Peru Part 2: Peruvian Amazon on a Boat

Ah I have not written for nearly 4 months in updating this blog and it shows. Luckily I am planning on spending some time in Quito where its shit and I only have stuff to do in the evening, hanging with the twins. So with world cup qualifiers to watch in the background and an incessant need to do some serious catching up, without further ado I bring you the glories of yet another boat ride. As if the first one was not exciting enough.

There was plenty of cards as normal. There were even some pink dolphins. Though they appear not to be pink. More like some grey/pink bastard half breed that has evolved over years of Brazilian style dolphin promiscuity. The Peruvian locals are a lot more sedate than the Brazilians on the boat. Like walking from a rave into a church convention. Stop the press. Somehow New Zealand have qualified for the World Cup by beating nobody. They should scrap the Oceania zone and make all of them compete with the Asian zone like Australia. Nigeria are also there. Congrats to them. There was a crazy hippy woman on our boat. She forced everyone into strange dawn yoga sessions, cut Dave's hair and was generally quit psycho but a good, strong character. We were joined on board by an English/Australian couple called Nick and Hope and their other friend Nick (also English). Was a cool French couple, a couple of English guys and a Swiss guy called Manuel. There were no showers apparently, though I remember (well as well as you can for four months) that we took showers on the boat. Not sure what I was talking about. There was a puppy that was ritually abused by its owners and of course being a boat full of Brits we took offense to canine cruelty. There was also a little kid with a monkey. Strange. No late night pìss ups and sneaking to the captain's cabin on this boat trip. There was a overly gay chef who took an interest in Nick and persisted to play charades with a banana. Amusing for the rest of us. There was some old Peruvian mum who used to sneak off for sex with a 16 year old local boy and my neighbours hammock kept collapsing, ploughing his head into the deck. We played some more cards. Always playing cards. If you don't have a deck for one of these boat voyages I think you will literally die from extreme boredom. Ah at last I showered, but the showers had peepholes. I assumed this was so that the chef could molest Nick. That appears to be about the summary of the voyage. We had a good time more or less and formed a strong bonded group that stayed together for a surprising amount of time until everybody seperated or was picked off Predator style.