hate Ronaldo), Slovenia, France (by the hand of Henry) and Uruguay completed the line up. The draw is this thursday. Will hopefully be back from Machu Pichu in time.
I met Liz again the next day and she came back to the hotel again. We just spent all our afternoons lounging around and having fun. I decided I would make a move on the saturday for Cuenca. I went out to meet some couchsurfers but ended up at the wrong coffee shop. When I eventually found them they took me to some weird dragstrip part of town where everyone hung around their cars, which were blaring out music. We went to a rock bar and played a lot of table football and pool, before ending the night chatting about global politics in Spanish. I am getting there slowly. I had not spoken any English since leaving Bogota as well and would not really speak it at all in Ecuador.
I went to meet Liz by her university and then we went to the cheap Chinese place for lunch. They gave us these horribly bitter little mandarin things, that the old man/woman/thing spent all day peeling. Liz reckoned it was a gay man, I thought it was an old woman. Either way the mandarins were not pleasant. I maxed out my Nat West card. That was one card down and I would only touch my Nationwide cards from now on. We spent 7 hours together in the hotel for the last day we would have together. Being latin america and her being 19, she was never going to be able to stay the night. She was crying a lot when we separated and seemed genuine. I had figured she saw me as foreign meat, but I think maybe I had her wrong. She said the week was magical and hopefully I will see her again in Buenos Aires. She dances tango very well, so she said we should dance after I have lessons, but I figure I will be too low a standard lol. Some English girl invited me to a party, but I opted out because I wanted to get some sleep and was leaving early in the morning. Some weird taxi ended up stalking me over the pedestrian crossing. God Ecuador is dangerous at night. No people in the streets and no street lighting.
I had only $51.35 left. I hope my mum did the transfer. She had for 100 quid, but it would not arrive in time so I would have to start using the credit card. Taxi wanted $15 for the bus station. Fucking ladron. I ended up paying $10 to cross Quito and $10 to go all the way across Ecuador to Cuenca. Something is not right there. It was a big day for Spurs' rivals. I hate these high roads the buses go over. Especially with the drivers down here. Some of these people speak retard Spanish. I got to watch 'Taken' and 'Ironman' again. Great. Some bastard in the lunch restaurant insisted on speaking to me in English, even though I was consistently using Spanish. Idiot. I booked into a hotel near the terminal and was finally going to meet Gabriela after we missed each other last time. All the results went for us. Man City drew with Liverpool, Villa drew and Arsenal lost. I saw an old musician play in the park and then met Gabriela, her friend and a Yankee at the cathedral. She is very hot. You can only say that about Cuencans in this country. We went to the mirador which has a great view and afterwards for coffee in my old hostel from last time. Brought back great memories of being drunk and very sick on antibiotics and rum lol. She is coming to Buenos Aires in march so we will meet up for some tango and I went back to the hotel, avoided the fat prostitute and settled in to decide which of my two channels I would watch.
9-1. FUCK YEAH. That's how my day started off as Tottenham took full advantage of their rivals weaknesses to smash Wigan. Bring on Villa I wrote. That lifts the energy. Shame it was to be wasted on two back to back night buses. I watched a Dennis Quaid film called Pandorum or some such. I really enjoyed it, except when some idiot Ecuadorean stood in front of the tv for ages and the fact that they turned it off with 5 minutes still to play. God I hate this country. Bus was really quick and we passed through some shithole before we got to Machala. Then we entered Machala which is also a shithole. I remembered the town and grabbed a bus to the border where I ended up walking across into Peru. Woohoo. Out of Ecuador. Just a long and dangerous walk to the Peruvian checkpoint.
No electricity again. Met Liz. The hotel wanted $5 more if she was staying for more than 20 minutes. Who the hell is going to have sex in under 20 minutes. The world's least energetic couple. Useless. She was on her period and for the first time I decided ah fuck it its not important. She ended up staying for 5 hours and the bed got covered in a fair bit of blood. The hotel staff never seemed to complain though, which was nice of them. I suppose the $5 covered the cleaning bill. We ended up sharing a shower to clean off the blood. Was fun, just a shame it limits what you can do as I am not a fan of the taste of blood. She left to study and I went and found pizz hut. Why I keep getting cravings for that place I don't know. I am always disappointed everytime I eat there and this time they burnt it. Fuckers. I had bought my first book in Spanish as well. Marqeuz's 'Chronicles of a Death Foretold.' Have yet to start it but hope it will imrpove my vocabulary knowledge. Algeria, Greece, Portugal (Hate Ronaldo), Slovenia, France (by the hand of Henry) and Uruguay completed the line up. The draw is this thursday. Will hopefully be back from Machu Pichu in time.
I met Liz again the next day and she came back to the hotel again. We just spent all our afternoons lounging around and having fun. I decided I would make a move on the saturday for Cuenca. I went out to meet some couchsurfers but ended up at the wrong coffee shop. When I eventually found them they took me to some weird dragstrip part of town where everyone hung around their cars, which were blaring out music. We went to a rock bar and played a lot of table football and pool, before ending the night chatting about global politics in Spanish. I am getting there slowly. I had not spoken any English since leaving Bogota as well and would not really speak it at all in Ecuador.
I went to meet Liz by her university and then we went to the cheap Chinese place for lunch. They gave us these horribly bitter little mandarin things, that the old man/woman/thing spent all day peeling. Liz reckoned it was a gay man, I thought it was an old woman. Either way the mandarins were not pleasant. I maxed out my Nat West card. That was one card down and I would only touch my Nationwide cards from now on. We spent 7 hours together in the hotel for the last day we would have together. Being latin america and her being 19, she was never going to be able to stay the night. She was crying a lot when we separated and seemed genuine. I had figured she saw me as foreign meat, but I think maybe I had her wrong. She said the week was magical and hopefully I will see her again in Buenos Aires. She dances tango very well, so she said we should dance after I have lessons, but I figure I will be too low a standard lol. Some English girl invited me to a party, but I opted out because I wanted to get some sleep and was leaving early in the morning. Some weird taxi ended up stalking me over the pedestrian crossing. God Ecuador is dangerous at night. No people in the streets and no street lighting.
I had only $51.35 left. I hope my mum did the transfer. She had for 100 quid, but it would not arrive in time so I would have to start using the credit card. Taxi wanted $15 for the bus station. Fucking ladron. I ended up paying $10 to cross Quito and $10 to go all the way across Ecuador to Cuenca. Something is not right there. It was a big day for Spurs' rivals. I hate these high roads the buses go over. Especially with the drivers down here. Some of these people speak retard Spanish. I got to watch 'Taken' and 'Ironman' again. Great. Some bastard in the lunch restaurant insisted on speaking to me in English, even though I was consistently using Spanish. Idiot. I booked into a hotel near the terminal and was finally going to meet Gabriela after we missed each other last time. All the results went for us. Man City drew with Liverpool, Villa drew and Arsenal lost. I saw an old musician play in the park and then met Gabriela, her friend and a Yankee at the cathedral. She is very hot. You can only say that about Cuencans in this country. We went to the mirador which has a great view and afterwards for coffee in my old hostel from last time. Brought back great memories of being drunk and very sick on antibiotics and rum lol. She is coming to Buenos Aires in march so we will meet up for some tango and I went back to the hotel, avoided the fat prostitute and settled in to decide which of my two channels I would watch.
9-1. FUCK YEAH. That's how my day started off as Tottenham took full advantage of their rivals weaknesses to smash Wigan. Bring on Villa I wrote. That lifts the energy. Shame it was to be wasted on two back to back night buses. I watched a Dennis Quaid film called Pandorum or some such. I really enjoyed it, except when some idiot Ecuadorean stood in front of the tv for ages and the fact that they turned it off with 5 minutes still to play. God I hate this country. Bus was really quick and we passed through some shithole before we got to Machala. Then we entered Machala which is also a shithole. I remembered the town and grabbed a bus to the border where I ended up walking across into Peru. Woohoo. Out of Ecuador. Just a long and dangerous walk to the Peruvian checkpoint.
Ecuador Part 5: Tulcan and Quito
I was hailing a taxi, but the guy wanted $3.50. I only had $3 so would have to pass a cash machine. Then a woman from Medellin asked if she could share the taxi and chip in a bit. Was fine by me. Had only just crossed the border, but was already missing Colombian company. She persuaded me it was late to get a bus and I should stay in the town for the night. I stated it was probably a good idea and checked into a hotel before heading for dinner with her. We ended up heading out to sing some Karaoke. The place was full of drunks and she was a better singer than me, but the machine was an idiot and ranked my version of November Rain as 97%. Hmm maybe if Axl Rose needs replacing I'm their man, but somehow I doubt it. The machine seemed biased towards Spanish songs in general. She sold jewelry in the streets of Ecuador and Peru etc and was staying behind to work. We had a power cut in the night. This would be recurring. It seems that the Ecuadorean government does not have sufficient power for its country. What a surprise. I did not remember this happening last time, but everyday I was in Ecuador we would be without power of somekind.
International House were not helpful with the job application and my results had still not been sent. I asked Leonardo if he could look into it for me. I mised the girl from Medellin for breakfast, but we agreed to meet up again in Bolivia if we got the chance. It had taken me precisely two hours to hate Ecuador again. Never takes long. Stupid bastards were really unhelpful in the streets. Colombia had also got to the U-17 semi finals. They would be smashed 4-1 by eventual winners Switzerland. I went off to Quito to meet Liz. The film seemed to involve Segal, Trejo and some dreadlock criminals. Looked good. Any film with both Trejo and Segal must be golden. Its like a major scene from our never written film 'Fight House'. I arrived late, because even Ecuadorean buses are incompetent. I could not find the hotel the girl from Medellin recommended so settled for any hotel and got some rest as Liz could not make it.
I went off to the old town. Liz did not turn up. Well actually she did, but she was late. They had all the Miss Quito contestants in the square. Its then that you know this country is quite ugly. They were all ok, but Lina is better looking than all of them. I got my pass grade B for the CELTA. Class. Difficult to get that, but I figured I had an outside chance, especially after the last lesson was delivered in front of the moderator. Ekhaterina got an A. Always thought she had a good chance after a monster run of Above Standards. I spoke to both of my parents as it had been awhile. Met another Ecuadorean retard. They taunt me everywhere.
'How much is this?'
'Its a lemonade'
Fuckwit. Of course that took place in Spanish.
I ended up going out with Liz and her quasi boyfriend/not really boyfriend/dude from Cuenca. Take you pick what you want to call him. She had not told me how much the gig was, so I had to go back to the hotel again as I had only brought $21. Entrance was $15. I met her twin sister as well. Very sexy. Dom missed out here. Sitting down in an old abandoned theatre for an electronic gig is kind of weird. Normally you dance. Still it was fun. Not sure if I swapped drinks for a drink that was spiked as felt a huge surge of energy and a little light headed later. Ended up flirting with the sister as Liz was with quasi man, but all of them had to study and I went back on my own. Had a bar themed on the Simpsons near my hotel, but I never ended up going there. Thought about it many times.
I wrote 'NO FUCKING LIGHT EVER: THIRD WORLD COUNTRY.' Sums it up pretty well. Was frustrating that my district was not allowed light in the mornings. I spent all day writing and Egypt got some late drama scoring in the 95th minute to get a one off replay with Algeria for the World Cup. New Zealand, Cameroon and Nigeria qualified. All the big African sides will be there for their continent's showpiece. Looks like they can mount a challenge this time. How the fuck New Zealand got there is a joke. Beat some Pacific Islanders and Bahrain. They should scrap the Ocenia qualifying zone and shove them all in Asia and give Asia 5 places. Liz and the girl from Medellin never made it so I ended up drinking with a Belgian, Estonian and some Ecuadoreans in La Mariscal. The Estonian guy thought me being British would mean he can't practice his Spanish. I spoke better Spanish than both of the guys.
I got up on the sunday and Liz was still not available. She was studying law and had to revise for all of the upcoming exams. She had 2 every day of that week. I thought I should just leave, but figured I had a lot of writing still to do so I would give it one more day. Always go with your instincts. I think I am now travelling in a much more sensible manner, with pacing and decision making, but then I am a very different person to a year ago. May even be able to see this when you read my earlier stuff. Will have to go back to check. I wrote 4 more chapters and was getting there. Saints are still killing it. Every time I adopt an American team they start doing well. Redsocks won their first world series in ages the year after I adopted them and the Saits are now 10-0 the year after I adopted them. Watch them take that first superbowl. Would have been good to watch the New England game tomorrow. Still not sure how they managed to lose to the Colts. Idiot decision making. Maybe Bellichick had some Ecuadorean advisors. Yoana was considering coming down from Mexico for Patagonia. Need to write to her actually. I considered the Galapagos again, but again ruled it out. Was not really doing much in Quito. I walked off to the cinema only to find out that it was full and I could not see anything.
I wrote in the morning 'seeing Liz today, want to sleep with her.' Hmm funny how you hit your predictions sometimes. Its odd being back up on reasonable real time for the blog. Stops me from using hindsight which I think ruins entries. I met Liz and we went for a tour of the old town before I kissed her. Got some lunch and then she came back to the hostel. Had to sneak past the guard at the front desk as no guests allowed. Was funny as I had moved back to the hostel I had stayed with Dom last time. I had the same 6 bed room and had it to myself again. Ended up sleeping with her in Dom's old bed. I thought that was ironically funny. Bunkbeds are crap`for this sort of thing though as one person's head is always in danger of getting whacked. I said I would move back to a hotel in the following days. She left to revise and I went and did some more writing. Still no fucking light so I went to sleep.
International House were not helpful with the job application and my results had still not been sent. I asked Leonardo if he could look into it for me. I mised the girl from Medellin for breakfast, but we agreed to meet up again in Bolivia if we got the chance. It had taken me precisely two hours to hate Ecuador again. Never takes long. Stupid bastards were really unhelpful in the streets. Colombia had also got to the U-17 semi finals. They would be smashed 4-1 by eventual winners Switzerland. I went off to Quito to meet Liz. The film seemed to involve Segal, Trejo and some dreadlock criminals. Looked good. Any film with both Trejo and Segal must be golden. Its like a major scene from our never written film 'Fight House'. I arrived late, because even Ecuadorean buses are incompetent. I could not find the hotel the girl from Medellin recommended so settled for any hotel and got some rest as Liz could not make it.
I went off to the old town. Liz did not turn up. Well actually she did, but she was late. They had all the Miss Quito contestants in the square. Its then that you know this country is quite ugly. They were all ok, but Lina is better looking than all of them. I got my pass grade B for the CELTA. Class. Difficult to get that, but I figured I had an outside chance, especially after the last lesson was delivered in front of the moderator. Ekhaterina got an A. Always thought she had a good chance after a monster run of Above Standards. I spoke to both of my parents as it had been awhile. Met another Ecuadorean retard. They taunt me everywhere.
'How much is this?'
'Its a lemonade'
Fuckwit. Of course that took place in Spanish.
I ended up going out with Liz and her quasi boyfriend/not really boyfriend/dude from Cuenca. Take you pick what you want to call him. She had not told me how much the gig was, so I had to go back to the hotel again as I had only brought $21. Entrance was $15. I met her twin sister as well. Very sexy. Dom missed out here. Sitting down in an old abandoned theatre for an electronic gig is kind of weird. Normally you dance. Still it was fun. Not sure if I swapped drinks for a drink that was spiked as felt a huge surge of energy and a little light headed later. Ended up flirting with the sister as Liz was with quasi man, but all of them had to study and I went back on my own. Had a bar themed on the Simpsons near my hotel, but I never ended up going there. Thought about it many times.
I wrote 'NO FUCKING LIGHT EVER: THIRD WORLD COUNTRY.' Sums it up pretty well. Was frustrating that my district was not allowed light in the mornings. I spent all day writing and Egypt got some late drama scoring in the 95th minute to get a one off replay with Algeria for the World Cup. New Zealand, Cameroon and Nigeria qualified. All the big African sides will be there for their continent's showpiece. Looks like they can mount a challenge this time. How the fuck New Zealand got there is a joke. Beat some Pacific Islanders and Bahrain. They should scrap the Ocenia qualifying zone and shove them all in Asia and give Asia 5 places. Liz and the girl from Medellin never made it so I ended up drinking with a Belgian, Estonian and some Ecuadoreans in La Mariscal. The Estonian guy thought me being British would mean he can't practice his Spanish. I spoke better Spanish than both of the guys.
I got up on the sunday and Liz was still not available. She was studying law and had to revise for all of the upcoming exams. She had 2 every day of that week. I thought I should just leave, but figured I had a lot of writing still to do so I would give it one more day. Always go with your instincts. I think I am now travelling in a much more sensible manner, with pacing and decision making, but then I am a very different person to a year ago. May even be able to see this when you read my earlier stuff. Will have to go back to check. I wrote 4 more chapters and was getting there. Saints are still killing it. Every time I adopt an American team they start doing well. Redsocks won their first world series in ages the year after I adopted them and the Saits are now 10-0 the year after I adopted them. Watch them take that first superbowl. Would have been good to watch the New England game tomorrow. Still not sure how they managed to lose to the Colts. Idiot decision making. Maybe Bellichick had some Ecuadorean advisors. Yoana was considering coming down from Mexico for Patagonia. Need to write to her actually. I considered the Galapagos again, but again ruled it out. Was not really doing much in Quito. I walked off to the cinema only to find out that it was full and I could not see anything.
I wrote in the morning 'seeing Liz today, want to sleep with her.' Hmm funny how you hit your predictions sometimes. Its odd being back up on reasonable real time for the blog. Stops me from using hindsight which I think ruins entries. I met Liz and we went for a tour of the old town before I kissed her. Got some lunch and then she came back to the hostel. Had to sneak past the guard at the front desk as no guests allowed. Was funny as I had moved back to the hostel I had stayed with Dom last time. I had the same 6 bed room and had it to myself again. Ended up sleeping with her in Dom's old bed. I thought that was ironically funny. Bunkbeds are crap`for this sort of thing though as one person's head is always in danger of getting whacked. I said I would move back to a hotel in the following days. She left to revise and I went and did some more writing. Still no fucking light so I went to sleep.
Top 10: Colombia, Venezuela, Ecuador and the Guyanas
Top 4 pick themselves, but could easily have changed places. All of them I would happily live in. 5 and 6 are stunning places and I could probably live there for 3 months due to the size. Its a pretty impressive zone for cities here.
1. Bogota (Colombia): Could so easily have been Caracas, but I had a great 3 months here and will always remember it fondly. Its also the first place I have lived abroad. Like London in the day, very good cultural scene, good nightlife, lots to do. Just a top class city.
2. Caracasc (Venezuela): Another top drawer city. Its like London at night. Has by far the best nightlife I have scene in the Americas and the women are stunning. I would live here as well if it was not for the idiot Chavez. Great cultural scene and the best art galleries in Latin America. Can't understand its panned reputation.
3. Cali (Colombia): The people here are awesome, the nightlife is superb and the women are stunning. After San Juan and Caracas they are the next best looking. Not much to do in the day here, which probably puts it after the other two, but fuck me what a nightlife. Considering here, Caracas or Manizales for after Buenos Aires.
4. Manizales (Colombia): Nicest and most intelligent people in Colombia and that's saying something. This city is a tad small, but is like a slice of Switzerland. The other Zona Cafetera cities are also class. Size keeps this place at number 4.
5. Cuenca (Ecuador): Its well documented how much I hate Ecuador, but this place is just different. From the Guanajuato league of beautiful cities, the people are freindly, good looking, intelligent and honest (All rare in Ecuador).
6. Paramaraibo (Surinam): I love this city as well. Shame its in the middle of nowhere. Beautiful meltingpot of a colonial city. Like Salem, mixed with Charleston, with some Asian fusion, left to simmer in an African pot on the coast of South America and leaves a spicey mix behind.
7. Parque Tayrona (Colombia): Not really a city but a superb place. Best beach place I have been to because of the jungles and the mountains.
8. Banos (Ecuador): Very touristy but its from the Santa Elena/Monteverde school of touristy and therefore beautiful and fun.
9. Mompos (Colombia): Superb little slice of Mississippi. Beautiful and often overlooked by travellers.
10. Cartagena (Colombia): Much as I dislike Cartagena and Medellin for the people, there is no doubt the former city has to make the list, just by being an unbelievably stunning city. Its pretty beyond words, just a shame about the gringos and putas.
1. Bogota (Colombia): Could so easily have been Caracas, but I had a great 3 months here and will always remember it fondly. Its also the first place I have lived abroad. Like London in the day, very good cultural scene, good nightlife, lots to do. Just a top class city.
2. Caracasc (Venezuela): Another top drawer city. Its like London at night. Has by far the best nightlife I have scene in the Americas and the women are stunning. I would live here as well if it was not for the idiot Chavez. Great cultural scene and the best art galleries in Latin America. Can't understand its panned reputation.
3. Cali (Colombia): The people here are awesome, the nightlife is superb and the women are stunning. After San Juan and Caracas they are the next best looking. Not much to do in the day here, which probably puts it after the other two, but fuck me what a nightlife. Considering here, Caracas or Manizales for after Buenos Aires.
4. Manizales (Colombia): Nicest and most intelligent people in Colombia and that's saying something. This city is a tad small, but is like a slice of Switzerland. The other Zona Cafetera cities are also class. Size keeps this place at number 4.
5. Cuenca (Ecuador): Its well documented how much I hate Ecuador, but this place is just different. From the Guanajuato league of beautiful cities, the people are freindly, good looking, intelligent and honest (All rare in Ecuador).
6. Paramaraibo (Surinam): I love this city as well. Shame its in the middle of nowhere. Beautiful meltingpot of a colonial city. Like Salem, mixed with Charleston, with some Asian fusion, left to simmer in an African pot on the coast of South America and leaves a spicey mix behind.
7. Parque Tayrona (Colombia): Not really a city but a superb place. Best beach place I have been to because of the jungles and the mountains.
8. Banos (Ecuador): Very touristy but its from the Santa Elena/Monteverde school of touristy and therefore beautiful and fun.
9. Mompos (Colombia): Superb little slice of Mississippi. Beautiful and often overlooked by travellers.
10. Cartagena (Colombia): Much as I dislike Cartagena and Medellin for the people, there is no doubt the former city has to make the list, just by being an unbelievably stunning city. Its pretty beyond words, just a shame about the gringos and putas.
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