Belize

Hey not sure where I got up to exactly with this thing. The border post with Belize was called Melchor de Menthos. Sort of like some fantastical wizard. I really should look back but I am far too lazy. Had cold pizza in the morning. Will have to utilise these two for one deal with Pollo Campero and may well get some tonight in Honduras.

Hmm the day was valentines day. These days just blur into nothingness when you are on the road. I would use it to write up what you read last time. The border had hassles as there were taxes to pay in and out of Belize. Though to exit Belize by land or air you have to pay a tax of around $14 but by boat you pay nothing. It made me laugh and meant I would head south to Punta Gorda to leave the country to avoid the tax. Some Aussie guy was getting frustrated with the border officials against the taxes. I assisted him with a bit of Spanish and walked across the divide. Then I accidentally annoyed the Belize guard by trying to write at his table and constantly talking to him in Spanish. Took a couple of days to stop doing that to people and get back into English. Not that they speak English here. Its a patois machine gun dialect thats ok one to one, but very difficult to decipher when they are firing off sentences at each other.

On the other side I was told it would cost $10 to get to San Ignacio by taxi. Fuck them. Its 13km. I can walk that. Staying under budget here was going to be difficult. I set off pacing the highway and had gone 500m before a tour operator picked me up in his jeep and gave me a free ride into town. I resolved to use something of his while there but ended up using none of it. Sad really. The town of San Ignacio was very small and expensive (like all of Belize). About 13,000 people so its probably the second or third biggest town. Even Belize City is only 50,000. Thisplace is not a real country. You can´t haver your capital smaller than Watford and expect to be a country. It was lots of small villages dependent on tourism and Menonites growing oranges. Guatemala really should absorb it and put it out of its misery. That being said its a pleasant country and noone ever rips you off (mainly because the actual prices are so ball bustingly expensive they dont have to). The first hotel was full and so I checked into the Hi-Et Guesthouse. A nice little house with funky owners. I was waiting for Mike (one part of our boyband) to arrive in town to book onto the ATM tour. The guy earlier had haggled us down to $65 each, so I thought without Mike (who did not show up) I was going to have to pay $130 and that was way out of my range. I ended up spending the evening writing and then fell asleep reading `The Red Badge of Courage'. There was a funky line that read "There was a portion of the world's history which he had regarded as the time of wars, but it, he thought, had been long gone over the horizon and had disappeared forever". Interesting this was a US civil war novel and I think those sentiments are still shared by a lot of people and are still naive. But then again I am listening to Rage Against the Machine while I write this.

In the morning I woke up and noticed someone had taken the final vacant room. Ah it must be Mike. I waited for the door to open and out walked a Menonite in full weird Amish gear. Hmm Mike had changed a bit. Damn he had not arrived. I chatted with the Menonite for a while and then sauntered round to the tour office. The guy said he coiuld do it for $70 which was lucky and enabled me to go. I had budgeted for $80 so no doubt I would waste that etra $10 on something pointless. I always do. There were a few others on our tour. This was only my second tour and again I was forced into it. A couple of Aussie guys had paid $60 each and a Canadian who had paid $75. He seemed overly eager to please everyone. There was a Canuck couple who spoke to noone, some young Canuck kid who was shy and an old American vietnam war veteran hippy who had sailed all over the world (really cool guy). He like me liked Guatemala City and we both thought it odd that people didn't visit it. Me, the Canadian and the Aussies chatted a lot on various things on the way there and then we hiked with our guide to the entrance. We were given a crach course in herbalism and they really do work. Made a mental note that the next time I am based somewhere I want to study some herbalism stuff to help in the wilderness. We also ate termites straight off a log. They tasted like carrots. I presume thats the taste of the wood they have consumed.

Once we got to the entrance we had to swim through a pool and then for 3 hours we were wading through waste high water and rocks through the caverns. Really cool stuff. Kind of like the Zion river fording combined with Carlsbad in Texas. At one point the guide made us turn off all our lights and we had the person in fronts shoulders while we walked into the pitch black underground for about 10 minutes with no light at all. Its remarkable how sharp your other senses get. I managed to work out the vague shape and dimensions of the cave system purely from listening to water droplets. When they turned the lights back on it was weird to see by hearing alone I had worked that out fairly accurately. We worked together as a group, passing back instructions on any potential hazards and it felt quite adventurous. Eventually you come to a turnoff where we had to scale a rock wall. I had not anticipated having to deal with my vertigo several hundred metres underground. Was a funny wake up call. I struggled up the rock face and then we had to remove our shoes. The Candian stated that this was the moment when Indiana Jones would tell you not to touch anything. We proceeded into a vast underground cavern, where the walls and floors were covered with Mayan pottery and skeletal remains. Was interesting and the guide gave us some good stories. We had to be careful not to step on any artefacts and then we scrambled over the last set of boulders to see the skeletal remains of a 14 year old girl (though at 5'3" that seemed awful tall for someone of that era. Think they should carbon date the body). On the scramble back down, me and the 18 year old kid found the path and led the others down. The guide reconed we were the first group to transverse it so far, but then I have a semi photographic memory so following routes is not a problem for me. After 1 day in a city I can sketch a map from memory. Throughout all of this I had been wearing my shitty shoes. How on earth they repeatedly withstood these tests I don't know but they were clinging on to remain part of the original items. My pad of paper really is falling apart. I think I need to pick up a new one. When we got back I grabbed dinner with the Canadian by accident and when I got back to my hotel they told me Mike was in town somewhere. I set off looking for him and found him with some Swedes and a Canadian girl they had been travelling with. The 5 of them had packed into 2 beds in a different hotel and the couple had gone back to the hotel for some alone time. The 4 remaining of us went for drinks with some locals and then ended up playing a lot of fussball, which I suck at. Mike and the local girl were really good and they cained everyone else. The table was fucked up though so I could removed my midfield men from the side of te table and march them up and down the table like freelance players. Was a good laugh anyway, though I broke my no drinking if I pay for accomodation clause. I tried to suggest they come down to Cockscomb Wildlife Basin but they decided they would join me the day after next.

In the morning I set off on a bus relay. First to Belmopan (which is apparently the capital). It looks like a shack town in the middle of nowhere and does not even have a supermarket. What kind of cuk up country is this. I then grabbed some food and took another bus to Dangriga as I needed food and cash. The biggest town in the south of the country has 8,000 people. Some people have more facebook friends than Dangriga has people. Its a chilled seaside town with only one main street. A bit like Cabarete before tourists arrived I imagine. I got some food (a ridiculous amount of food for two days as I heard the Sanctuary has none, but it stocks fanta and snickers) and set off south to Maya Village. This is the town closest to the basin and a 10km hike along the entrance road. I was beginning to think that a 10km hike with full baggage and shopping was too much (I did not want a taxi as it was $12 and I had already spent $20 on food and my daily budget is around $24. Fucking pound). Luckily in the town they have accomodation and I paid $10 a night. They even have some shops and restaurants so you don't have to bring everything with you if you stay here. Though most of the jaguar sightings are at night on the entrance road to the visitors centre and thats a long dark walk at night. I walked a little of the route towards the park and saw a huge dead snake, some parakeets, other birds and a very bright dark red snake. The internet place was down and so I asked if there was anywhere else. It was still weird talking to Mayan people and hearing them use Jamaican patois. Dislocation. I walked round to this other place and it was just a few houses on stilts. Shit. Which one. I thought I might be shot if I approach a place randomly so I asked some passer by and it turned out it was in her house. Cool. Was quite cheap but very slow. I settled down for the night looking out over the Menonite orange fields and killed a fly with a towel after hunting it around the room. I had a dorm room but was the only person in it for both days. You can pick up a ticket for the park at the Mayan women's centre but they only open at 7.30am so you can purchase a day in advance. They don't seem to keep the gate open at night and the visitors centre is unobservant so if you enter by foot you can probably go for free.

I woke up at dawn and set off down the road to the park. Took me around 100 minutes for the 10km, but I average 6km an hour comfortably over flattish terrain. My big water was leaking so I had to take it from the backpack and carry it in my hands. I creeped through the gate (no security or barriers) and was in the reserve. I wanted to get to the visitors centre before doing any of the trails along the way, but one led to a Plane Wreck. Cool. It felt like Lost as I wandered 200m into the jungle and saw the remains of a small research plane that had crashed into the jungle. I wanted to go inside, but the potential snakes and spiders discouraged me sufficiently. The guy at the visitor centre gave me a lowdown of the trails and with the exception of climbing the mountain (27km away) I figured I could do all of them in one day. I stormed off up Bens Bluff (4km hike to a waterfall and steep ascent to a viewing point). On the way I passed some Yankee school kids and when I got to the top and was eating my laughing cow and bread they rocked up again. It was mainly a girl's group from New York state (Syracuse). Some were quite cute, but I thought they were young (the others reckoned 17). Man maybe I am just too old to tell now lol. Anyway I was chatting with them for a while and the teacher did not look impressed. I looked at the Outlier. Its a 7km trail each way and apparently takes 7 hours. Bullshit. Thats 2km an hour. I eventually did it in just over 4 hours but it took a lot out of me. I set off on that one and met some Scottish old man who was the portent of doom. He insisted leaving at 10am was too late, I could not make it and I was already out of breath (I did not inform him I had already done nearly 20km that morning, but I was determined to proove him wrong). It took me 40 minutes to cover the first 3.5km, another 50 minutes to the campsite (quite tough) and 40 minutes more to the top (fucking tough and near vertical). Luckily I had bought some hardcore mints and they were good for unblocking the airways and enabling me to hike it. Left them somewhere in Copan though sadly. This was a tough treck but then I did nearly manage it in half time. Some parts are near vertical and require arm climbing and take their toll as you are ascending 1,800 feet over 1.5km. I was so far away from the other tourists though that I saw some wildlife. They say you can't hike it alone and its dangerous, but I was not with anyone else so I did it anyway. I saw a small gery and black snake that refused to move off the path. I had to traverse it. I would see another snake later and some monkeys. I heard some wild pigs but did not see them. On the way up I put my hands on some tree for balance and yelped in pain. Fucking thing was covered in spikes and my right hand was mangled. On the way down I forgot and did the same with my left hand, before falling on my arse down the hill. Twice I fell on my arse as logs or bits of ground gave way underneath me. UIts a tough climb. I even fell offthe side of the mountain. Jumpin onto what I thought was ground, but was actually leaves, I slid off the edge and had to grab a tree. I think it helped with the vertigo. I had always been afraid of falling over the edge and now that I had, it did not seem as bad. Just have to make sure there are some trees nearby. The view from the top was spectacular and I collapsed into devouring my lunch of also laughing cow and bread. I saved the sausages for the way down as I suspected they might be crap like the chicken/pork hybrids I had fed to the dogs the night before (they weren't or mayeb I was just starving). On the way down I kept an eye out for that impudent snake and then the whole brush came alive. A 5 foot long black snake moved about 20 foot in front of me and flew across the forest floor like Usain Bolt. Fuck me that was fast. My eyes widened. That snake could have fucked me up. I would struggle to run with it on flat land. Up here I was a dead man if it was poisonous. I found out later it was not and is a rat catcher. Poor rats. Now that it has gone I had hoped it was the deadly Fer De Lance, but not when it was still there. The trail was so overgrown at the top that you can tell not many people take it on, but its a good walk and if you want some strenuous exercise, thats the walk for you. I ahd managed to see more snakes in 24 hours than in the rest of my life combined.

When I got back to the visitors centre I took on another walk and it was 2.30pm and I had hiked most of the trails. Fuck you Scottish old man. Then I met two of the Swedes. They had arrived. We walked past the Yankee girls going to do some river tubing in their swimming costumes (I am glad I was not staying overnight in Camp Lolita). The guys cooked me some Macacroni Cheese so I did the washing up and then we decided to rent some tubes as it was only $2.50. Most trips in this country are around $50. We all set off as it was nearing dark and so two of them had flashlights. Ah fuck. How was I getting back home with no flashlight. Could fumble around in the dark. Agua Azul flashed through my mind. Oh well. We got in teh tubes (I went in my clothes and carried my shoes as I ahd no change of clothes). We floated down river. Its kindof chilled and nice. Though if there was an obstacle in the water I hit it. Every single one. I even got beached on the stones that were pounding our arses through the tube and sucked into a dead end. Emily drifted off at one point down some random tributary and reemerged later after Mike had gone to look for her. As we approached the end Ieven got a huge puncture tear and sank in the river. I could see air gushing out and Heather was laughing as I sunk into the tree part and bounced along the base of the river. I had to carry my tube round the corner and all the way back. Thank god the owners had gone home. What with this and the golf club in Dominican Republic I can understand why companies take insurance guarantees from people. We'd had some interesting conversations before and Heather had grown up home schooled on a farm in Alberta. One sister had converted to orthodox Judaism and married a rabbi in Jerusalem, while the other was a lesbian. Who says twins don't diverge in their life paths. I was now dripping wet and had no light. Heather lent me her torch and I promised to drop it off with the Mayan women. I set off in the pitch black down the 10km trail. I saw a Gibnut and a big spider the Lolitas had found. I had alwasy wanted to see a jaguar in the park, but as with the grizzlys in Yellowstone, now it was dark and I had a light with a penetration of 2m I really did not want to see one. I could barely see anything and the jungle noises were amplified. I felt like Samuel L Jackson in Jurassic Park. Shit it was unnerving, but I pressed on. Luckily a guy from my place in town who was dropping off food for the Yanks stopped and gave me a ride home. The woman who owned my hotel had thought I was eaten or something. I grabbed dinner in the restaurant and then weirdly all the staff left and so I had to pay in the morning.

In the morning I grabbed a bus down to Punta Gorda, through more pointless places. I found out there was an afternoon ferry and decided to get out of this expensive country while I could. Though the ferry was $25. Fuck sake. They even rape you as you leave. And no bastard in town would sell me a bolsa de agua. I had to do creative accunting again and pay the captain in part Quetzals. I got chatting with a girl from california, travelling with a Dutch girl and a Costa Rican couchsurfer I had recognised from online. We took the boat over to Livingston Guatemala and I had left the expensive non-country behind. Nice place. Its not real though.