Peru Part 8: Arequipa and Puno

It seemed like the bus driver was a massive Paul Walker fan. Fast and the Furious 4 was playing in between my sleep and then that film about him and the dogs in Antractica which I had seen before came on. Mostly ignored this as needed to catch up on sleep. Then there was a bastard with his soap that can cure everything. Its just a normal bar of soap. He said there ends my speech and carried on for another 100 years. Someone should have just shot him. Put us all out of our misery. I found a fair taxi driver when I arrived. Unusual. Arequipa would turn out to be the Peruvian equivalent of Cuenca. Vastly superior to the rest of the country in every way. I then got to watch some Peruvian comedy on the bus as well. the Peruvian idea of sophisticated comedy is men dressed as women. Sums up the level of intelligence in this country. I got into the city and had a walk around. It looked nice and pretty, but noone was available so I went to sleep.

Ah kick arse the Saints have held on with some desperate defending to beat the Falcons 26-23. 13-0 and going for the perfect season. Colts are just about up against the Broncos as well. There was a weird old guy staying in my hotel. He kept trying to shine my shoes and then wanted me to straighten his back, but it seemed like an excuse for him to rub his arse into my crotch. He then gave me his home address and asked me to visit. I think he may be a strange old gay man. Tried to avoid him for the rest of the trip, but he seemed to live like some sort of troll in the lobby. I put my laundry in and was about time it got done. I then went to meet Gianina for lunch. She showed me around the city and we went to a posh restaurant in the city that does cheap set menus. My inca cola was the same price as the whole meal, because it was not included. Met a Yankee friend of hers who said I could have a job in his institute if I don't find anything in Buenos Aires. Nice guy. Went to his place for drinks in the evening. Liverpool had drawn and the others had won. We went and met a tall friend of his names Claudia and another Claudia from couchsurfing and her friends. There was also another guy from the States. They were playing some form of jenga when we got there. Afterwards we went clubbing and all night long we met a load of people. Seems like a small town, but also a friendly town. There was an Irish guy who had been working for the American guy and seemingly knew most of the girls in the town. The American guy had walked out on two kids fucking in the street by his house earlier. They were a little embarassed but the middle of the street was never going to be a smart spot. I got a few people's numbers and then went back to the hostel. There was stupidly only one key for the room, so i had to knock on the door at 5am and wake up the Israeli guy there. He seemed ok with it given the circumstances.

Spurs managed to draw 2-2 with Everton after being 2-0 up with 12 minutes to play and then missed a last minute penalty. We just lost 1-0 yesterday to Wolves at home as well, which sucked. At least Liverpool lost and Man City drew, though Villa beat Man United. Game against Man City is a must win now on wednesday. Saints pulled off a miracle win as well, when Redskins missed a 26 yard fieldgoal, Saints went to whole pitch to score and then intercepted in overtime to kick a winning fieldgoal. Someone was smiling down on them. The last buses to Chivay had gone so I was forced to opt for a tour. I went back to the hostel and booked a one day tour that left at 2am. Great. I then went out to meet tall Claudia for drinks. I had effectively wasted a day due to the buses. We met and got coffee and then went to dance. We did some cool hip hop style and I pulled her in the taxi home as she had to leave. I still had time to kill so I went back to the club. Lost my phone in the taxi. Ah retarded. It was the last thing that had made it all the way through the trip with me. I was pissed off and now had no alarm. No choice but to keep on clubbing. I waqs dancing alone and met a very hot gymnast from Peru. We went with her friends to a bar and I met a random couchsurfer who was running the first ever donut business in Vietnam. Interesting. I stayed with them in the bar until I had to leave and then went to get the tour with no sleep. Stupid bus was really late and I kept waking up the guy in the hotel again and again until he did something about it. I threatened to cancel the tour unless the bus was there by 3am and it made it by 5 minutes to. I was really losing all my Englishness with my haggling. I think I will get into trouble when I get home and keep trying to haggle for absolutely everything.

It was a tour of middle aged people. The kind that Graham tends to hate. It was 45 minutes late in leaving. I hate tours. There was an advert on the chairs in the bus that said 'shoppinh centre exclusively for tourists.' Fuck that. Why would you want that. I wrote 'why am I here?' I think the sleep deprivation was getting to me, but I was constantly reminded of why I hate tours by the useless fucks that were on my tour. I was so fucking tired. We eventually made it to Cruz del Condor and I saw the condors circling away below and above me. I met the Canadian from Hucachina randomly. She had recognised me and I was not exactly sure who she was at first. I slept a lot and we had a lot of pointless stops in pointless towns for pointless things. Seems like the locals were after our blood, well money, but to them its the same thing. Currency vampires is what they are. Out to suck us dry. I was so fucking tired and could not find Claudia in the bars after I had contacted her about lost phone. I went back to the hostel to sleep, but those plans never work. I bumped into a couple of Canadians and a Yankee. They were wankers really, but figured they might be fun company for one night out. They were buzzed and so we headed out clubbing. One party had been busy so I asked at the door. They said it was private and a quincenera or however its written (party for 15 year olds). Whoops. The Canadian wanted to know why we could not get in as he spoke no Spanish so I explained it to him. We entered the bar and got mobbed by crazy drunk French girls. Was fun. Music was reggaeton and the French girl wanted to dance Merengue. She said she was too pissed for any other style. Then the Canadian got together with a local who did not like her arse being touched. Her friend miraculously appeared and they said to 'get me'. One reason they don't like Spanish speakers. We understand them. I was not interested and the Canadian wanted me to ask his girl if she would sleep with him. I said smooth or blunt. He said blunt as he only had one night. She said no. Then he moved on. Me and him got dancing with two lawyers who had to leave when their dad arrived. Meanwhile his brother and the Yank had found two girls. The Yank's girl was the best looking person I have ever seen in Peru. They were having fun and then the girls left. We followed them out and the fit one told her friend 'look just lie to him and tell him you have to leave.' Damn these Peruvian hunters. The American was heartbroken for the rest of the night, but we traded e-mails with her friend. We went to a few shit bars and then back to Deja Vu. Then we encountered a Chilean school group/university group, who wanted one of the Canadians to dance on the table. Only me and one Chilean girl spoke both languages and we ended up hooking up. The Canadians hooked up with one each, but then the Chilean girl with the Canadian said she was a lesbian and her girlfriend was there and jealous. Again I checked this in Spanish and it was bollocks. One of the Chileans had disappeared and eventually they had to get their bus for Chile and the Canadian was still trying to sleep with all of them. I said I may see them in Arica or in Valparaiso for new year. Will see how it goes. We eventually headed back to the hostel after a random night. I thought the Chilean had given me a fake e-mail and indeed it did not work, but then she added me anyway so maybe she wrote it wrong. Makes no sense.

I slept in and then had a chat with the guys before I went for lunch. I took a bus to Puno on Lake Titicaca in the afternoon. The border was going to shut early so I would not have enough time to cross into Bolivia that day. I was sitting in the bus terminal and there was a mighty noise made. Someone had parked in the wrong space. They swapped spaces. What the fuck was the point of that. They were next to each other and leaving at the same time anyway. Peruvians. Stupidity runs high in a lot of them. Arequipa is like an oasis of intelligence in the stupidity. The films were Braveheart and Django which was very random. I arrived in Puno half dead from a lack of sleep. There appeared to be no restaurants and loads of lightning on the lake. I booked my ticket for the next day and drew cash as there were no ATMs in Copacabana apparently.

Without any alarm I was up at 4.30am and paranoid I had missed the bus. Then again at 5.00am. I gave up and went to the bus station for my 7.30am bus. I killed time and then set off to cross the border. Apparently the ruins near to Copacabana were disappointing if you had come from Peru. I found the ruins in Peru disappointing, so God knows how bad the Bolivian ones are. We crossed over with limited problems except for being annoyed at the instructions in Spanish and English. I hate listening to stuff twice. Woohoo it was country number 51. Bolivia. Could it beat the shit Ecuador and so-so Peru to be king of the Andes?