Chile Part 2: Santiago, Vaparaiso and Vina Del Mar

Ok I am sitting here bleeding from my broken nose and aware that my diary was stolen from me. This makes it an urgent necessity (are there any others) that I get this down while my momory is still fresh. Well relatively fresh. The main points should have stuck. Damn this keyboard is tough. I hate hard keyboards as I type too fast. The broken nose shit will be in the next part. Makes for a fun tale. Chile has been interesting good and bad in ways Bolivia could only dream of.



Ok I took a bus from Iquique and came to Antofagasta. There I stayed in the bus station, paid for a bus to Santiago and killed time chatting with an Argentine dude. Spanglish I believe it was. I am now very much speaking more Spanish than English in general and can only help my development even if all my dictionary and books are now missing. I am not bitter at all. Nope. Just like Wenger. Got the bus and took a second night bus in a row. Slept at least 14 our of the 17 hours and watched part of some film. Can't remember what it was. I don't think yo or I will lose sleep over that one. Although technically I did as I watched it. Eventually my marathon busathon brought me to Santiago. I had not bothered to look around Antofagasta as my main rucksack has broken. This means the metal rods stick out the top and break my back rather than supporting it. Its only got to last about 5-6 weeks more though and then I will be in Buenos Aires. The time has come to work. Rumour has it that this work thing happens to people who need money. That they make you do stuff and you lose your freedom. Sounds terrifying. Maybe I will kill it if I see it. I may even have come across it some time in my past.



I got into Santiago at about 7am. Breakfast and grab Lucciana's number off the internet. Of course if this was any other capital, but Chile does not believe life starts before 10am or so, so I was stranded in Barrio Brazil twiddling my thumbs. As places for this activity go, Santiago is not a bad one. Has a lot of places like London. Especially New York street (financial centre) which is a spit for Bank. I liked the city. Noone who lives there likes it. At least they don't beat you up for your bag, but then my current landlady reckons the little shits were from Santiago. Hmm its also the only capital city I can think of that is cheaper to buy stuff than any of the other parts of the country. Usually its the most expensive. I could live in this city. Eventually I met Lucciana and it was cool as it was almost two years since she had stayed with me in London. I was looking forward to this, but I was to be frustrated. I think the 29th and 30th december have been solely designed to piss me off. I fucking hate those dates. Anyway she had two Swedes staying with her and I think my opening line of Chile being much more cultural and better than Peru and Bolivia did not go down well with them. Ah damn it. Scandinavian, vegetarian, hippyistic (does this need another y? I think I invented it) socialists. I have always got on cracking with them. Also they had typical northern european cold personalities and I talk like talkie toaster in speed. This was not great. The atmosphere was a little awkward and we went out for drinks and food in the evening. Hmm. I kept trying to kick something into life, but I figured they had mae their judgment on me from the opening statement. My mouth is always going to walk me into problems. I have one of the most divisive personalities around. People either really like me or hate me. Chances are if you are reading this you like me as you have my facebook lol, but if it makes it into a book I am sure I will have facebook hate groups up in Ecuador at the very least. Scratch that. They will probably use the next entry as a template for kicking the shit out of me. Anyway I went to sleep and at some point in the night a powow was called with the others. The Swedes did not want to spend new year with me. Excellent. This left the plans in good fettle. Shit. This was the night of the 29th/30th. For those with long memories that was the same date that I lost my passport in Dominican Republic last year. I think for safety measures I will not go out next year on these dates. I still have hope that someone takes up the fatwa offer and kills these dates. Apparently a German friend told me that the Mayans did not have names for the last 5 days of the year and thought they were bad luck. Damn it. I knew I should not attack Guatemala so much. If I promise to say its the best country in the world, will the Mayan gods stop fucking me in the arse on these dates. I do love Tikal. Best ruins in the Americas and thats the honest truth.



Ok well being the mature man I have become and being diplomatic (about time) I said I would pull out and find something else and they should all go to Valparaiso together. In reality it made most sense, but that day walking in town I was feeling bitter, angry and a little upset as I come all the way to see Lucciana and can't see her because some Swedes can't find some middle ground. Dammit. Yeah lets whack on some Corrs. Been awhile. Maybe they can stop my nose leaking. I went to search accomodation for Valparaiso. Yep Valparaiso. The place lonely planet tells everyone to go. I am there on the 30th without accomodation. This was going to be fun. I found some for the 30th and the 1st in the same hostel. $20 for a night. They want $80 for new year. Fuck that. I can rumba all night and then limp back in at midday to check in for thefirst. Cunning eh. I even found a couchsurfer to drop my stuff for new years eve in Vina del Mar and they had a party on. Excellent. Problem solved, except for a bus. What's this? An e-mail from my dad. Nationwide want me to repay 900 pounds of my overdraft in 19 days. WTF. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Motherfuckers. I hate this date. They expect me to magic that out of my arse when I am not working. This was not resolved until 4 days later and hung over me for new year but I will take it on now to get it out of the way. The lazy shits took the whole weekend off. I phoned them and said why are you removing it. They said no money was being paid in. I informed them that no money had gone in for 18 months and they had no problem when they had 13,000 pounds of my savings but now it was overdrawn for 2 months they want the money back. I said they knew I was travelling for 18 months and there was one month left. They said it did not matter. I said ok lets set up a wind down payment. Yes I can do that but first I have to default, even though penalty interest is the same as legal. So basically al it does is fuck my credit rating and possibly damage my credit card limit (on which I am currently travelling). It was not possible for them to change it without default. That must be bollocks as I had the power to renegotiate facilities up to 10,000 pounds as a lowly grunt in corporate banking. Arseholes. I said if you fuck my credit rating why should I pay them. They said they would send debt collectors. I said to Argentina. Excellent. Their flights would be more than the debt and do they need a place to stay. They said I would have to pay when I come back. I said excellent. Thats in 10 years. Keep on waiting boys. That scared the shit out of him. Fun for me though. After playing brinksmanship I would have to phone again the next day to speak to collections or some other bunch of idiots. Then I rang all my family and my dad told me my uncle would cover it and I would have to pay him back as he thought it unfair it ws pulled on me with no warning. Excellent news. I was very grateful and also thinking maybe I should not have threatened the bank now that it will be paid. I hate nationwide sometimes but they are still cheap. Probably means I won't use them to bank with while working though as I don't trust them now. The bastards may steal my money out from under me by adjusting limits.



Anyway enough of these two dates. Evil though they are. I went off to the national history museum. Only I didn't, because I had read the map wrong and I ended up at the natural history museum. I just used their toilet and left. I have seen these museums before and the plastic whale was not a good start. Nice grounds though. Eventually I went for a wander through town and found the national history museum. Nice enough place. I could not be bothered with the pre-Colombian one. The art is always crappy and too religious. I still agree with Mark Twain on that. I wanted to search out stuff on the War of the Pacific. I expected a whole room, but on the first pass missed the whole one photo they have on the war. Way to belittle Peru and Bolivia, but then maybe they are just not very proud of it. I headed back. Ah yeah I had done my washing the day before and wandered all around Lucciana's apartment in just my shorts. Maybe that put off the Swedes. Grabbed my stuff and shot off to Valparaiso. I limped in late and found my hostel after a long walk. It is kind of Bohemian. I quite like there and Vina del Mar. Vina is probably the slightly cleaner cut of the two. It wa full of French and French Canadians so we were chatting in Spanish as normal. They were playing drinking games. I miss the camaraderie of those but its not the same if you are on coke. I taught them a few. They must have thought it weird that the guy who does not drink knew so many drinking games. I ended up talking philosophy an EU politics with a French dude until about 4.30am. Stupid for the 30th december but fun anyway. I love the intellectual edge to French culture and should be fun when I am living there eventually. Still we lost lot of sleep and I had to leave by midday.



I limped up in the morning and went and met a few couchsurfers to take a city tour. Our guide took us all over the city and we even took the famous 'elevators' (I reckon they are mini funiculars, but hey elevator is not a real word in England so make it what you want). There are a lot of multicoloured buildings, strange architecture and sweeping sea vistas. There was also a Brazilian and an American southerner. Excellent. Then we met some Spaniards and they have the same sense of weirdness as the French that an Englishman can speak Spanish. It happens. Will be good for when I am Prime Minister though as can address a few European countries in their own language. I think my Spanish is approaching Francois's French (in terms of speaking being way better than writing). Damn it can smell iron in my nose. I suppose at least its good that I can smell. I took the train to Vina (I don't care if its more expensive. Trains are better and you don't get them often). I am even thinking of going south from Santiago by train just because I can. That's why Chile is cool. I met the group of couchsurfers sortof. There was a big group of people standing around with rucksacks. I assumed it was them, but said nothing as they could be from the other bus. They thought I must be the odd Englishman but noone said anything for 10 minutes. Really awakward. Eventually an Italian doctor put us out of our misery and we all went to her place. The Chileans thought my accent and speed was funny, because I speak Spanish so fast. Then again I speak English fast and I think they have a weird accent. So we are even. There was an Argentine girl travelling with a Yank, the Italian, a German and 3 Chileans. Then we met a massive group of people and everyone got massacred. Ah yeah the Chilean girl has a phenomenal house in Vina and a giant white dog. He looks like a polar bear and I called him orso polar all the time. Then he tried to hump me. I think he could have had me if he really wanted. He was pretty big. Tease. We watched the fireworks down by the main square. Cool but did not have the big Chilean flag firework that had been rumoured. Ah I miss bits without the diary. Its like a jump cut. I remembered this stunning girl arriving and thinking who is she, then I realised it was the Argentine after she had changed. That ha to be the most drastic transofrmation I have seen. Very impressive without your home kit on the road. Everyone was plastered. Guido was being very Italian with the women, the Yankee Scott was so plastered he danced off somewhere on his own and lost his bag. The German scuttled off with one of the Chileans and we found them in bed together later. We had a huge 2m viking Dane with us. He was like a blonde lighthouse in the crowd. There was an Aussie who probably hooked up with the host. We lost them. Then Mayra was upset and crying as Scott was to look after her and this was the first time out of her country. She hated drunk people, but was a little drunk. This was a night of contradictions and wading through it sober is always fun. I promised to lok after Mayra and then she wanted to slap Scott in the face. I ended up looking after all the things as everyone else was battered. I got myself a Lenny Kravitz wig. That drew loads of attention. I got the number of a cute Chilean then lost it later on when I lost my phone. Shit. Everyone scattered and we ended up in a fucking salsa club. Mayra wanted to ring Argentina so we went looking for phones. Did not find one. Then she did not want to dance close, but was suddenly grinding me. Then we kissed and then she did not want to be treated like a slut, so I backed off and then she wa grinding me again. Then she was off somewhere else and the Chilean, Guido and Scott were dancing between us. Everytime we got close someone spun us away. It was like that scene from Grease (much as I hate that film to get a mention in my blog). Looks like I am still typing so I will go see Paranormal Activity. Or maybe I should just sleep. This was a demanding night. So much drama. Then Guido started groping the barmaids and when they resisted told them to fuck themselves so he was thrown out. He was back again soon after and dancing with Mayra, which rattled me a bit. Nevermind. We eventually left with more drama. We took a bus back and I suggested we get lunch the day after. Mayra said yes and then when we made it back and the Chilean broke into the house she went on a massive rant about not being touched and not wanting lunch etc. Ok. Enough. I had lost my phone again. I grabbed my bag, left and set off to hike the 8km back along the coast to Valparaiso with my mp3 player. I figured I would not see them again. The walk back was cool and I did the whole thing with my Kravitz wig. I kept that. Oh shit no I didn't as I think it was in the bag. Or maybe its not. Hmm will look into that. Anyway got loads of attention and it was class. Lots of fun. Took me ages I think and then eventually I got to the hostel and went in for free internet and to crash. Met a cool Chilean and a Colombian dude in the lobby and we chatted with a German girl. I should have slept, but instead went with them and two Dutch girls to the beach over in Vina Del Mar.



I am still no beach man and apparently the sea is so cold you freeze your nuts off. I did not experiment. Instead I spent 200 years attempting to buy some empanadas. Eventually when they did come they were very big. An empanada here would be a pastel in Colombia. Some dude talked to me a lot, but I understood nothing. Some of these Chilean accents are impossible. Lots of people are staring at my bashed up face lol. Maybe I will be more scary than the horror film tonight. Its possible. Good to catch this up while its fresh. Ok just as I wrote that the internet place shut and I had to change to finish this. Will wrap this tonight and write the other one tomorrow while buying a new notebook and pen and maybe a small bag, though not sure what for. Apparently someone rang my Colombian friend and told him they have my bag in Vicuna. Damn it. Think I won't bother going back but will mull over it. I hate having a mashed face in a pretty town. Did not go to the horror either. Would have been a waste of money. Ok. The Colombian, me and the Dutch girls went to get ice cream and coffee and then came back to the hostel and crashed completely exhausted.

The next day I don't have any memory of what I did. I think I went to sort out the bank on this day maybe. Spurs went through 4-0 against Peterborough in the cup. Man U were knocked out by Leeds and then we were drawn against Leeds in the fourth round. Thank God they knocked Man U out. It would have been the third year in a row we played them in the fourth round and they are the only team to have beaten us in a domestic cup in the last 3 years. Trouble is, they beat us in every cup. Maybe we might win the FA Cup this year. Liverpool game has been called off this week due to ice. Pussies. I slept all through the afternoon to recover and then we went out to a salsa club again. Not more fucking salsa. We had gone to the main club in town to see a famous Chilean band, but in the end the queue was huge. Ah I had got dinner with an Aussie guy and we were reminiscing over our relationships in Colombia and Brazil respectively and how good the last one was. The salsa club really bored me to tears after an hour, but I stayed until around 4am.

I was designing the bus tour at this point. I think when I get back to Europe in 2012 I will buy a bus, decorate and paint it and then take it on a massive tour across Europe and maybe parts of Africa as well. Should be fun. Have been recruiting. On the sunday I got the last ticket back to Santiago for the evening and then went and watched Zombieland. Quite a lot of fun. As fun as the trailer suggests it would be. Then I grabbed a bus that was delayed because someone or something threw a rock at the window and it shattered so some passengers had to change buses. We got in late and I ended up staying in some old shithole of a place near the terminal for $20 because Lucciana was staying with her parents. Next up birthday, stars and getting beaten up.