Bogota Week Two

I began week two by introducing Praveen to Pain-Au-Chocolat. He had never had one before. We went to the little cafe that I would go to many times for breakfast until I got sick and decided to eat more fruit for breakfast. Walking late at night I decided it is safer to carry round a glass bottle of Postobon. That way you can whack anyone who attacks you. I was told there were buses only as far as calle 146 by the stupid guard even though they go further. Maybe this time it was my fault, but not normally. I met Alexandra outside of one of the shopping centres where they were doing a random test on the suspension of the new Toyota jeep thing. We went off to Chia for the day. Nice little town north of Bogota. Its famous for Andre's Carne de Res which I never actually went to visit in the end. I did not visit much touristy stuff in Bogota. Must be a legacy of living in a city. Never did much touristy stuff in London either. Its a nice colonial town and we ended up in the commercial centre where we saw an Israeli version of the band stomp performing live. They have dinosaur skeletons in the shopping centre. Interesting. She had been married to a Dutch guy for a year though it ended badly and he sounds like a dick. A lot of the European guys in Colombia sound like dicks and seem to treat the women differently there than they ever would in their own country. A Colombian friend of mine said the North Americans and Europeans often seem to have s superiority complex. Wonder if it is a legacy from the days of colonialism. Either way its plain wrong. Was still waiting to see what Lucia wanted to do. We ended up going to her flat and having cheese and jam toasties with her mum. I got a bus back to shady Jimenez, bought me a bottle of postobon and some classic English chip shop style chips and chatted with Praveen.

I had breakfast and then a long lunch with Angelica. I then met Praveen to teach some Spanish, but he never actually bothers to learn anything. That evening I went to the couchsurfing language meeting. Met Gloria and Alice for the first time. Both of whom would end up playing major roles in my time in Bogota. I met Lucia after the meeting and she was all over me after about ten minutes. We went to a bar up around Heroes and carried on playing. There was a lot of cat and mouse game playing. It was like with Caitlin in that first night in London all over again. Very fun and very frustrating. She tod me she wanted to have sex with me, which I had no problem with, but first I had to tell her that I loved her. Now that was not going to happen. I don't lie and I did not love her. She claimed that all men lie for sex. I said I don't lie for anything and I don't need to lie for sex. She was leaving the country in seven days and she was certain that I would say those words. I said I would prove her wrong. She was crazy but very good looking. She took my hand and put it down her trousers saying 'See I'm wet and you want me.' Both very true, but I was not going to lie. We sadly parted that night and she sent me a message saying its just three little words. I resisted comforatbly for her remaining seven days and she ended up sending me a message saying there was one guy she could trust. I replied that it was a little late now, given that she was in Austria and I was still in Bogota. Fun times.

We had Hull away on the wednesday. I thought it might be a tough game, but we ended up demolishing them 5-1. We were looking pretty good this season. Top of the league on goal difference. There was always an annoying fat bastard in the internet cafe I used most often, who always seemed to want to clean around me when there was no need and was always crashing into me. He annoyed me a lot. There was also a strange street cleaner near my house who was always whistling the tune from Kill Bill while he was cleaning. A little disconcerting. Russia have beaten Slovenia 2-1 first leg, Greece drew 0-0 with Ukraine and Egypt scored in the fifth minute of injury time to set up a play off in Sudan wednesday. Six places left. Who will make them on wednesday. I met Cristina for lunch on the wednesday and had a pleasant time. In the evening I made a long walk to the Hacienda shopping centre. Its a cool place designed like a Spanish colonial hacienda. I was supposed to meet Adriana but was late getting there and we missed each other. It was a long trek to be stood up. Oh well. Lucia was still playing games at this point and I was still unaware as to how that would pan out. Kind of hoped she would drop her conditions.

I did nothing all day long on the thursday. Then Alice and Xiomara came over in the evening for drinks. This was an interesting evening. We kicked off drinking in the flat and then headed off for a bar, but the people had already left. So we went to Dona Cecis (from now on to be called 'the shit bar' like we always called it here). Met a rocking Yankee weirdo there. He kept telling us he was a Beatlemaniac and that he loved Paul McCartney. He was always saying 'what would Paul say?' He believed he was a musician with the same talent as Mozart and was really interested in Alice. I pretended to be married to Xiomara and we maintained that Alice was the Queen of England and Praveen was her husband and private Karma Sutra instructor. He was still getting too friendly so I told him Praveen did not like people touching his wife. When he tried, Praveen slapped his arms and stated 'don't touch my wife'. He said Alice had beautiful blue eyes. Never mind that her eyes are green. Then he followed Praveen to the toilets to ask if he loved Alice and if not why does he not divorce her. Then a drunken student girl of his apparently, came to our table, stared at us, said some giberrish and fell over. I hope she made it home ok. Then we made friends with some cool old Colombian guy. We would see him a few times in the bar. We nearly died from laughing that night. Especially when the Yankee said

'Paul McCartney has his birthday on June 8th' (He was trying to convince us he was Paul McCartney)

'Guess when my birthday is?'

Now I answered June 8th as that was obviously his point

'No, June the 18th' (What the fuck. This guy was too much) Praveen and Alice would actually bump into him again somewhere and had to hide. I ended up sleeping with Xiomara that night after she stayed at mine, though I am not really sure who instigated it.

I got breakfast with Xiomara and Praveen in the morning. Alice had gone back to her hostel after escaping the Yank. She was over here to study Spanish and work on her PHD and had yet to get the flat she would later have around Plaza de Torros. I met Angelica for a long lunch and to discuss her Yankee problem. He sounded like a cock to me and I gave her some advice that would later prove he was a cock. Why do all of my Latin American female friends always end up with dickhead men. I came back and slept while I was cooking the Chinese soup. My landlady was drunk again. This was quite normal. Praveen was most likely going to Brazil. In the end he would end up going there and will be in Porto Alegre some time soon I think. I cooked the Chinese pork and cabbage soup for Maria and Angelica and I ended up being too tired to go to the club with the girl from Cali. We had to stick a knife through the can to get to the peaches for the pudding. Savagery.

I slept in on the saturday as I seemed to do quite a lot in Bogota. I met Gloria for breakfast and lunch before heading to the book fair. I met her friend Leonardo (one of the nicer Colombian guys I would meet). I have no idea what the fuck I am writing about. I think some people phoned me for English lessons and I ended up finally eating at the wimpy. They still have them here. I thought they were extinct. I don't remember seeing one in England since I was a very small kid. I met up with Praveen that night and we headed out for a party in the mountains. We ended up cramming into the back of a van with the dj and a load of foreigners. We went up some windy roads to a couchsurfing party. There was plenty of dancing, a fair bit of drinking though I went a bit weird so I reckon my drink must have been spiked. I think everyone hooked up with someone at this party except for me and one other person. No idea what I was doing. Alexandra came along and got together with a Chilean guy which was shitty for me and I hate dancing salsa so that kind of sucked. Praveen got wuite drunk. There was a drunk guy from Barranquilla, but someone told be all Costena guys are perros. The party was all night long, but I seemed to be the only one not to enjoy it loads. Oh well. The Bogota couchsurfing group are a hard group to crack. We came back late and ended up getting the first transmilenio back to our apartment.

Slept very late. Spurs managed to win 2-1 away against West Ham and we are continuing out good start to the season. Three from three. Still top. Woohoo. Met Hannah (an English girl who had contacted me on couchsurfing), Gloria and Leonardo to go to an Andie Warhol exhibition. It was ok. Enjoyed it but not the biggest fan of his work. I cooked spaghetti for everyone at Leonardo's place. Praveen was getting Leonardo's brother to teach him some more salsa and England somehow managed to win the Ashes. Everyone was tired so I headed home and at this point I had won my bet with Lucia.