Colombia Part 3: Ciudad Perdida

I have brought my tail up to nearly 2 weeks now, so a six day hike should eat into the deficit a little more. I am listening to Promentary from Last of the Mohican as well, but its 2am and the alcohol is wearing off. Still this soundtrack rocks. It was sunday morning and we were off to Ciudad Perdida. The roll call included the aforementioned 5, an Israeli guy (Itay), one German guy (Jo), two German girls (Laura, Dafne), one English guy (Charlie), one Candian girl (Michelle) and and old Colombian couple (don't remember their names and they never really hiked with us, because he was slower and left early and she went by horse. But they did make it so fair play to them. We used to use the time when we overtook them as an indication of our walking pace. We took a rollercoaster jeep ride over rough terrain to the onset of the trek. Most of the groups tended to be all guys so at a 6/5 ratio we were fairly healthily balanced. I got to know Steph and Charlie a bit in the jeep as we were all bundled in the back with Dom. The first day was fairly easy hiking. Dom and I reckon its possible to do this hike in three days overall. One day each way and a rest day in the middle. We stopped after a short stroll at a bathing place where everyone had a swim. Afterwards, Jo, Eric, myself and Dom pushed ahead (as would prove to be the case always. I ended up actually walking with the guide for brief parts of a couple of mornings. So we effectively walked it unguided as the trail is fairly obvious). We ended up taking on a very steep long hill with the horse and some dogs. We did some bonding over awful jokes and the statements that the dogs understood Catalan and shat in my path because Dom had ordered them to. The three of us (Eric had stopped to wait) made base camp about 50 minutes before the others and I had a dog threesome acting as a fluffer. While one of the dogs leapt up onto my lap, the other saw it as a perfect opportunity to take her from behind. Was an interesting scenario. We played a small ball game and at this point we realised the hike was going to involve a lot of sitting around. I had not brought a book, would regret it and we settled into some weed smoking (courtesy of Itay) and some games of Shithead. Then we retired into hammocks and I got a slightly better sleep than last time.

I got up early and brained myself on the hatch flap. I did not bother with a shower and we had a shit soup before setting off hiking again. The trail is very picturesque and winds through some impressive mountain scenery. Apart from a couple of steep hills on day one and day five its not that strenuous and could easily be undertaken by anyone. It makes me suspicious that my fears on the Inca Trail are founded and that they have set a thoroughly slow pace for the non hikers to cruise it. We passed a school and descended to a rest stop (there were far too many of these). We were then offered the chance to go and see a Coca (cocaine factory). Rumour had it that this was really just a shed where they gave instructions on how it was made and then offered a sample. Hmm did not sound appealing for the extra money. I would not sample it, I have seen many sheds, my Spanish is not good enough to follow technical stuff and I could easily read it online. So myself, the German girls and the Candians opted out. We set off again and Eric and I stormed off ahead with one of the horses. It was too slow however so we decided to overtake it to see if it would hold our pace. It just stopped. It was only progressing because it thought we were driving it. Ah well. We abandoned the horse with only a little trepidation, though this was greatly increased when we never saw the horse again. One native hut told us this was where we were sleeping and so we stopped only to be misinformed when Carlos the cook caught up with us. We stopped forever at this river while we waited for the others to catch us and met another group consisting of Israeli guys and one Englishman. Because they had no women in their group, they elected to hang with us for ages and smarm on the girls a bit. We could not be arsed with the native village, because it felt cheap after the Darien and Jo and I stormed off ahead. We were caught by Dom just as we made the lodgings. They had a good natural swimming pool with very strong currents at the second place. The three of us went for a swim and did some bouldering. We were joined by Eric and when we made it back to camp we were informed there was a bed problem and two people had to volunteer for hammocks. Two people had said they would do it if noone else wanted, which should have solved the problem. But it turns out they did not want to really volunteer and seemed to be just trying to be magnanimous. Then typically English deliberations started to come out. I remembered problems I had with my countrymen. Oh well I had a bed and in the end only American Laura had to take a hammock. We played some Yanif and Jackson Five, before flying through a bottle of Aguardiente that Itay had brought with him.

Day three. This hike got repetitive. Blaze off ahead of the group. Arrive early. Wait around. Eat average food. Play cards. Sleep. The other group who had shared the shelter with us had some good looking French girls and a stunning Colombian. Its remarkable how your standards shift when you are out in the middle of the jungle. Eric and I shot off ahead in the morning and got up to the native village. They had hidden their tv and just turned off the radio. Ah nothing like hiding from the gringos all the modern conveniences eh. I played peek-a-boo with one of the kids and then others started taking photos. Our guide Wilmer said we could not walk off ahead because we would not know which of the three trails to take. He could just have told us, but of course that would have been too easy. When he eventually had to show us, he told us not to go any further than the river. Dom and I shot off ahead as we were bored of slow hiking and wanted to do some proper walking like on Chirippo. We got to the river after a fapid fire scramble. Well we were supposed to wait, but there were some of the native food carriers there. They said the trail went left and we would have to cross the river seven more times. Cool. We took the risk and shot off on our own. Then we came to the river again. And now we were stuck. Wading and probing the river sides we could not decide on the correct trial. Eventually I figured we would have to abandon the hunt, but just then the food carriers came stroming along. They veritably flew along, even with their burdens. They just glided over the surface and you could see by their footsteps how easily they moved. I forded the river and tried to catch them while Dom scrambled back. I found the other trail, lost the guys, but realised I could track them by bits of water or mud left as markers on the stones. This was fun. Tracking native guides along the trail to the lost city. I scrambled along until we lost the trail at the river again. Dom had caught me and there was a native house on the other bank. They pointed us in the right direction and we were off and running again. We picked up the tracks again and followed them to the river again. Now it suggested they crossed here, but I had found an alternate trail on the right. Both me and Dom thought we saw trail markers in both ways. I forded the river but could pick up no trail there. Damn. We had to wait. Nope. We decided stupidly to gamble and take the trail. By now we were deeply gambling in the FARC territory of Colombia with rapidly diminishing water and ideas. This trail was overgrown and I reckoned it was an old trail they used to use (that was apparently correct). We took it over all the rickety obstacles. I fell off the trail twice (once through a log ala Darien) and Dom fell once. We had some difficult scrambles and found some abandoned snake skin. Eventually we descended to the river again and saw some stone steps on the other side. It had to be Ciudad Perdida. What other reason would there be for stone steps in the jungle. We had made it and found the city ourselves. We only did four river crossings as well, because the last four were negated by the old trail. It is obviously possible to walk directly down the river from the first fording point and just look for the steps up on the left. That would definitely be the simplest option, though not necessarily the most fun. We saw Carlos approcahing from behind at this point and realised it must be correct (We did not know until later that Wilmur had sent Carlos to find us after we had pushed on at the river). These stairs were the antithesis of the Stairway to Heaven. 1900 brutal stairs in total at the end of a strenuously paced hike. We eventually trundled up them and waited for Carlos. He arrived and took us to the camp past the masses of military that patroled the site to keep away any threats to tourists. We walked up through the site and it was a very beautiful vista. The green circular platforms had been skillfully restored and the whole place was elevated in the middle of the valley. It would suffer from the cold in the night, when the clouds of fog would roll in and descend into the camp. We briefly explored the site alone, before heading up to base camp and having an ice cold shower directly from the waterfall behind the site. About an hour and a bit later we could see the others arriving at the site. We decided to go walk and greet them and were warmly greeted by Wilmur's 'I´m going to fucking kill you'. I think it was safe to say that he was a little pissed at the fact that we shot off without him and had basically hiked off into the jungle on our own. We demonstrated a little bit of trepidation in returning to the camp, but he said nothing more so I am guessing that Carlos must have explained the situation to him. Charlie, Dom and I decided to go out around the ruins and thw two of them took loads of photos while we were eaten alive by the mosquitos. Charlie sat down on one of the stones for a photo and then fell off with the stone. Shit we had broken Ciudad Perdida. It was like humpty dumpty as we scrambled to lift the big stone back into its rightful place in the ruins. We then got chatting with some of the soldiers there. They seemed really cool. It was a contrast to the police in Taganga who I had always been warily observing to try to work out which of them had robbed our friend. They were all corrupt, but the truly dangerous ones were the violent ones. The soldiers scrambled to trade items with us. They offered us a gun for one of the women. Dom did mention to them that with a gun they could just really take what they wanted. We then ended up video taping them dismantling and remantling their guns to see who was fastest. They fired off blank rounds to give Dom a bullet and they discharged gunpowder and set it alight to burn out some images. It was a fun distraction and at least gave us something to kill some of the excess hours. Then we got back to camp and had to kill some more time. So what did we do. We played cards of course. Now at this point I will bring up the sleeping arrangements for that night. There were a few private beds (all taken) and one giant communal six mattress bed for seven of us. As last one up I dipped out on a mattress. And I lost out on the blankets. I was to sleep exposed in just shorts and a t-shirt. This night was hell on earth. I struggled to get to sleep and then the bitter cold started to knife through me. There was a sheet covering the mattresses and I scarmbled under that. It took the cold from life threatening down to brutally uncomfortable. It was also pinned down on either side by Eric and Dom, which meant that it crushed all of my limbs very uncomfortably and allowed me no room for maneuvour. I think I slept no more than 15 minutes that night. It was without doubt the shittest nights sleep I have ever had and Jo remarked quite accurately that I looked dead in the morning.

The morning of day four I was like a dead man walking. We took the tour of the site in the morning and it was quite informative. Stand out facts are the apparent truth that there were no weapons for the Tayronas before the Spanish arrived (that sounds like bollocks). Also women in the tribe even today are married off when they start menstruating. If a man ends up with a barren wife he is allowed to choose another woman and the barren woman is used by all of the members of the tribe as practice for their own wives. Sort of like being pimped out really. I was destroyed at this point and took a short siesta. Then I decided to push on ahead rapìdly with Eric and Jo to guarantee a bed at the other side. Dom had been suffering from some sort of foot fungus on the trip and this was the day it began to get really bad and he struggle with the hiking. After some seriously good hiking (the others barefoot, me using my shit shoes that always get water duty for the last time), we took the river route this time and stormed back to camp. We met some of the soldiers part way and got the ubiquitous hostage photo where we are held at gun point. We got back to the camp from day 2 and had a quick swim. Current was weaker, but so was I. I grabbed a bed and as there were only seven for that night staked my claim. Laura also got one of them as she had been left without a bed last time. I figured we had the strongest claims. Then I slept till dinner, woke up and found out some people had wanted to speed up and get back in five days. We needed nine. We had five including my vote that was given in my absence. Oh well. Drama for nothing and I went back to sleep.

We were up the next morning for breakfast and off again. Dom and I stormed ahead despite his bad feet. He left me for dead up the hill climb as he always did. There was to be no polka dot jersey for me on this hike. German Laura had fallen and injured her back at the river crossing but we were unaware of this at the time until Jo caught us. We were trying to get hold of the champions league results on the way back as well, before eventually finding out that Arsenal and Manchester United had both gone through. I got to the top of the monster hill in the end and decided to run down. I caught Dom and walked with him. A bit further on Jo caught us and ran on past. It would be the first time I did not reach a point of the hike as a frontrunner. I realised I have barely gone into detail on any of the people or things on this hike. Thats because I am too lazy to bother and the internet connection has died, so I have to save this on word and upload it in the morning. Pain in the arse. We went swimming at the place where people stopped for the Coca plant on the way up. This required freezing cold refreshing water and pulling yourself back out of the water up a rock face with some ropes. I borrowed Jo's knife and carved up my foot where I had cut it and possibly got infected while swimming on day 2. The others got a bit squeamish over me driving a knife into my wound to bleed it clean. It rained again while we played cards that night and we had been very lucky to avoid the rain on the actual hiking days. We all slept in hammocks again and I still had no blankets. I had seen more snakes than blankets on this hike, but I had also become a very handy Yanif player.

The final day of the trek began with a race downhill. I started firing on all cylinders and decided to really push it as it was now the last leg of the trek. I ran nearly all of it and completed the last stage in 45 minutes. I managed to get 2 well deserved beers and an hours rest before the other guys straggled along. I also fell off rocks into the river twice but my shoes are none the worse for it. Everyone exhcnaged e-mails at the finishing line and I had four beers and some fish in the end. I think i will end the actual hike here and do some character fleshing of the other hikers in the next part. Otherwise it would be very short. Overall the hike was only strenuous in two places, was set over far more days than was needed, but it is definitely worth visiting. It has some stunning scenery along the way and the ruins themselves are in a spectacular setting in the middle of a valley. Apologies for any typos as it is now 3.20am and I am typing with the keyboard on my legs because I am slacking.

I think I missed a couple of bits so will just whack them on the end. Now I had to cut and paste anyway I will also use this as a chance for some character fleshing in rapid fire. Actually no I wont as just been distracted. Oh well on day 5 on the way down the hill Jo and I ended up posing with some soldiers in the ubiquitous hostage situation pose, but I left my bottle of Pepsi in my hand so it lacks that authenticity, while seeming more like a promotional ad. Also one of the Mexican guys went missing, but after a big search by the soldiers he turned up in the wrong camp.